My Boss, My (Ex) Boyfriend
23. Stop Blaming Yourself
"Rein, please stop."
Dimas suddenly felt back to that cold night. The night that Rein suddenly knocks on the door of his apartment with an oxtail bag already wet from the rain. Rein cried like this that night. He looks so pathetic, not even tonight.
"It's my fault, Dimas! I wish I had never been born into this world"
"Geez!" Shouted Dimas sadly.
He pulled Rein's shoulder to face him.
"Lo wants Dad for Tio? Fine Rein, let's get married. I can be a good father to Tio and a good husband to you. Do you want to be rich? I will work harder for you and Tio. If we need to sell all my heritage in the village so that Tio is not underestimated again the same them. I can do all that for you as long as you stop blaming yourself, Rein."
Dimas forced a smile on his tired face. He was tired from working overtime but even more tired of seeing his best friend slumped. He wants to see his best friend happy but it turns out his happy source is still not found.
"This is definitely not your fault, Rein. It's Davin's fault for leaving you with Tio. It's Davin's fault for not being able to keep a treasure as valuable as you. It's his fault and not your fault. So I beg you.." Dimas pleads for Rein to stop self-harming, self-blame, and start looking for happiness for himself.
"Stop blaming yourself let alone saying you're a disabled human being. We must know that we are created by God in the best possible form. Even if you are different from other humans it is not because you are flawed but because you were created special with God. He loves you, Rein. God has never left you and is always with you. So please, stop blaming yourself especially to drop yourself, this time you want to kabulin my request?"
Rein closed his eyes for a moment. He had stopped sobbing but his tears still did not stop coming out even though it was not as hard as before.
"Gue doesn't want to marry you, Dim." Rein said in a clear voice.
Dimas,"...." His mouth twitched wanting to curse but his clear consciousness increased if Rein was still in a state of neglect.
"It's okay, Rein, I appreciate your decision."
Rein's getting more involved, "Gue's also not willing to be Tio's father. Tio is more handsome than your face, Dim.".
In his heart Dimas prayed to God that his heart be stretched out to pass through Rein's poisonous mouth smoothly.
Dimas smiled forcefully,"Gue knew Tio was more handsome than my face."
"And.." Rein lowered his head staring at Tio's badly damaged robot-robottle toy beyond repair.
"Lo don't have to sell your legacy to me like Tio. Like you said God always has a way for me and Tio. So you don't have to worry about me being with Tio because there's a God who protects me."
Hearing this Dimas was instantly relieved. He was grateful that Rein still believed in God and did not blame God for everything that happened in his life.
Dimas suddenly felt that Rein was finally an adult.
"My worry is one of God's forms of protecting you, Rein." Said Dimas sincerely.
"Gue knows."
Rein wiped away the tears on his face. Take a deep breath before tidying up Tio's things.
"Lo don't eat, Dim?"
He changed the subject.
Dimas straightened his legs beside Rein. Sitting all day in front of the computer makes his hands and feet ache. Right now he had a lot of pretty serious thoughts regarding Rein.
"Rein, you start tomorrow better quit your job in my office."
"Stop working, you're not funny, Dim."
Dimas wasn't kidding, he was very serious.
"Stop working from my office. I think it's better to find a job somewhere else just so not in my office."
Rein could no longer take this as a joke since Dimas seemed to be very serious.
"Why am I ashamed that I work there?"
Rein origin speak.
"No, who says I'm ashamed! It has nothing to do with your accusations." Dimas immediately denied.
Rein then stopped his activities. He stood facing Dimas while shaking his waist.
"What is the reason I quit your company? And just this morning you said I could only work there." Rein wasn't angry, after all Dimas must have had a reason why he had to ask her to stop.
"Gue can't explain, but it's for your own good, Rein." Dimas looks riled up.