My Love Journey's
Heart To Heart's

"People hate me, Paul. They didn't hesitate to send me messages of insults and insults..." I exhaled heavily, closed my eyes and clamped my nose with two fingers.

We were sitting on the sofa of his house accompanied by a bottle of wine that had been opened on a glass table. I leaned my elbow against my knee while holding a glass of wine with one hand.

"I know, love, but not everyone hates you. There are still many people who praise you and support our relationship." she replied, calming me down while rubbing my back.

"No, that's not what I meant. When you announced our relationship, people started saying that my presence would ruin your career. And also, judging by my looks, it's obvious you just want to sleep with me," I said. "Even when your picture and Stefanie Giesinger's started circulating, they believed that our relationship was over and that you had moved on to someone else, but still they hated me. I don't know why, and I'm not interrupting their lives."

"You can't make everyone happy, Bianka. They will always have negative things to say because of their excessive feelings of jealousy." he murmured, trying carefully not to make me more angry. "Did you know Stefanie feels the same way? Just because one of our photos was scattered everywhere?"

"I don't know," I said slowly, realizing that all I thought about was bad things that happened to me, not good things, while the same thing happened to other people.

"Please don't read their comments. I don't want them messing up what we have."

"You're very serious about me." I smiled, opened my eyes and turned my head to face him.

"Yes, of course." He admitted while raising his shoulders.

Paul placed his hand on the back of the sofa and shifted his body towards me. She had taken a shower as soon as we arrived, looking fresher wearing long sweatpants and a hoodie.

"Why are you so aggressive?" I decided to ask him this. I finished the wine and sat facing him while folding my legs. I started getting a little drunk because I haven't eaten anything since noon.

Paul raised both eyebrows. "Aggressive?"

"Yes, during the game." I said. "You look like you're angry."

"Indeed," the sambar was quick. His eyes made me feel hot. Well, you guys understand what I mean. "Just before we took to the field, I heard about the scandal that you and Travis were together on Twitter. Of course, I know it's not a scandal..."

"Me and Travis are just watching your game. You yourself know there is nothing special between us." I said reminding him.

"Yes, but I hate the thought of him being close to you, while you're silencing me."

"really? Mentally or physically?" I raised an eyebrow, a thin grin sticking out at the corner of my lips.

I was about to refill my glass, but the touch of Paul's hand on my thigh made me undo that intention and look at him.

"I think there's enough wine for you tonight, Rapunzel."

"Oh, please..." I chuckled, rolling my eyeballs. "Another eleventh. I'll be fun when I'm drunk."

"I think you're more fun when you're fully conscious" she replied as I poured wine into my glass. I sip wine while Paul clears. "Motionally."

"Motionally?"

One heavy breath came back out from the sidelines of my mouth. I wanted my relationship with Paul to go well, but it hurt. I wanted it, but it was even more painful because everything wasn't as easy as I imagined.

"I don't know how to say it" He laughed, but not a happy laugh, then he lowered his head. "I like you. I never planned it, or expected to have this strong feeling for you, and now I sound like you..."

I pushed my body towards him, one of my hands resting on his shoulder and quickly kissed his lips.

"Damn it, shit," As fast as lightning he pulled away from me. "Vinka..."

I followed the direction of his lowered gaze staring at the front of his hoodie. A soft 'Oh' mutter sounded from my mouth when I realized I had just spilled wine there. Well, it was an accident. "I'm sorry, I..."

He chuckled while grinning flirtatiously. "No problem. Next time, just tell me you want me to take my shirt off. It doesn't have to be like this."

I laughed while patting his chest softly. I took another sip of my wine before putting the glass on the table in front of us. Paul did the same, then leaned his back.

Then I inched closer to her and gently cupped her jaw with both of my hands. I kissed him, grinning happily between our kisses as I felt Paul smile. There was a kind of weird, but familiar sting that I felt every time I kissed him, and I knew only Paul could give me that feeling.

"I know this is going to sound like I'm selfish" I muttered in front of his mouth, quoting his line. "But, I don't want to think you're with another woman besides myself. Sorry if I bore you, I'm just not used to everything that's happened lately."

"No problem, Bianka. You'll adapt soon." It was Paul's turn to kiss me.

It's freaky. Really weird. I don't understand why it's so hard to get away from him, he seems to have a very strong magnet pulling at me. I can't avoid how hard I tried to get away from him. Paul wasn't the first man I'd ever been close to, there were quite a few people in the past, but none of them gave me this kind of pull as strong and hard as this one, he said, I feel like I'm willing to give myself up to him.

"May I ask you something?" he said after our kiss came off. His face looked serious.

"What?"

"Why do you rarely speak German? Don't tell me you can't."

Too sensitive, Paul.

I sighed, heavier than before. The question made me think of my mother who now, somewhere, almost ten years later, I never saw her again. "I'm more used to English. My mom and dad got married here, but because of something my dad said about my mom's past, we moved to Canada when I was a year old. And that's where my mother left us, but my father once told me he was back in Germany. We were going to find him and follow him here when I was ten. But so far we haven't succeeded."

"Since childhood, they taught me many languages, including my mother tongue. But the most inherent are only two, English and Indonesian. And at home we've always spoken those two languages, up until now."

"You're lucky I speak English" murmured Paul bragging.

I cringe while smiling. "You forgot where I work? They can't accept me if I don't speak German, Paul."

"Ah, you're right" he said, before kissing me again.