My Love Journey's
About The Future's.

"So, is there any chance that a junior Klug will be born before or after the wedding?" Paul's mother asked and sipped tea while looking at us with a happy look.

I lowered my head while chuckling subtly while Paul sighed heavily. "Mom, please... We haven't thought in that direction at all..."

"When are you getting married?" ask again, which this time began to make me feel uncomfortable. I hugged Paul's arm indicating that I was in need of diversion.

I knew her mother would ask about marriage one day, but still, it felt too soon for me to continue a relationship that I thought was still gray.

We had finished dinner with the menu Paul had prepared, and were now chatting over tea in the living room before going up to the room for a break.

"We haven't discussed that either." murmured Paul to me.

Paul and I both didn't want to rush things, we were quite happy with the engagement that happened between some of the issues that were present lately, especially about distance. Planning for the future will present other challenges and a long discussion of some matters relating to principles.

"I want to get married in the spring" I said, smiling at her mother.

"Oh, the timing is right! I'll help you choose the right dress" she suggested, making my smile even wider.

"Uhm, I'd rather we have it in the summer." said Paul, drawing my attention.

"But spring weather is better." His mother chimed in, "Imagine how Bianka would look so awesome among the green of the trees..."

A meaningful smile flung at the corner of Paul's lips. "Ah, Bianka always looks awesome. The weather changes have absolutely no effect on him, mom."

"Well, we can talk about it another time. After all, it's still from the plan." I said trying to end it firmly.

"Well, why did you say you were far from the plan?" Paul's brows furrowed as I looked at him.

"Oh, I just... I mean, you're still here until next year, right?" hisisku. "And I also want to finish my master's degree..."

"Oh my God, that means two more years, Bianka" Paul said, clearly we have a different view of the future. I want to relax while Paul is impatient. "I don't want to wait that long."

"Paul, there's no way I'm going to continue my studies after we get married, I'm going to have the hassles of dividing my time. Now you've seen how hard it is for us to meet." I shook my head. "But, we'll talk about it again later."

Paul seemed to disagree with my idea, but he did not say anything because his mother was sitting with us with a curious look clearly drawn on his face. "Then, what about the child? A boy or a girl?" he asked, deliberately changing the subject.

"Male." said Paul proudly. "I'll teach him to kick a ball before he can even walk."

I'm really in the most uncomfortable position right now even though it feels a bit calming knowing Paul is already thinking about our future that far. I quietly pulled my hand from his arm and cleared my throat. "I'm still sticking with the plan to adopt a child." I muttered to his mother. "No matter what gender she is, as long as she can get a decent home."

From the end of my eyes, I could feel Paul staring intently at me, but I let it be that I didn't want to make a mess of this annoying moment. He had already said his wish about having a son while we were staying at my father's house. Right now I'm very disturbed by his habit of controlling me even though I actually know the reason for doing that.

From the beginning of our meeting Paul has shown his controlling attitude, sometimes I can compensate for it, but now it feels a little harder considering we live in two different places and I don't have a chance to calm him down when he's angry or upset about something.

"It must be a man." murmured Paul firmly, making me take a deep breath in response to the stance of his stone head.

I know very well how he feels at the moment because I feel the same way, but that cannot justify his attitude at all. I never made control a strong self-defense mechanism like Paul, because I realized it would only make things worse.

"Hm, we'll see." I said, then smiled at his mother. "It's still too soon to discuss in that direction."

***

"What the fuck?" paul snorted as soon as he closed the door to the room behind us.

I closed my eyes while taking a deep breath, standing on my back in front of one corner of the wall made of glass. For some reason, I felt like he was asking the same thing, but I knew it wasn't. I'm tired of having to fight with him because it's the first time we've met in a month.

"Bianka, do you hear me?" I flinched as he suddenly grabbed my wrist and forced me to turn to face him.

"We'd better get some sleep, Paul. I'm tired." I said, smiling thinly and releasing his clutches. "Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Yes, I mind." His gaze grew sharp and deadly, making me sick. "Why don't you want to discuss the future with me? Don't you want that?"

"Paul, relax..."

"Don't tell me to calm down, sem..."

"Are you serious? Two more years, Bianka? Oh my God, it's too long." He shook his head in despair. "I couldn't wait that long. After all, I don't have to go back to Germany to get married and have children with you. We can do it here."

"All right, now I know. You've planned everything to make you feel calmer, right? Is it because you're afraid I'm leaving you?" Paul's expression instantly softened, as if surprised I could read his thoughts.

"I want you to be my wife. I want to have a child with you. Is that wrong, Bianka?" ask her in a frustrated tone.

I took a deep breath again, hoping that she could use her common sense a little to realize that her behavior was too much. "No, Paul, you're not wrong, but you need to think about what I want. You're in too much of a hurry. I know your feelings will be calmer if we plan everything carefully, but that's not how it works. We've been through it, remember?"

"Vinka..."

"I flew all the way from Germany to enjoy some time with you for a while. Do you want to spend it arguing all night?" ketusku while raising both eyebrows high.

Paul massaged his nose and exhaled a rough breath while I continued. "I want to take a shower now." I said then kissed her cheek at a glance and stepped towards the bathroom.

I spent twenty minutes in the bathroom trying to calm down and give Paul time to get his mind back. Without him being so hard though, I understood how difficult our current situation was, but he chose the wrong way out, which in the end made me feel even more depressed. I didn't want her to worry or doubt about our relationship at all while I tried desperately to think realistically.

"Paul, listen." I said so out of the bathroom, but then fell silent when I realized he wasn't in the room. "Ah," I exhaled heavily while looking around the empty room.

Not wanting to disturb the calm I had just felt, I decided to go to bed first and wished for her to return as soon as possible. I put on her hoodie and slipped under the blanket. With my hands hugging the pillow full of her scent, I closed my eyes.

Just as I was about to fall asleep from exhaustion, my ears faintly caught the sound of the door opening, perhaps about ten or fifteen minutes had passed since I lay myself under the blanket comfortably. Then I heard the door closed and locked, and the side of the bed next to me moved and Paul slipped into the blanket.

My heart rate increased slightly when I realized he was just lying on his back beside me, most likely thinking. I didn't want him to think too much about everything because I knew how exhausting it was based on personal experience.

"Are you still awake?" her voice was soft and calm.

"Yes" I said without turning my body to face him.

Paul shifted closer until his arm came into contact with my back. "I'm sorry, Bianka." he muttered, sounding earnestly. His hand slid to my waist under the blanket.

I felt his hot breath sweep through my neck, then I turned my body to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"Forget it." I'm afraid. "I know what you're thinking, just don't push me like that, Paul. I don't like."

"Nobody likes this situation, Bianka..."

"Yes, I know. But you can't force anything on me. We can talk about marriage or children after your contract with Real Madrid ends... Eleven months of songs, Paul. You said you wouldn't be that long, did you?"

Paul breathed a heavy breath. "I admit wrong. I felt like a fool and could not think clearly. Almost every day I'm afraid you'll meet someone while I'm stuck here without knowing what to do."

"That's not gonna happen, Paul. I love you, and my feelings can't be easily lost just because of the distance between us." I said. "We're still fine today and it will continue like this if we can follow the current well, okay?"

Paul nodded in understanding. "Okay, okay. So, have we made up?"

"Yes, of course." a subtle laugh came out of my mouth, making Paul smile for the first time after a rather heated debate that began in the living room.

"Good."

"So, are you just gonna watch me sleep?" my question flirtatiously teased him, and he chuckled while shaking his head.

"Can't I watch you sleep?" His eyebrows lifted a little.

"No." I said, then laughed. "That's not what I was expecting to happen while I was alone with you..."

"Oh, wow..." Paul grinned mischievously, and my heart was filled at his improved mood. "I'll do anything for you, love. You just need to say it clearly. So, what do you want, bad girl?"

I put my face forward and whispered something in his ear. Two seconds later, Paul's countenance showed an unflattered look of surprise. "Bianka... Should I get you, huh? You're flirty!"

I puckered my nose while raising my shoulders. "Eitherway. Maybe, uhm..." Slowly spread her hands to her chest and slowly down to her stomach until she stopped on the part between her thighs. Paul growled as I suddenly squeezed his manhood. "I miss him, Paul." I sighed, and kissed his lips greedily.

"Ah, with pleasure, love."