My Love Journey's
Try, At Least

My heart is still claustrophobic considering every word Paul said while we were in the living room. I was crying like crazy in the bathroom, and I thought I could let go of my crying there and come out feeling relieved, but it wasn't. I kept crying until I went back to my room.

Paul tried all sorts of ways to calm me down. He hugged me, kissed me, seduced me with food, even uttered strange sentences that eventually managed to make me giggle amusedly between sobs.

"You're asleep, love?" his voice was so soft, as gentle as the rubbing of his hands in my hair. I curled up in her arms, enjoying the darkness that enveloped us.

"No," I said in a hoarse voice from crying for hours. "I can't sleep."

Too many things were running around in my head right now, making me unable to close my eyes for even a minute. I'm gonna lose Paul, right when he just proposed to me. If I recall what I went through with him, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle this kind of painful breakup.

"Me too" he said, then cleared his throat. I shifted my head up to the hitchhike on his chest and curled up like a baby while hearing his regular heartbeat.

Luckily, there's nothing I should be ashamed of tomorrow other than rereading some of the books Dr. Stanley, but I think it's hard to do.

"Oh, I have an idea.."

"Dear, Paul... Me, I don't want to talk about anything right now." I'm sharp.

"Not that, love." Suddenly he lifted up his body and sat down, which then also made me sit down.

In the darkness of the room room, I stared into her marvelous eyes as if she could drown me into her at any moment.

"Let's go for a walk." Paul gave me one smile, I frowned.

"What time is this?"

He grabbed his phone from the table, and when the screen lit up, I could see his face more clearly. "Four in the morning."

"Where do you want to go on a walk in the morning blind like this?" A subtle laugh rang out from my mouth, then it affected Paul's sudden change in expression a little brighter.

He looked at me with a smile. "There's something I want to do. Trust me, you'll love it." Then she brushed aside the distance and kissed my lips while her hand rested on the bed.

Immediately I returned the kiss, raising both hands squeezing his thick black hair. After a while of enjoying an intimate moment that seemed like it was about to disappear in a moment, Paul pulled away and led me to the dressing room in his room.

I wore my jogger suit and my light blue sweater, while Paul also wore a similar suit, but it was black. So sure I was ready even with my eyes as if stung by a bee from crying all night, Paul took me down to his garage.

"Which one do you wear?"

I was flabbergasted at the amazing sight before me, I had never seen a garage this big in my life, filled with some kind of luxury car collection. I can recognize some of them, but others are completely unexpected. He must have a money-making machine in his house so he could have dozens of luxury car collections.

"Where is the fastest?" I looked at Paul who was now looking at me with a deadly smile.

Both of his eyebrows raised slightly. "You sure you can control yourself? I've got some pretty high-speed ones..."

I put my shoulders down. "Don't underestimate me. I want something that can make me fly."

Paul let out one amused laugh before nodding his head and asking me to follow him. I comply. We walked past some cars that were not all sports cars, there was also an ordinary car that seemed to be a classic car, until he stopped next to a shiny black sports car. Lamborghini Aventador!!!

Paul opened the passenger door for me. "Please come in, Rapunzel."

"Hm, preferential treatment, yes. I like that." I smiled, appreciating his efforts that wanted to make me forget about our troubles for a while. Before getting into the car, I cupped her face and placed a deep kiss on her lips. "I love you. Love you so much." I put it in his mouth.

"I love you too, Bianka."

We got into the car and Paul drove straight to the highway. For a moment, I was able to shake off any worries that ran through my head and enjoy the thrilling moment with him.

"Woooooo!" I cried while laughing when Paul stepped on the gas pedal strongly, immediately making the car we were riding in seemed to really fly into the air.

We traversed the wide, empty streets with our eyes looking alertly at the side of the road, lest we be caught by surveillance cameras. Paul really showed me how to enjoy life, especially right now, and I'm very grateful for that.

Oh, one more... He also turned Coldplay around to maximize my persuasion efforts, and of course it worked. Paul knew what I liked and was happy to give it all to me. A small form of attention is sometimes much more meaningful than fantastic valuables.

"Do you enjoy it, love." she asked with a grin, looking at me for a glance.

"of course. It's amazing!" sahutku. "Why haven't you ever taken me on a Lambo before?"

He slid his hand to my thigh, slowly slowed down the speed of the car and stopped at a small park by the road. My heart was beating fast, and adrenaline was rushing all over my body.

"You're so beautiful, Bianka." she softly pampered my ears with her hoarse voice. "I think I should take you on Lambo more often, hm?"

I laughed as I elbowed his arm, then I felt his gaze suddenly strange, as if he were trying to enjoy this moment just in case this was the last chance for him to watch me laugh.

I cleared my throat once, "I think we've awakened half of Berlin's inhabitants." I muttered without taking my eyes off him.

"Yes, I think so too." He shrugged his shoulders while grinning. "Let's go down and watch the sun rise."

At first I felt doubt because this park is a public space located in the middle of the city, and it is not impossible that people will soon roam around here. Now I've seen some of them running past us, even though the clock still shows the number five in the morning. Paul and I both covered their heads with hoodies and walked slowly.

Then we stopped when we found a wooden chair and decided to sit there until the sun began to rise. I poked my leg over her thigh while her hand hugged my shoulder.

"Don't you feel like we're homeless?" I asked, smiling amusedly at myself.

"No, forget it." I refused. "You forgot the last thing we did? I almost went to the hospital!"

I deliberately overestimated to give Paul a little solace. And, it worked. She laughs.

"You're just a scuff, Bianka. You know, actually that day I was crazy about you, we didn't know each other, but somehow your attraction was so strong it hit me."

"And I was so scared that it felt like I was going crazy back then, I didn't like getting too much attention" my laughter slipped as my mind re-emerged in the early days of our getting to know each other. "You remember? You once said you were lonely, and I thought it was just an excuse you made up to get close to me."

He laughed again, then shook his head. His embrace felt a little stronger as he kissed my head.

"Are you still lonely?" tanyaku slowly, directing his hand to his thigh.

"No. I mean, right now a lot of people are trying to show concern since my name came up on Fifa's best players board, and I have amazing friends, I just, you must understand." his snoring explained in a slow voice so as not to be heard by others. "I feel like my world has changed since I met you, Bianka."

Feeling touched by her last sentence, I moved my face to kiss her cheek. He smiled and placed his free hand on my knee.

"Paul?"

"Yes?"

"I'm a little anxious thinking about everything... About the possibility that you're going to Spain while I'm staying here, plus after that there's a lot of gossip about you going around, and..."

"You certainly know, I can't betray you, love." he muttered, reminding me, and I sighed.

"Yes, I know, but we also know, sometimes gossip can look very convincing if it is accompanied by photos and such. I can't possibly handle that alone. We can't continue this. Please, understand what..."

"I get it, Bianka. But, at least we can try, right?" He held his sitting position. "I mean, long distance relationship."

I exhaled a trembling breath while my shoulders relaxed.

"I'll call and text you every day, okay?" again, trying to persuade me. "I know it's not easy, especially for you because you must be very depressed if you read the news about me..."

"I'm afraid rumors will make me forget the good things that happened between us, Paul. You're far from my reach, and how can I trust you while we're together so much trouble happens.

Paul shook his head hard. "Love, listen... That won't happen again. I'll come back here as often as I can and you can stay in my house as long as you want, you have the key, right?"

"Yes..."

"And you can also visit me every holiday. Trust me, it's not as bad as you imagine, love." He smiled to calm me down.

Just like that, my confidence flowed. Paul's last sentence actually slapped me. Yeah, I think we deserved to try it. Regardless of the outcome, we have at least made our best efforts.

"Alright, come on. We both struggle with this." I murmured without hesitation.

"I love you, Rapunzel."

I smiled with a brighter mood, "I love you more."

"No way, I love you more" he said, laughing.

***

"Mom, don't yell, he's still sleeping." I vaguely caught Paul's voice speaking in a soft voice. "Yes, yeah, I know." she said again.

I felt the warmth of his skin under my palm as he continued speaking. "No, he wouldn't have come to Spain if the transfer had been agreed." He was silent for a moment, listening to his mother. "No, mom. Bianka had already fought very hard for her life, and she would also go on to pursue a master's degree. I don't want to be the one to destroy her dreams. After all, I won't be playing with Real Madrid forever..."

As my consciousness slowly gathered, I could hear her mother's angry tone at the end of the phone line.

"I, my manager, my lawyer and my coach are trying to shorten my transfer. And my club is now deliberately raising the price so that the Real Madrid team agrees with our offer..."

Desperation was clearly heard in his voice. It's difficult, not just for me, but for his family and friends here. I'm sure his mother disagreed too, but this was a rare opportunity for Paul, and rejecting him was not a wise choice at all.

With eyes still closed, I began to imagine our journey to this day. I was sure I could face anything as long as Paul was around me, but now doubts are coming back to my mind.

It must have been past noon, and the BBC had clearly launched the news of the transfer. I will shut down access to social media from today until the next few days, or my head will explode if I read a variety of sickening speculations.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, looking up to look at her and smiled. Paul noticed my movements then he returned my smile and was about to end the call.

Flirtatiously, I stretched the tip of my finger along her hard chest, down her muscles slowly until it went down to the abdomen, hips, and paused for a moment.

"Mom, I'll call you back, okay?" her focus was distracted when I kissed her neck. "Yes... Oh, no, just later. He's still sleeping, okay? Love you, bye."

In a hurry he turned off the phone and threw his phone at the nightstand. "What are you doing, love?" he pretended to be stupid.

I gave him a dirty smile. "Try to say thank you properly because you already care so much for me." I muttered, then teased his neck with lips, then stroked him with the tip of my tongue.

Paul growled, his jaw hardened while the roar of his breath sounded heavy. "Oh, shit..keep going!"