My Love Journey's
Broken Heart's.

...Author's POV....

Sitting in holding on to the security iron window of her room, Bianka was completely lost in her thoughts until she did not realize how beautiful the night sky was. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying too much and lack of sleep. Bianka couldn't remember the last time she slept well, but she didn't care.

He spent the past month pondering over everything that had happened in his life lately. The first day after Paul stepped out of his house, Bianka barely had the strength to get out of bed. He huddled there all day, motionless though the sky darkened, and continued for days.

He doesn't care about anything. Not to his family, to his friends, to the job he loved so much, not even to himself.

Bianka misses her boyfriend very much. His eyes, his laughter, his touch, his presence, and everything that Paul Klug has to do with.

Bianka wanted to believe that their relationship could work. He tried calling Paul, sending dozens of messages, and emails. He really hopes Paul has a little bit of strength to forgive and give him one more chance. But Paul never responded. Until the fifth week that was really torturous and through suffering from guilt and longing feelings, Bianka gave up and realized she had really lost her lover. Bianka was sure that not a word she said would bring Paul back to her.

His heart shattered into pieces, which may have now become a layer of dust. She never felt this destructive, not this bad even when Paul left her first. Paul's departure leaves nothing for him, the man seems to go while robbing everything that is on Bianka. He felt helpless. Spending the day from sleeping too much to not sleeping at all. His nights were spent with guilt and self-defeating, while his days were filled with tears.

At this moment, he felt his strength was already at the end of the journey. He just wanted to sleep and not wake up again.

Sleep for ever.

His eyes were directed at a bottle of sleeping medicine lying on the room table, next to the head of the bed. He had taken the pill every night before going to bed, then due to the absence of any noticeable drowsiness effect he felt, the dose had risen to two grains in the past two days. However, somehow, he remained unable to sleep for more than two hours, and this condition made him even more frustrated.

Slowly, exerting all his remaining energy, he galloped to the bed. It felt as if the pill bottle was waving to him.

Maybe I just need to drink three or four. Or, five will give the effect I want.

Sleep for ever...

His hand shakily grabbed the pill bottle, opened the lid, then peeked at the contents for a moment, then smiled bitterly.

Yeah! Five will work...

Suddenly and suddenly, his phone rang on the same table where the sleeping pill bottle had been located. Bianka glances at the phone screen; Panda. Franda Warner is the one person she least wants to meet right now. The woman called a few days ago and invited her to eat at her home before she and her family flew to Australia. Although Bianka desperately needed a little diversion, but she thought their family crowd would feel excessive.

Bianka kept looking at her phone until it stopped screaming. Then, she turned back to the pill bottle in her hand, but her phone rang once again, disturbing her peace. Panda won't stop calling, Bianka knows it. Bianka just needs to talk to him, then things are sorted out. Then, he could sleep quietly.

"Hi, Brother. How are you?" greet Bianka, trying to sound carefree.

"Hi, Honey. I'm fine, thank you. How's yours?"

"I'm good too."

"Dine. I suggest you come home today. I need to talk to you."

Bianka sighed, knowing where their chat destination was. "Oh, I don't think so..."

"Come here, Bianka. You're my brother, my family. Don't think I don't know how you're doing right now. I feel like we really should meet. Or, am I going to your house?" cetus Franda, cut his words.

Bianka was silent, closing her eyes that felt so poignant. Imagining his cousin's brother coming and finding his house unkempt, able to evoke fine feathers around his neck.

"Bianka's? Are you still there?"

"Yes, yeah, uhh... Okay. I'll get ready and get right there."

***

"Oh, I'm glad you finally showed up. I'm so worried about you" said Franda, relief radiating from her smile as she hugged Bianka.

They were sitting in the middle room of the Warner family's lavish butler. Bianka tried to hide her trembling hands on her sides. He had time to polish his face with makeup to look a bit more alive, but his fingers did not want to stop shaking. Perhaps it was better for him to stay home and ignore his cousin's request.

"I'm sorry I offended you, but you look like an undead. Oh, my God, your body is thin and your face is very pale. Sissy, you have to think about yourself. When was the last time you ate something?"

Bianka let out a bitter laugh. "Yesterday?" His voice sounded unsure.

"Don't mess with me, Bianka! When was the last time you ate?" ask her sister again, firmly.

"Two days ago... Might as well. I. I don't know, Panda."

"Oh, God! What the hell are you thinking? I'll get you something."

"Panda, no. You don't have to..."

Be late. Her sister had already disappeared behind the kitchen door. Franda returned a few minutes later with a bowl of soup and forced Bianka to eat at least half of it. When Bianka with great difficulty finally complied and managed to swallow half the bowl as instructed to her, Franda pulled Bianka into her room so that no one would disturb their chatter.

"This is the best place for you, Sissy. I don't care about your problems and Paul's, but I don't like to see you torture yourself like this. You can talk to me. What was? Tell me. I hate to see my sister so dazed." said Franda gently as she clasped Bianka's hands.

Bianka felt something break and her tears shed on her cheeks. "I... I'm tired, Panda. I just want to sleep. I'm so tired."

"Oh, honey..." Franda clenched her sister's body, rubbing her hair gently and repeatedly. "You have to let go of everything."

"I don't know how. I've ruined everything. It's my fault, I know. I caused this to happen. I'm really stupid."

"Listen to me, Bianka. Sean and I have been through exactly the same thing as you and Paul, just with different problems."

Bianka pulled away from her cousin sister, then looked at her with furrowed brows.

"It happened in the second year of our marriage, just before Lily was born. Sean hid all the information about my real mother, whose name is the same as yours. At that time I was really angry because I felt like I was being fooled, or at least that's what I thought. Long story short, you must have heard that my mental state used to be very worrying, and after my mother's drama unfolded, I just realized that Sean did it to protect me. She didn't want to make things worse because I was pregnant at the time. Any man wouldn't put up with my behavior then, Bianka. But Sean is different."

"How's...?"

"How do we stay together? Need process. One time, Sean was able to control himself and forgive me. But, the most important thing is that I am able to forgive myself. Sissy, I'm telling you this because you need to let go of all the guilt that's riding on your shoulders. Because without you knowing it, that burden will kill you slowly."

"I don't know how."

"Find the way out. Make an appointment with a therapist if you have to."

Bianka sighed deeply and asked, "With everything you and Sean have been through, do you think love alone is enough?"

"No." replied Franda without hesitation. "Love alone will not be enough. You have to keep your relationship. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or marriage. Fighting is common, but you have to be mature to understand and accept it. You should know what's best for you, for your partner. Whatever it is."

Bianka stared at her cousin's sister. "Do you think Paul and I still have a chance?"

Franda looked agitated, letting go of their hands and fixed his sitting position before clearing his throat. "I don't know. I can't possibly look at his head. But you need to prioritize yourself. Don't let anything destroy you. Even if he no longer wants to continue your relationship."

Bianka frowned, not fully understanding her brother's words, but she caught on as if the woman before her knew something. From the way she sat down restlessly, refusing to look directly at him, Bianka thought there must be something she didn't know.

"What's wrong?" tanyanya, beware.

Franda took a breath, closed for a moment. "Oh my God, how am I supposed to convey this" he said, who knows. "Sissy, Paul..."

"What's up, Panda?! You're scaring me."

"He's going back to Germany."