DEVANYE. STILL LOVING YOU
part 34's
I haven't been to school for three days. All of these problems are making me dizzy and down. I should have accepted Edgar's offer yesterday to marry him. Is correct. I must accept, maybe until now I will not know if I am just a foster child mom and dad. Mel's sister won't hate me either. And...
Mamma... Is my mom still crying? I'm sorry mama I'm not a filial son. I am not a mother, but I love my mother.
What the hell am I doing?!
I've broken everyone's heart. Mama, papa, Mel's sister, Edgar, and indirectly mama and papa Devan.
I'm being selfish! With whoever I am, there must be someone whose heart is hurting.
If I had accepted Edgar's offer, I would have felt guilty for lying to their families.
"It's okay. I'd say we do it out of love. Mom and Dad won't be angry. Even if we are expelled, I still have other efforts to be able to support our small family. I love you so much and I accept you with your son." that's what Edgar said that morning on the balcony. So sweet, right? But honestly I'm still confused. It's not fair to Edgar and Sofia. And his family too. So I rejected Edgar. Their families have been too kind to me. Even the affection his parents gave me was just as great for his children.
The day is getting late, the clouds have begun to change color with the shade that still looks thin. The sound of vehicles out there is boisterous. Must be crowded because it's time for people to come home from work activities.
This is what I've always done for the past three days. Just sit quietly on the table, staring out, observing the small human activities below the same. Like a colonizing ant.
Every fifteen minutes the guards who stood guard at the entrance went inside and ensured my safety. Afraid that I'd do something as unwanted as I did two days ago. When I was at the height of the frustration I unknowingly grasped the kitchen knife and pointed it at my veins. I'm crazy!!
If only Devan didn't come soon enough it could be made sure I was already in another realm. But maybe it's better, right?
I'm really crazy!!
Since then the sharp and possible objects that made me hurt were removed.
Door opens. Without even looking I knew it was Devan's bodyguard, then it closed again. I heard him talking to someone.
"Miss is still in place. Not changed since this morning." lirih, I heard he reported my monotonous activities. In addition to going home to the bathroom because you have to vomit.
Didn't he get tired of checking up on me and reporting the same thing over and over again?
I'm back to observing all the movements out there. The window is locked from the outside. Devan made this window unopen. Damnit damnit!!
You think I'm gonna jump? Aye! That's what I thought! But Devan thought about it before I had that crazy idea lately.
The door is back open. This time Devan. I know the scent of perfume.
"Honey afternoon!" Devan kissed my forehead.
"Look at what I brought" he said, opening the package and moving it to the bowl he had brought from the kitchen. I'm not curious, I don't even take my eyes off the street in front of me, just look at what he's doing out of the corner of my eye.
"Ah or you want a roast chicken. Aren't you? I also bring this, this is what we buy first. Although now the seller is not Mud sir anymore, but has switched to his son." Something distinctive smelled as Devan took it out of the black plastic. The distinctive fragrance of arson lurks trying to tempt me. But I also don't have any taste for what Devan brings.
Devan opened it, then raised it high in front of me. He picked it up a bit and took the rice with his hand. Poking it in front of my mouth complete with sambal. I'm still quiet. Devan breathed a heavy sigh. He must have been dizzy with my behavior for the past three days.
I sucked my stomach still flat. Comfortable!
"Honey. Honey. You have to eat, there is our child who must be well taken care of. He must be hungry too. You only ate two mouthfuls this afternoon, right? Poor our son he needs food too." Yes, for three days Devan was the one who bribed me, at breakfast, at lunch he also always took the time to go home to persuade me to eat. Devan brought himself closer to lowering my legs until he was on both sides of his body sitting on a chair. And put his head to my stomach. Kissed her a few times.
"Hi my boy. Tell your mom that daddy here is very anxious. Tell him to eat. And tell him to give this smile to your chest. Say the same mom, if dad kangen with his babble and scolding. He's like a statue now, dad misses his death blow."
You crazy Devan! Has he gone crazy like me? And not necessarily my son!
"Please dad please talk to mom, so she wants to eat. Dad misses your mom! It feels like dad chose to die instead of seeing your mom who silenced dad. What's the point of living if you make your mom suffer. All because of wrong dad. If only that night I could hold back, this would not have happened."
"It's not that dad is unhappy with your presence, but dad just doesn't want to see a sad mom. Dad's really not strong. Dad just wants to make you happy. That's all!" his eyes were glazed over, even those tears were ready to spill.
I went down to his lap. Hugged it tightly. Devan hugged me back with a slow puff. Why is the father of my son so crybaby?!
It's not Devan's fault, it's the bastard! If only he hadn't mixed my drink with medicine would have been fine!
Aye! I have to explain all this to Mel's sister. The beginning of how I could spend the night with Devan! Why am I stupid not to think about this? It's possible that Mel's sister could accept my explanation, and she won't be angry anymore, at least she'll listen and not think of me as a seductive woman.
"I want to eat."
Devan stretches his arms. Staring at me couldn't believe it. His eyes sparkled with a fluffy smile. He looked at me for a long time.
"I want to eat, Dev!" my words woke him up from his surprise. This is the first time I've asked her to speak after three days of just crying and crying.
Devan grabbed both of my cheeks and showered me with his kiss.
"I WANT TO EAT, DEVAN!!!!" I finally shouted, annoyed! It's not that he's getting mad that he's kissing my whole face more and more.
"Not eat!" my murmur will rise but be held by his hands on my waist.
"OK, eat. I'll bribe!" he said with joy, then took the fried chicken and started to feed me.
"Don't want this. I want rujak!"
"Three bribes, you can eat rujak!"