My Love Journey's
Illusions.

Author's POV.

Paul had called his mother in Germany weeks ago to tell her the problems that had befallen his relationship with Bianka. Anne, no doubt, felt guilty so much that she thought that it would take at least a little form of accountability from her. Therefore, Anne intends to come to Indonesia to meet and talk with Bianka's parents.

But, Paul flatly refused, saying that he could still handle the situation so far. 'Calm down, Mom.' she said. However, it is not until faced with a precarious situation like this time, when Bianka had a miscarriage. Again. Inevitably Paul had to accept his mother's proposal, because however he knew women were better able to understand the feelings of their fellow men.

Paul leaves his apartment to return to the hospital. He left Bianka three hours ago in a state of sleep. The woman cried for hours before falling asleep due to running out of energy. Paul felt defeated and somewhat eliminated from the game he created himself. He needs time to control his emotions and thoughts. He wanted to spend time curled up in bed, but somehow it was hard for him to do that. Until he realizes that being next to Bianka is the only thing he wants. Marissa told him to go home and rest while she would look after Bianka.

Paul looked at his mother who was sitting in the passenger seat. She knew her mother loved Bianka very much, but never realized it would be this big. His roar implied sadness, sitting uneasily, then raising his weak head when he realized the car they were riding in had stopped.

None of them opened their voices on the way to the elevator. Paul glanced at his mother through the corner of his eyes once again, the last time he saw such deep sadness on his mother's face today was when his biological father died. It's definitely not a good memory. Paul shook his head subtly, trying to expel those memories from his mind. Now is not the time to dig into another grief.

Paul rushed out as soon as the elevator stopped, not wasting any time. In less than thirty seconds, she and her mother were already standing in front of the door of Bianka's nursery. His hand was about to open the door when his mother interrupted.

"Paul, I want to say something before we go in."

Paul sighed, removing the uncomfortable turmoil stirring his stomach. "What, Mom?" He tried not to grumble.

"You have to tell Bianka's parents."

Paul's eyes widened for a second before he shook his head. "No."

"Paul, you can't hide this from them" Anne said.

"I can and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Paul could not imagine the reaction of Bianka's parents if they heard this, especially her father. Bianka's mother was quite open and kind to her, but her father.The hell obviously cooled down if Bianka's father could receive the news with a calm heart.

"For once in your life, Paul..." Anne tried again, but was cut off by her son.

"You don't understand, Mom. His father no longer likes me. No, he hates me." Paul struggled not to raise his tone. "The only reason he hasn't killed me to date is because only my existence is capable of maintaining his daughter's sanity, even though I myself am beginning to doubt that. Look what happened to Bianka, and it's all because I ignored her. Now, Mom wants me to call her?" paul continued, rubbing his hair with a huff. "To say that her daughter had another miscarriage, and was probably depressed because of me? No!" break up Paul with confidence.

"Paul's..."

"No, Mom. I can't. How could I call his father and give him another reason to hate me more? How could I call her mother and admit that I had failed, and was unable to look after her beloved daughter? And it's possible that her husband was wise to oppose our relationship, because in reality I wasn't good enough for their daughter."

Paul did not give his mother time to speak. He was scared to death. Afraid of facing Bianka's father. Afraid of Bianka. Afraid that they might have reached the end of the journey.

"Paul's..." Anne tried again, but Paul didn't listen.

"I know, Mom. I'm a loser!" He grunts. "We wouldn't be standing in this place, right now, if I hadn't been chasing him anymore. I'm angry because..." Paul took a breath, realizing the despair was so tormenting to him. "That doesn't matter anymore, does it?" his murmur ended, his tone so pitiful.

"I see what you mean, son. But, you have to try and understand what I want to say. I'm an old man, Paul. And I know that I also want to know my son if I'm his mother. You can't hide this serious problem from them. At least, ask Bianka if she wants to tell them."

"All right." He relented after a while of weighing. He turned his head to see Mia walking closer to them. "Hey," said Paul.

"Hey," Mia replied. "I've finished buying coffee" he said as he shook the coffee cup in his hand.

Paul nodded. "Mia, this is my mother. Mom, mia... Brother cousin Bianka."

The two women shake hands with each other. "I'm Anne, nice to meet you, Mia."

"Welcome to Jakarta" said Mia, smiling warmly.

"He was still sleeping when I left his room a few minutes ago."

"Thank you" Paul said before opening the door.

Bianka is invisible in the room. "Where is he? You said he was sleeping!" Paul almost shouted, turned his gaze to Mia and frowned.

Mia looked confused. "Indeed." answered Mia, walked into the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Bianka, are you inside?"

Silent. There's no answer.

"Maybe the nurse took him to do a test or something. Let me ask you a minute." Anne's Proposal.

"That doesn't make sense, Mom." Paul said.

Mia nodded in agreement, then knocked on the bathroom door once more and immediately took the initiative to open. Suddenly a deafening scream echoed throughout the corner of the room.

Paul hurriedly walked over, subconsciously taking his foot a step back as soon as he looked inside.

Bianka sat on the floor, her back against the wall, her head bent unnaturally under the sink. Both of his eyes were closed, his pale lips slightly opened. Blood flowed slowly, forming a red puddle that filled the floor around his body that was turning blue and staining his hospital robe.

Everything there seemed to be out of sight. Paul felt his breath blocked in his throat, his heart stunned with a painful sensation, making his mother scream for help to wake him up. Paul plunged into Bianka's weakly lying body.

"No, no, no, no, no. Please open your eyes, love." He sobs. "Come on, open your eyes. Let me see your eyes. Go, Bianka!" He continued to plead while shaking Bianka's body. "You're gonna be okay, okay? I pledge. We're gonna be fine. Please don't leave me."

Paul cried out, begging Bianka to open her eyes and say something. "I'm sorry, love... Please, wake. You can't go like this. We can fix everything. Please, i... Bianca!"

Despite being able to hear the voices behind him, Paul was unable to digest what they were saying. It was only when he saw the doctor kneeling beside him that he realized that he had to let go of Bianka so that the doctor could examine her.

Paul had no idea what the doctor was doing. Blurry views. His entire body was trembling, anxious, and nervous. But when he heard the next sentence, he felt that his world had collapsed.

"I'm sorry. Already late. We can't save him."

Paul shook his head violently, refusing to believe the doctor's words. "No. You must be lying!" he murmured, re-captured his lover's body. "Come, Bianka... Open your eyes to me, dear." beg Paul, indifferent to the blood that stained his clothes, as well as the heartbreaking cry behind him.

"I'm sorry, sir, but..." The doctor tried again, patting Paul on the shoulder.

Paul retorted by shaking his shoulders violently and cursing. "Don't touch me! Call another doctor! Call someone who can save her, God damn it!" His face was flooded with tears.

Carefully, Anne hugged her child, looking at Bianka's immobile body. "Paul's..."

"No!"

"Paul, please..."

"No, no, no!"

Paul is not listening. He was already too late in grief when his mother cupped his hands. "Paul's..."

Paul raised his head, his expression confused. Her mother's face replaced Bianka's appearance. He looked down and realized that Bianka was no longer there. "What the fu¢k!" he whispered, sweeping his hands to his face, trying to digest what was happening.

"PAUL, WAKEUP!!!" He heard Anne screaming.