My Love Journey's
Betrayed.

The week I spent was gripping and painful. I haven't been back to Paul's house and I'm still staying in my old house, until this morning I was forced to leave because I had a schedule with my obstetrician. Paul did not contact me during that time and vice versa.

After reading all the news that was scattered in the media, I could understand why he was so angry. The impact of Louis's actions was terrible, just as Paul had said. He has to deal with the police, the club is closed, and his football club asks him to 'break' while focusing on taking care of his problems. Of course this drives him crazy. I don't blame her reaction, she should be angry.

But, the one thing that made me unhappy was that he vented his frustration by bringing up something that didn't make sense. He knew I was always trying to avoid the news, especially related to him. Until now, even though we have been married and everyone already knows it, it seems that it has not been a hindrance for journalists to write articles about her closeness to some women. This is, of course, something I don't want to know, and I'm doing my best to keep us from fighting by staying away from the source. And, he blames me for that?

I took a few breaths, got out of the car and saw Alfred talking to Pablo in the garage. "Is Paul inside?" ask them.

Pablo and glanced at each other, looking nervous. "Yes, ma'am" said Pablo. "But..."

"Okay. Thank you." Thank you." I stepped inside the house and left them without any intention of hearing more.

Walking through the living room, I glanced at Paul's closed office door, so I decided to go straight to the room. And I was struck by the most terrible sight I've ever witnessed in my entire life. It's worse than seeing my mother leave me.

I can't breathe. My eyes looked back and forth at the two people on the bed who were surprised to see me. My husband and a woman. A kiss?

I blinked. Closing my eyes and shaking my head many times, trying to deny my vision and hoping that the scene would change when I opened the mat. But I heard Paul's voice say my name, followed by a woman's voice.

A cold, nauseous murmur gripped my stomach and my head felt swirling as I leaned against the door. "Please, God, this is just a dream." I trembled.

"Bianca,"

I took a breath, opened my eyes and uttered the words that first flashed through my mind. "Oh, that's great!" With trembling lips, I tried to look at her.

Then I saw the woman. Guilt flooded his brown eyes and I felt my anger soaring to frightening heights. Contrary to my estimation, she ran over to me, her gaze begging.

"You should know, Mrs. Clug. I wasn't..." I cut him off by slamming his head into the door behind me and clutching his neck, my nails stuck in his skin.

"I don't have to know anything. All I know is that it takes two assholes to cheat. Not just one. You're here as guilty as my husband." I said with disdain. "You know exactly what you're doing when you decide to get into bed with someone who's married. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you have any morals?" I asked with anger that I could not hold back well, everything just burst out from every pore in my body.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off once more. "I don't want to hear a single thing you want to say. Please, help me by getting out of my house right now." I hissed before releasing the grip on his neck.

"Bianka, please..." Paul begged and grabbed my hand. With a rough move I brushed it off.

"No. Not now, Paul. My heart hurts too much to hear you try and say nonsense to justify your unforgivable behavior. I'll pack my things and go." I cursed the vibrations that accompanied my voice, unable to hold on anymore because his once soothing hoarse voice now enveloped my body, making it difficult for me to catch my breath. I have to be strong for myself. And, for my son.

"Nothing to explain!" I sprayed and shouted as I could. My voice was hoarse as it held back the tears that begged to be shed immediately. As I looked into his eyes, I could hear the deafening crack of my heart that was now completely broken.

The lipstick stain was smeared on the collar of his shirt and his hair was completely messy. I couldn't bear the sobs that stifled my chest. My heart was broken to pieces

He used my moment of weakness to his advantage and pulled me to his chest with his muscular arms. I refused, kicked, screamed, and hit his chest over and over again. Yelling obscenities at him while continuing my punch. My body sagged after a while and I only received the comfort he gave me.

I hate this. After what I had just witnessed, and after all the tears I had shed, her embrace and scent still managed to calm me down.

"Love.." she said, her voice trembling withholding tears. My anger exploded again.

"No! You don't deserve to be sad! You're the one who caused all this. You must not be sad, angry, or feel anything other than guilt and shame. And, don't touch me!" Grunts me, take his hand off me. "I won't forgive you until anytime. We're done. I'll find a way to tell my son about you." I muttered desperately.

"Alright, if that's what you want." he said, the fragility in his voice did not match his harsh attitude.

"That's what I want." I whispered, lying.

The sound of the door closing tightly, though not being slammed violently, resonated in the void of my room. The vibrations threw me to the floor. When my eyes began to twitch, I realized what had just happened.

How ironic. I didn't realize Paul's betrayal, even just a month older than our marriage. What makes me sicker is why he didn't do it sooner, or why didn't I know about it before we got married?

Why am I so stupid that I can't see a single sign of this betrayal?

This can't be my life. This kind of event is impossible for a woman like me. I'm smart, successful, and always try to do what's best for everyone, not the grumpy, hard-to-satisfy type. Paul never lacked good listeners or thoughtful advice or passionate bedding activities.

I kept on wearing seductive underwear, always giving her freedom happily and without being asked. I never humbled him, or sneered at him, or laughed at his weakness. I always respected him.

We often discussed and regretted the couples we heard were divorced because of infidelity. We agree that either one of them is too jerky and selfish to be in control, or too dominant. We were always surprised because the wife rarely realized what was happening. How could she not suspect her husband? Dumfound.

All of this was absurd, and for God's sake, I was completely unable to find a reason why I had come to the point of not realizing that I was losing Paul.

With the heartache I tried to swallow, I wiped my tears and got up and pulled out my precious letters from the closet, put them in my backpack and walked out of the room.