Don't (Blame) Love
Episode 34

Because it's already

approaching lunchtime, Al invites Queen to have lunch together first at home.

“We have children so, cake does not have children like this, yes?” said Queen

start the conversation while waiting for the aunt to prepare their meal.

“How else do you want, darling? Berlyn is more comfortable

with his grandparents. Do we need to have another child?”

Queen looked at her husband while laughing stifledly. “Emang

what dreams do you want to have children, anyway?”

“Five. I've got two, so, three more, guys

all, and they will later be the Jedi successor family company.”

“Bot a lot, Al? I don't want to have children

many-banya,” cetus Queen. Still with a laugh.

“Why? We can pay the baby sister to help with the treatment

them, Darling.”

“But, they can't help ease my pain during childbirth, Al.”

The man laughed, then held his wife's hand and

bertaka, “I'm kidding. If you want to have Clarissa and Berlyn, I don't have a problem. But, honestly I also want a boy who can take care of his two brothers.”

“Entahlah. I haven't thought of anything.”

Queen herself wants to have another child. But, given Al's attitude after she gave birth to her daughter who suddenly turned indifferent and so rarely went home that she felt traumatized alone. With

having a mute child, he is also afraid, later his second child will also be disabled. But, such a thing, she couldn't possibly have also told her husband. As a reason, Queen always said she was still traumatized by pain when she delivered her twins normally.

“Maybe we have enough with a pair of twins only

dear.”

The Queen responded with a smile. After dinner

al takes Queen to the hospital. While he himself returned to the office.

He had already arrived at the office. But, as soon as he got a report that the clinic building he was going to allocate for Queen was almost finished, he returned home after finishing his breakfast. And invite his wife to see.

***

Bilqis did not catch Tiara at school this day. Him

will wait for the second break. Perhaps, he could find his best friend in the cafeteria. At first he thought that Tiara had deliberately not left the classroom in order to avoid food. Last week, he told her he wanted to

dieting. The scale continues to falter.

But, when the second istirshat clock Bilqis also still not

finding Tiara. Curious, he tried to find a child who was in class with Tiara to ask her whereabouts.

“Sorry, Tiara entered school, no?” ask Bilqis wrongly

one child wearing a bet, or class identity.

“Tiara? Come in. Just don't know. He's in class

tuh.”

“Thanks.”

After getting information about the whereabouts of his best friend, the girl

it also went straight to the Tiara class which was at the very end there.

Since he was in class F. while Bilqis, he was in the favorite class. Class I.

What the boy said was right. On the bench

at the very back of a girl was sitting dreamy on her stool. Bilqis immediately walked up to the boy.

“Tiara, you why?” ask Bilqis while speeding up

his step found his best friend was just dumbass.

Tiara silently did not answer Bilqis' question. It precisely

down and even cry.

Finding his best friend crying, Bilqis was even more confused.

He shook his back a little hard for the girl to answer.

So that he also knew what made him sad.

“Tiara, I asked you. Answer, donk!”

“Aduh!” tiara felt sick. When he shook

the girl's back.

“Why you? What's wrong with your back?” ask Bilqis

panicked.

“I'm fine. I just fell.”

“Severe, yes?” Bilqis was panicking. He worries that

his best friend fell off the bike. But, the rhino looks there is a cut, bruised

or just scratched.

“Not at all. I just slipped in the bathroom

only, kok.” Tiara smiled. But that smile was hiding

something's. But, what?”

“Do you not want to eat at the cafeteria? You've been a little

after one week of eating and snacking,” said Bilqis while

watching Tiara's body that was indeed shrinking slightly.

“I'm not hungry, Bilqis. If you want to eat, you go to

canteen only. I still want to stay in class,” replied Tiara. He too

pretend to take a student's worksheet, read the summary of the material and

mark a point on one of the answer choices that are there.

Bilqis continued to observe something that went wrong on

this best friend. What is this why? Since when did he learn? Doesn't she usually prefer to open adult tabloids and fashion alone?

“If you don't want to eat it doesn't matter. I will too

stay right here. If you are hungry, how could I possibly be full, ” replied Bilqis.

Both of them end up in class

befriend mute. Bilqis was still quietly observing the strange movements of his best friend.

Tiara still pretends to work on the problems in her lks.

In fact, he himself gave a simple answer. Alias ngawur's.

Sure oes. The burden of the problem at home feels heavy.

Let alone thinking of the answer, the teacher explained that he could not hear.

Because they are not focused. But Bilqis knows it all. Whatever Tiara is doing right now is just pretending and just to trick her. Not to ask about his personal problems. He is still not ready to tell a story, which is not a story even cry again later.

They continued to remain silent in Tiara's class until the bell

the class sign has sounded.

“Tiara, if you have any problems, don't hesitate

share with. I promise, I'll help you if I can.” After that, then,

Bilqis leaves her best friend alone and enters her class.

But, apparently Tiara's unusual shadow was enough

grabbing Bilqis' attention. In fact he can't even 100% focus on

lessons. Was also reprimanded by the teacher who brought the subject.

Returning home from school, Bilqis secretly stalks Tiara from the

backside. If Tiara doesn't want to tell a story. Then, he will find out the answer himself

without asking anyone else, and in his own way of course.

“I'm sorry, Tiara if what I'm doing is so not

polite,” murmured alone.

As soon as he saw Tiara enter into an angkot, Biqis

directly ask brother ojek kolan to follow the angkot.

Luckily, today he is wearing a new jacket that his mother bought him

Queen at the mall yesterday. So, Tiara would not suspect and recognize that

the one who followed him was Bilqis. Moreover, her blue uniform skirt has also been removed in the toilet

at school, he changed clothes wearing trousers and T-shirts, plus

wearing a hodie jacket.

After four kilos of meters, the angkot stopped. It turns out that

down from there is Tiara. Just Tiara alone nothing else, he came back

observing again. The girl walked into an alley and walked a little

hastily.

Soon, Bilqis gave fifty thousand dollars

ojek's brother. Then they went to follow Tiara. He does not want his efforts

to be in vain for losing track of his best friend. Because, all this time Tiara

never want to be frank. Where Tiara's home is also not known.

“Dek, change!” yelled brother ojek.

“For a brother,” replied Bilqis then ran and

sneaking around after Tiara was under his watch.

In a simple house and far from a good word, but still

decent and even still spacious house in housing. Tiara went into the house. Bilqis is still

hang in place and keep an eye on what's going on there.

After a few minutes, he heard a scream as well as the cry of a girl. Obviously, it was Tiara's voice.

“Aaaa.. geez, forgive me.”.

Worried that something bad happened to his best friend, Bilqis soon moved on

from the hiding place and immediately approached the house that was entered by Tiara.

Tiara's cry sounded heartbreaking. With

hesitating, Bilqis knocked on the door of the house.

“Tok... tok tok!”

“You're silent! Watch out until you show your baby tears

on people coming.’’ A woman's voice came from inside. His tone was very pressing and full of threats.

Clearly, it must have been aimed at Tiara, who else? He only heard the sound of his best friend's cries.

Door opens. With the cause and tear marks that have not disappeared and the hair is also messy. There is no face to face with Bilqis. He may also wonder how his best friend knows his home.

“Bilqis? Why are you here?’ tiara asked in surprise.

“Tiara! Who's coming? Tell me to leave if you don't

in-depth!” the same woman shouted from inside the house.

“Tiara, this is a group assignment, I think you forgot. If you are

don't come, your value can decrease, you know. And you might even be threatened

not going up class!” exclaim Bilqis with a voice that is deliberately cast. So that the woman who bullied Tiara could hear. But he also made eye gestures to his best friend.

“E... Yes, I forgot,”

tiara replied with a slight stammer.

A middle-aged woman, around age thirty-three

years come from the house. He asked Tiara tightly.

“Who is he? What do I need here?”

“She's Tiara's schoolmate, Mom. Ka... “

“I Bilqis. I'm here to catch up with Tiara

study group at my home,” replied Biliqs interrupting Tiara's words. He felt that his best friend was very afraid of the woman. But, she called him mother? Is she really her mother? How cruel it looks. When he told the story, it did not show that his mother was very cruel.

“Why should the study group? Can't learn

by yourself? If it has to be a group, why not just here?” the woman replied with a dislike look.

“Because, it has been assigned by the teacher to study

groups to be able to discuss each other and exchange ideas. Indeed, a group of friends recommend my place because in my place there is a computer

and also access wifi.”

With Bilqis' answer so convincing, finally

the woman also allowed Tiara to leave.

Tiara goes inside to pick up her books and school bags

without allowing Bilqius to enter. After five minutes, the girl came out with a puffy face and full of fear and invited Bilqis to leave the place immediately.

Arrive on the highway,

Bilqis offered him to eat and drink first. But Tiara refused. Bilqis knows, Tiara does not need food and drink for now. Even though his stomach may also be hungry, and his throat is dry. But, that's more he needs right now

the inner bond first. Bilqis quickly ordered a taxi online that could

take him and his best friend home.

Once at home, Bilqis makes warm jasmine tea for

Tiara's. She remembers Queen's mother and Clara's grandmother. He said, the aroma of jasmine tea can be a therapeutic aroma that calms the mind. So, he purposely made it for Tiara to

his mind could relax.

“You drink first. You brought a change of clothes, didn't you?” ask

Bilqis was well aware that Tiara was still wearing fresh clothes.

The girl just nodded. It's been ten minutes Taira

not speaking yet. Maybe my time isn't long. But, for Bilqis who

not used to this Tiara attitude also felt long and very

uninspiring.

“Tiara, you said I'm your best friend, why are you quiet

when in trouble? Wh why? You're talking dong! What is the use of me as a friend if you are only there when you are happy and do not take part in your difficulties?”

“I don't know where to start, Bilqis. I

confused, it felt like I wanted to kill myself so I could end it all

my suffering is.”

“Is suicide a path? You believe no, you,

what is the punishment for a person who is impatient with the test and prefers to end his life?” bilqis looked with pity at Tiara. He had not known Tiara for a long time, only a few months. But, as long as he knows the girl

this and know for yourself, Tiara is a jolly girl figure.

 “Since my father left

we died, my mother became sick and also her emotions were unstable. He rarely vent his emotions on me and my two sisters. But, the worst to me.”

Bilqis stroked Tiara's back. With his touch, he

I hope to give him strength from within.

“You know? All this time I worked my bones to be a half-day helper where the money ran to? To my mother. He used my money to buy liquor. He said, with a drink, then his mood will be calm. But, when the effects of the liquor are gone, the emotions will also return like

at first, it was even worse.

I'm tired of having to live like this, no one can

understand and can give me strength. The man I love the most and I

trust is also now lost.”

“Maybe God has other plans. You know, my mama

actually a widow, Tiara. With my dad Al, he's divorced. Actually, he's not my real papa. My stepfather married my mother when I

one and a half years old. Because I never knew what my real father looked like, so, every time I heard my father say, he's the one I had in mind.

My mother divorced my biological father while I was still in the womb, the case

it may also be worse than what your mother experienced. My biological father impregnated the child and the female family held him accountable. But, uh,

the woman asked my real father to leave my mother.”

“Really, Bilqis? But, your mama was great. He is not tempram

Bilqis. To say more honestly to him

embarrassed. Because, here the guilty is not the second party who is the wife of his stepfather at this time. Other than her own mother.

Bilqis nodded slowly to convince Tiara, she wanted to

The Tiara can become even stronger in the face of this cruel, and sometimes unjust, life.

“Indeed you have a girlfriend again after breaking up from Ricy's friend

kaka Axel?” ask Bilqis.

Tiara quiet. But, he gave an answer by shunning

her head.

“Then, who is the man you love?”

“Om Arnold's. He was the only one who understood me the most

all this time. But, my relationship was known to his wife, because she was afraid of his wife

angry and asking for divorce, he defends his wife more than me.”

Suddenly in Bilqis's mind came across a man who picked up Tiara a few months ago. The man also looked to be the same age as

papa's stepdad.

“what is your relationship with him until his wife gets angry and

threatening to divorce? Don't tell me you're dating someone's husband.”

“ya, I'm the same girlfriend as Arnold. I love her, and I

hurt because he would rather stay with his barren wife than me" Tiara said, crying sobbing.

Bilqis laughed in wonder. He looked at Tiara with a look of no

believing. He thought what Tiara said was just a joke.

“You're kidding. Don't imprank me,” said Bilqis still laughing.

“Then, if I was serious would you be disgusted with me.

With a little girl who loves a guy who even deserves to be her papa

alone.”

“No. Everyone has their own life story. Indeed

what do you like about grown men?”

“He is more understanding and unselfish. In addition to being

couples who can pamper me, from adult men I can also feel the father figure that makes me feel comfortable.”

Bilqis just smiled. He cannot judge his friend

even if what is done is wrong. But, if supported, the same

with him put his own friend into the abyss.

“You may someday find the figure of om Arnold in men

another single. Don't wife people.”

“Why? Apaah hurts and the child becomes a koban of

their problems? My mother was the victim.”

“You cursed the woman who took your father, didn't you? Then, then,

do you want to be cursed by the other women and the child you took her father? You don't know yet, what kind of reply the father and the destroyer woman got, so do you want to shit too?”

“I'm sorry, Bilqis. But, um Arnold is love

first me.”

“But, how can you girlfriendana with another man and

being weird to another guy?” It seems Bilqis still did not accept it when Tiara forced to ask for Axel's phone number and tried to tease him.

“Oh, the? in Medsos, I want to show you that I

dating a teenager the same age as me. Obviously I don't want anyone else to know that this Iki is an om-om stash. Sorry, if my fondness for Axel's brother makes you uncomfortable.”

“I didn't mind that. I thought you were the same as us. It turns out you are strange,” Bilqis said with a laugh.

“Hahaha. Yeah, not weird. But, I ya have to cover my identity as an om-om lover too, donk!”

“Alright, it's up to you. Hopefully, you've got a life

better than your life right now. Then, your mother was angry why?”

“Obviously, I can't give him much more money like

when I was with Arnold. Being a daily maid, one door is only three thousand per week. But I can do it up to three doors. Nine queens a week would be very less money to eat us if my mother

still likes liquor,” complained Tiara.

“I salute you, you're great.” Bilqis hugged Tiara. And

they were already able to return to normal, though, Tiara was not as happy as before. At least, the poor girl was already willing to be invited to share and for a moment put the problem. He also ate with Bilqis.

***

Because Al also has a schedule to go to Bandung approximately three

today, tonight Queen is also preparing clothes for her husband as well.

“Honey, you are three working days there, yes?” ask Queen

Al was busy with his leptop.

“No, I was there for just one working day. No need

prepare formal clothes, just casual clothes only.”

Queen looked at her husband who did not divert the slightest

his gaze on his leptp while smiling.

He felt so loved by the man.

work to Bandung. But what he prioritizes most is to take care of himself, and watch over him. Al is no longer as positive as he once was. But, his attitude that is not excessive makes Queen feel loved and love him more.

When all is done, the Queen approaches Al and

hugged him from behind. He put his leg on the man's neck with

spoiled.

“You have a lot of work, huh? I'm sleepy, here.”

Al touched one of the backs of Queen's hand that was on

his chest, then looked back and kissed the woman's cheek.

“Wait a minute, yes Darling.”

“AKu don't want to wait,” said Queen in a flat tone.

“Good.” Al grabbed his phone. He called Candra and

ask to complete something he just sent by email.

“Ndra. That pr you tonight should be done. That's the material for your percentage tomorrow too. Yes already. My baby is fussy” said Al as soon as his call was picked up.

“Good, Sir. I will work immediately,” said the man from

flip phone.

Al turns off the call and pulls Queen's arm

the woman sits in her lap.

“You're tomorrow to rsj Cimahi, right?” ask Al, even the man

knew it early before Queen told him.

“how do you know?”

“I asked Diaz.”

Queen laughed and Al carried her, carrying her

rest earlier than usual.

The next morning, Queen did not head to the hospital first.

Because he already knows, where the goal is. So, he went with Al.

“Rute how will this be?” Queen looked at the middle Al

put her and her husband's suitcase in the trunk of the car.

“I'll take you first. I met his client at noon

coke. About two.” half hour

“Good. So, you want to be my body guard today?”

“Iya, Mistress.”

The queen laughed. While traveling, Gea also joined

as well as with Queen to Bandung, make a video call.

“Who? Al asked as he glanced at his wife's touchscreen.

“Gea. I'll lift it up first, yeah?”

“Halo, Al Fatih's mistress,” said Gea so the face of the mother of two children

it was fixed on Queen's phone screen.

The Queen simply laughed as she covered her face with her hands

left, and pointing his phone to the side, at Al who was driving.

Al just smiled and teased Gea. “Where

your husband? Why doesn't he come with you, just keep working?”

“O, yes donk. For a piece of diamond and a mouthful of rice.”

“If the bin is stabbed people can be in a diamond taker, what? Hahaha.”

“Hey, my husband is not as crazy as you, huh?” both are equally

laughingly.

Even looks once, some doctors are behind and in

next to her, Gea seemed curious about Queen's husband.

“Dr.Queen is beautiful, naturally her husband is afraid to type. What is her husband

ugly?” ask one of the doctors in the car.

Some people answer not know, some answers can be, but, and some say very handsome.

After Gea and Queen close the call, they

curious about nanya.

“Ge, what's her husband Queen like? He said he was a businessman,

huh uh? Is he an old and bald om-om?’ Everything in the car

sniggering. Because, all this time Queen never upload photos of her husband in ig. Most yes photos of him, it was rare and his son. Clarisa and Berlyn. Evidently

not at the same time. Who doesn't know, yes the photo of his son in a different pose

just. Twins but apart.

“Later if lucky we can meet directly the same

her husband in front of the Cimahi mental hospital,” Gea replied.

“You don't have a picture, do you? You are very familiar with them

when there is no photo of her husband dr.Quen?”

“Yes, I never photographed it, let alone saved it

sneakily. Worry my husband ilfeel dong.”

Everything was broken too.

Queen and Al come first from their friends. Al

he decided to accompany him in the hospital park while waiting for his colleagues to arrive.

“Good yes, if the mental hospital, the place is spacious and beautiful. The inn makes it calm,” said Al after observing the environment

approximate.

Qeueen looked at her husband while laughing stifled. “you want

in care here?”

 “Ya, no, if

all public hospitals are also good. The patient is healing quickly,

spacious courtyard, garden and many shady trees grow here.”

“Ya expensive, darling. This is just what land is just a hectare?”

“Hey, you guys came early, huh?” sapa Gea got off the car.

Al whispered to Queen. Because they've come, I

go take care of my business, okay? Later in the night you won't have to sleep here. I'll pick you up, we'll just open a hotel room while walking.”

The Queen simply nodded her mark she agreed to the advice of Al.

The five of them approached the Queen and got acquainted

with Al.

“You're a matching couple, huh? Hopefully the connection

lasting.”

“His husband is young, huh? Bull again.”

Various compliments on Al were thrown from the doctors whose age

the same age as Mama Clara. The Queen and Gea are only the same age

be quiet, even if it occasionally steals a glance.

After Al left, they went straight to the meeting place

for in herbal medicine, this happens to be also lunch time. Some house servants

sick, then Lalang prepared food, fruit and some vegetables and side dishes for Queen, gea and some doctors from several major hospitals from Jakarta.

But, upon seeing one of the maids, Queen felt no

stranger to the woman. ‘Who, yes? I seem to know?’ inner Queen while continuing to remember.

At lunch Queen also can not focus because

his mind was fixed on the woman wearing a long plisket skirt suit

milk brown color and short sweatshirt white color. His hair was long tied to a ponytail.

After a meal, Queen and Gea toured the ward

the ward consisted of eight patients. The tenpatnya is also extensive. Ward each

have a living room for the family of visiting patients. On the left and

right of the living room there is a door, where the left is the patient's room and on the right is a room for doctors or nurses who served in the ward. When guarding the night of course.

Here Queen gets a lot of new lessons that make

he is much more shaved. Because in one ward only he found

eight people whose souls are sick due to the various pressures of life problems. Not from genes or congenital.

Some are not strong live poor because often bullied and

humiliatingly. This is one of the bad effects of bullying. Ordinary look

just, call people. But, behind all that, without us knowing what the feeling of the person in the bully is like? because, the mental person is different and not the same.

There is also a husband who likes cheating and he sees with

her own eyes her husband's sleeping

acolytes. And it was this patient who managed to attract the attention of Queen. He wanted to talk and give directions to her first.

Although he is not a psycholoq, trying to make way

best of all, opening your mind and expanding your heart can be, right? Although possible

the results are not as minimal as psychologists actually. Because, all this time he also likes to read books related to psychology.

"what's mom's name?" queen asked gently and kindly to the female patient who was about the same age as her.However, she looked older due to being dull and unkempt.

With a blank look, the woman answered her name Rani.

Getting a response from the patient, Queen started a small chat starting from how many months she was treated here and why from there Rani began to confide in Queen about her life which was quite painful.

"I'm not strong with this life it's very unfair" he said.

The woman began to tell stories, while Queen watched as she stroked the woman's hand that was on the table.

"What's the matter, Mom? Try my same story who knows we can both find the best solution for mother and also husband mother Is there a mother?"

The woman shook her head

"Status with the husband now how is the mother divorced or not?" queen asked softly in order not to be heard by other patients even though all patients here are not sane

"I still love him but he doesn't seem to love me anymore. I am also crazy like this. Obviously in would be disgusted and malucarena has a wife who's ever been into a mental institution."

Queen menghela napas. mungkin penjelasannya akan panjang.