My Boss, My (Ex) Boyfriend
106. I'm Afraid
Starting all over again I knew that my deepest heart wanted this too. I want to return to living peacefully with Davin like a warm and modest home 5 years ago. I did want those times but now the situation is different. Davin will definitely get into trouble if they get together again and I don't want Davin to suffer.
"Rein, let's start all over again." Bring Davin to me with the same tenderness.
I clenched both of his hands holding tight.
"I'm scared, Davin." I said admit it.
I felt a soft rub on my face. Both of Davin's big hands rubbed the tears that again I could not hold in front of him. There was no shame or shame in my feelings, only a sense of incompetence that had recently shackled my heart after knowing the truth.
I want however the situation of the two of them is not supportive to step together again.
"What are you afraid of?" Whispers wonder.
I bowed my head away from her, but her strong hand held my head against her. Staring at his sharp eyes directly under the darkness of the night.
Dear God, I would love to touch her face to quench the thirst in my heart that has been mounting for so many years.
"What are you afraid of, Rein?" He urged me again to answer his question immediately.
I bit my lower lip withstanding the pain.
"I've known everything, Davin, and I also know you've known this through Adit. 5 years ago we were separated because of your family's power and now the story won't be any different either. If you and I could do nothing then it makes no difference now, we still can't deal with power-"
"Rein, listen to me." Davin pressed my shoulder to listen to it but I was stubborn and my body was willing to obey.
Because what I feel is real and what I fear is real.
"And now there's Tio among us, Davin! I don't want him to be a victim! I don't want to"
"Then listen to me, Rein!" He cupped my face with both of his big hands.
We were so close now, her warm breath that smelled of mint leaves hit my skin. The look in his eyes was inversely proportional to the anxiety I felt because in fact Davin was very calm, he was so calm in the face of my fear.
He again wiped my face with his big palm, wiping away every tear I could no longer bear. What am I supposed to do? My little heart whispered.
Every time I get this tender attention my heart is made to waver. I want to grab it, though, clasping those warm big palms back but the pain of those difficult years seemed to be a protective alarm inside my head that the same pain or perhaps even more pain had been waiting we're both on the other end.
"I'm not as weak as 5 years ago, Rein. Right now I am much stronger than you imagined. I am Davin Demian, the sole heir of the Demian family. I am a sole heir and have held an important standing for the Demian family, I feel more capable than ever, therefore I have come to protect you and Tio. Since I am already more than strong then I came to want to bring you two back. I can compete with Grandpa with my head raised, I can fight for our happiness again."
Davin spoke decisively without any tone of arrogance. He has a high position, I know. He has been the sole heir of his family, he is the only person who has the right to occupy the high position of his family and I also know. It's just..I don't know if he's capable or not of going through it all?
I fear that painful suffering is repeated upon us.
"I love you so much, Rein." No, not Davin anymore!
It was the only word I didn't want to hear from you even though I knew the euphoria of happiness would fill my heart.
I can't keep it here. I wanted to leave, but Davin's strong hand now hugged me strong. His embrace was so warm on this cold night.
"I want to go home, Davin." My whisper wants to escape.
For my life, I don't know why I always feel that God is unfair. He found me with Davin, feeling the beauty of happiness but it did not last long because He also separated me from Davin. He separated me from Davin in a very painful way, without knowing any truth He dropped me into a cornered situation where the only thing I could do was hate Davin. Hating the only man I love in the world.
Oh God, how cruel you are.
"Can't, you're afraid of the dark and I won't let you go either." Davin's sad voice drew me back from the long daydreams of painful years.
Is it wrong to start all over again?
But if it doesn't, it still hurts and I don't know if Davin is capable of doing it - none of this can happen a second time!
"Davin," Call while releasing Davin's hands from my stomach.
"No, Rein." He refused firmly without waiting for me to continue my words.