I'm Not a High School Boy
CHAPTER 53: How to Return

Gisel pushed Rey's hand away from her face. The wrinkles on his eyebrows getting tighter indicates he is angry.

"Enough, Rey. It's not funny anymore. I've said many times, don't try to seduce me. That won't work."

Gisel now chose to sit in front of Reina's study desk. She looks at a photo of Reina with herself and Rey in a photobox. They took it when they went for a walk together.

"Every time you say that, I'm always afraid you'll get further away. I've let you be like that for years, so you don't push me away, and I can stay with you. I never realized that it turned out that my fear was actually making you more distant," explained Rey.

Gisel no longer knew how he should react. Everything Rey said felt unreal to her. It doesn't make any sense. Or maybe he himself is not willing to put it in his logic.

"I'm sorry, Gi. All's fault. Everything that happened in the past, it was all my fault. I should have given you a sense of security. But I hurt you the most. I ... Reina's right, I'm a fool."

Gisel just sat there listening to everything Rey said. He did not look back to see the man. Her current thoughts and feelings were completely confused by Rey.

In her silence, she recalls the times she was with Rey. Everything Rey has done to her now looks different from the way she's been looking. Gisel no longer knew who he was dealing with all this time.

The walls she had been building to ward off all the thoughts she didn't want about Rey, now seemed to collapse instantly. Although he tried to rebuild it, the wall continued to fall. Gisel no longer knew what to do now.

"They're right. You are heartless" said Gisel Lirih.

Some may choose to hold her, but others who get a rejection from Rey end up venting their anger on Gisel. And some of the rest shed their tears on Gisel. Everyone says the same thing. Rey has no heart.

Like an earthquake tremor that came suddenly, so Rey's two hands suddenly hugged her from behind. Gisel did not reject him. He left Rey with everything she wanted to do.

"I'm sorry, Gi. I'm sorry ..," said Rey who was equally shrewd.

"You don't know how long I buried everything deep."

From the shrill, the longer the tone of Gisel's voice increased.

"You don't know how many times I've told myself you don't have feelings."

And, almost yelling.

"You don't know I told myself many times never to be Reynard Hardiyanto's victim."

Gisel breaks away from Rey's embrace. He stood up from his seat, then looked at Rey with a gaze full of anger.

Rey doesn't know what Gisel will do to her. He just stared back at Gisel in astonishment. Once he mentioned the girl's name, but Gisel didn't care. He's really angry.

"And now you can easily say that. I should've let them kill you, Rey."

Gisel gave Rey a kick. But, the man was able to quickly avoid it. Gisel gives it another punch, Rey catches the blow. With his other hand, Gisel slashed his punch into Rey's abdomen. This time, Rey did not escape.

"Ugh ...," Rey snorted as the punch received it. "Rel ..."

But, Gisel did not regret it. Lastly, he wanted to take his punch again. He raised his hand high. As he looked at Rey who was moaning in pain, his already floating hand, stopped instantly.

But, only halfway to Reina's room door, Gisel turned around again. He still had time to see the smiling Rey suddenly grimacing in pain again. Gisel walked up to Rey immediately, then gave her a pretty hard punch on the side of her chest.

"Ugh, Gi ...," Rey groaned in pain.

Gisel raised his index finger. He wants to say something. But instantly all the words he wanted to say just disappeared. His mouth was open without a single word coming out of him.

Lastly, he simply glared at Rey, snorted in annoyance once more, then completely walked out of the room.

Once again, Rey simply smiled at Gisel's reaction.

......................

Gisel has just finished his bath and intends to go down looking for Ian and Nabila. But on his way, he sees Rey and Risa chatting. He wanted to join them, but then undo his intentions when he heard the talk of those who didn't seem to expect him to be there.

"My grandfather said, everyone can return to their own bodies if Bu Gisella's soul leaves her body and picks up Kanaya's soul" said Risa.

"You mean?"

"Yes, Sir. Miss Gisella must die."

"No. Cannot. What if it fails? What if Gigi doesn't come back?" Rey said repeatedly rejecting everything Risa had told her.

"But, Mr ..."

"Don't say anything, Risa. You don't say anything about this. We'll find another way. I'll talk to your grandfather. Anyway I don't want Gigi to try this way" Rey denied again.

Before they disbanded, Gisel immediately returned to his room. He didn't want Rey to see him there and assumed he had heard it all.

"Dead, huh? I must be lifeless" said Gisel.

Gisel kept thinking that way. A feeling of fear enveloped his entire body.

"What would happen if I couldn't go back? Will my life really end?"

All the thoughts of him that might not come back to life made it feel like he was on the edge of the abyss. The choice is to jump to the bottom of the abyss or away from the abyss.

"If I go back, I'll still be Kanaya. Do I have to be Kanaya forever?"

Kanaya's life may not be perfect, but Gisel doesn't regret it either. He learned many things when he became Kanaya. A bond of family and friendship. Everything she couldn't get when she became Gisella.

"But that's the way I can go back. I am Gisella. Kanaya is Kanaya. We have to go back to each other's lives, Kanaya."

Gisel looked at the mirror reflecting on his reflection. He said to his own shadow, "There are many people waiting for you, Kanaya. So did I ..."