My Love Journey's
Deja Vu

I received a reply from Paul at four o'clock in the afternoon on the same day. It's Saturday, I've been working since morning and I've finished my work hours. I am currently working on some tasks from Dr. Grey's in my house.

From: Paul: What do you mean?

To: Paul: My student loan. I know you paid for it, Paul.

From: Paul: Oh, yes. I did.

To: Paul: Why, Paul? You clearly know that I never liked you spending your money on me, and I've worked hard all this time to pay it off because it's MY RESPONSIBILITY. You have absolutely no right to interfere in my affairs, Paul!

There was no reply from him even though he had read my message, then I sent him another message.

To: Paul: Don't try to play with me. Now, I'm asking you to pull it back.

From: Paul: What's interesting?

To: Paul: Your money, asshole! Quickly call the bank and tell them you paid the wrong way. Wrong name, or whatever...

From: Paul: Do you think they'd believe me if I said I had paid the student loan and then suddenly realized that I wasn't a student with a loan?

To: Paul: Paul, don't mess with me. This is not at all FUNNY. I don't want to owe you. Please get everything done today.

From: Paul: I never said you owe me, Bianka. Think of it as a payment because I've messed up your life.

To: Paul: I'll call the bank. They'll take care of it. Thank you for making my life even more chaotic!

I switched to calling the bank that gave me a student loan, trying to have a discussion with a friendly woman I guessed was in her thirties, but ended up with nothing. He said my loan was paid off and there was nothing more that could be done to recant the payment.

With a furious rage, I sent a message to Stacey.

To: Stacey: Call everybody because we're going to the club tonight.

***

"Hey, relax, I'm fine." I chuckle. "I'll go order an extra drink. Remember, don't go down to the dance floor before I get back" I joked threatening Stacey, Elise, Camille, and Valerie.

"I'm coming along" said Red offering himself up as he stood up. The sound of music echoing throughout the room and the alcohol content that had gone into my blood made me a little more calm and relaxed.

I walked sneaking amongst the human crowd that was inside the club. I wore black jeans and a tight top of the same color and high heels. I also put on my makeup as best I can for tonight because I'm really angry, and want to vent my frustration by doing whatever I want.

I propped up both hands on the bartender's desk while Red stood beside me. We waited for the bartender to look at us.

"It's gonna be a long time." Red groaned, and I laughed. "Sir, we need a drink!"

"Bianka?"

Like deja vu, a hoarse and heavy voice hit my ears, just like the last time I was at this club. But this time I barely dropped my phone and credit card after hearing his voice.

My laughter stopped and I looked to the side. He looks very handsome. Goddamnit!

"What are you doing here, Bianka?" paul asked in a louder voice to overcome the music thump, then he glanced at Red at a glance.

"Waiting for the bartender to notice my presence." I replied, returning to look at the bartender who was mixing drinks.

I could feel her gaze fixed on me, making my skin hit by an unfamiliar yet seductive heat. My heart was pounding as his voice sounded again. "You're drunk. I'll have Albert drive you home." he muttered, touching my back.

"You know it's a form of sexual crime if I don't let you, right?" I looked at him while raising my eyebrows high. "And so, I'm not drunk. At least not yet."

Paul quickly pulled his hand from my back and apologized. "I'm sorry." Sadness clearly sounded in his tone.

"What do you need, Klug?" asked the bartender who had just arrived before us, saying almost the same sentence as last time.

Paul's attention was on him. "Three Coronas," he said as I looked at his face from the side, feeling dizzy as he looked so handsome. "How many Malibu Cocktails do you need, Rapunzel?"

Just hearing the stupid nickname he always spoke to me, made all the sadness I felt increase.

"Huh?"

"How many Malibu Cocktails do you want?" he repeated while giving me a sweet smile.

"Oh, six." I muttered to the bartender, who then nodded and hurriedly prepared my order.

"Yes." replied Red to me enthusiastically. "You know, it's girls' night."

"Ah," Paul nodded his head. "Looks fun. Is Valerie here too?"

"Yep." replied Red while I turned to face Paul.

He nodded, not daring to look at me. "Good then." She knew very well that Valerie could be a mother among us. She knew Valerie couldn't possibly let me be in trouble. Paul is still thinking about me, of course.

I smiled knotingly, extending a hand to his hard and large arm to attract his attention. "Do you remember the last time we were here?" my many. I don't know why, but I feel like I want to keep talking to him. Is it because I'm a little drunk?

"Yes, I remember."

"Do you feel like we're in a transitional period right now?" I took my hand from him. "You know, we've closed all the way back, right?"

Paul looked me into my eyes. "You think so?"

"Yes. Not my will, but nature really works in mysterious ways."

Paul chuckles. "Yes, it is." She squeezed my hand as I was about to lower it.

"I love your current hairstyle." I muttered to her as I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb.

God, I really miss him. There was a time when I was thinking about getting back with Paul, but I soon realized once we fixed what had broken and tried to live it quietly, I know there won't be an easy way out if one day our relationship comes back in trouble.

Paul smiled. "really? But, I didn't do anything with my hair, love."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, you look cool."

As if deliberately avoiding my gaze, Paul continued to cast his gaze away from me. He looked at the bartender. I knew she was fighting against her own desire to come back with me, and I was sure she was severely tormented. So why did he greet me? Wouldn't it be better for her to wait until Red and I get our drinks and then rejoin the others, so she doesn't talk to me like now.

"Do you want to accompany me on the dance floor?" my question was to tighten my grip to attract his attention.

"Are you going to exchange clothes with someone again?" reply asked.

It took me a few seconds to realize the meaning of the sentence. As the memory of that day flashed through my head, I laughed as I leaned towards it.

For a moment I felt like everything was so normal, like our relationship was still well-established and it didn't look like we had lost everything. "will not. I promise." I said.

"Other times, huh?" He's as smooth as possible. "Will you help me, Bianka?"

"Depends on what you need."

My attention was entirely on Paul. I even forgot Red who was currently standing behind me while Paul called out to the bartender.

"Give me a glass of water, without ice." he muttered, the bartender nodded obediently.

It didn't take long, a glass of water landing on the counter, Paul pushed it straight at me. "Drink..."

"What?" His speech sank between the thumping sounds of music.

"Drink this, Bianka. You need it."

There is no point in refusing. I will always lose if I argue with him. So, I grabbed the glass and finished it in one gulp.

"Good." he said as I placed the empty glass on the counter. "Tell me if you need it again, okay?"

She looked at me in a way that made me crazy about her, as if I was the only thing that was most precious to her, yet I was so far from her reach.

"Okay, thank you. No need to worry about me, I'll be fine."

then the order arrived in front of us, and just before Paul left I asked one question that kept haunting me to this very moment. "Why did you leave me that day?"

He breathed while turning his face. "This is not the right place and time to discuss the matter, Bianka. Your life must be a lot better now, right?"

"Why are you so selfish, Paul? You think what you're doing is the right thing, but it's not. I'm sure we can talk about it carefully, not by leaving me like that, as if you knew what I wanted even though in the end it was just your guess. I wish you could act more mature."

"Come on, Bianka." Red called me right after I finished my sentence. I turned my head and nodded at him, then I felt Paul take his hand off me and when I returned my gaze, he was gone.