My Love Journey's
She's Leaving

I looked at the necklace I secretly bought for Paul at the jewelry store as we went around yesterday. A simple white gold necklace with a small overtake hanging.

I'm not sure Paul's religious, nor am I, but I wanted to give Paul the necklace because I liked it.

While sitting on the edge of the bed, I wrote him a letter.

...I'm sorry for leaving quietly and unselfishly with you. I bought this necklace for you, I hope you like it....

...Bianca....

I put the necklace on a note I wrote, knowing that Paul would see it.

He's been gone since two hours ago to warm up before the game, which will last another hour. We agreed I would watch the game at the hotel, but I had other plans that I was not aware of.

I just want him to believe that I stay in the hotel during their game, because I don't want to disturb his concentration. I packed all my things into a suitcase and the suitcase was already at the door of the hotel room.

I accidentally left the red dress that Paul bought for me, I don't want to take it no matter how much I feel for the dress. I also left his hoodie in the closet, combining it with Paul's clothes.

No one knows about my departure. Not Alfred, Pablo, Valerie, or Red. With a gloomy feeling, I stepped out of the hotel room and went down into the lobby.

Arriving at the lobby, I approached the reception desk to ask them to book a taxi, then decided to wait in front. With a pale face without makeup, I stood waiting for the taxi that would take me to the airport.

I feel angry and disappointed in myself. I shouldn't have followed Paul's will to make love last night. I shouldn't have given him more hope, even though I did it half-heartedly.

Looks like this really is the unluckiest day for me because I accidentally saw two women just getting out of the elevator. Carmen and Bentela, followed by several other women who earned the nickname as jersey hunters.

The sound of heel bangs clashing against the floor as they stepped towards the front door of the hotel, beautiful curves emblazoned in designer dresses they wore.

I can't possibly be like them. I don't want to be like them. I'm happy to be an ordinary Bianka, who spends time at work and school. My life was never suitable for Paul, nor was his life for me.

"Are you going to watch Paul's game with that performance?" ask Carmen when she stops right before passing me.

I closed for a moment and took a breath and turned to look at him, my mood was not good at the moment, so there was no empty space to accept insults of any kind. His tone was quite friendly, but his words were very demeaning to me.

"Do you have a problem with my appearance?" I tilted my head while smiling a fake smile. Now they all turned to look at me, and it felt like they were in a schoolboy drama.

"Oh, no, say," Carmen replied. "Absolutely not. But you need to ask Paul if he wants to see what you look like..."

"That's it, you cheap lady!" my snapping.

Just as I was about to pull out her fake hair, one large and powerful arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. With a stark look of shock, Carmen and her horde left me. I tried to calm myself down while my gaze still followed them.

I felt like I had just experienced an identity crisis when Pablo moved in front of me. "Are you okay, Miss Becker?" his question, eyebrows frowned confused.

My lips are still trembling while my tears start to fall. I'm going through emotional turmoil and I haven't slept in the least since last night. How could I be okay?

"Do I need to call Mr. Klug?"

"No, no," I said quickly while shaking dramatically. "No need. Please, don't tell him anything about this, I just... Oh, my cab has arrived, I. I have to go..."

"You want to go? Shouldn't you go home with Mr. Klug tonight?" He asked again.

I shook my head while exhaling a trembling breath." It's a long story, Pablo. I really have to go home now." I said a little pleading with my highlight.

He was silent for a moment, somehow he seemed to understand my current situation. Then he nodded and grabbed my suitcase. "Let me help you."

***

From: Paul: The game is about to start! You're watching, right?

I just got on a plane that's taking me back to Germany. I showed my ticket to a flight attendant, and then she let me in. As soon as I sat in my seat, I replied to Paul's message.

To: Paul: You can do it! May you bring home the World Cup this year!

From: Paul: Oh, I forgot to tell you, last night France won, so Cristiano's position might come down.

Whatever Paul has achieved in his football career will not be able to cloud my thinking about him. To me, he's just a Paul, with or without his success. I like him because of him, not because of his achievements. Even so, I understand that it must make him proud.

To: Paul: Wow, that's great news🥇

I purposely put in an emoji to make her think I support her, while masking the fact that I'm not so excited. I've had enough of all my efforts to trust Paul. I couldn't hold myself back any longer with him. Until any moment, we'll never fit in.

From: Paul: The coach has called us. I'll see you tonight. I love you x

I didn't return the message, and instead slept as the plane slowly began to move towards the runway. Less than half of the three-hour journey, the pilot announced from the cockpit that the German national team had won and come out as World Cup winners this year.

I am so happy to hear this news. The athletes, coaches and everyone who helped in this competition has worked very hard. They deserve it. The situation all over Germany must be crazy right now. No doubt, there will be plenty of action to celebrate this victory. Everyone is happy, except me.

In fact, I was on the run, like a sneaking thief, running away from a football player who was everyone's pride. I don't completely blame Paul for this, it's just that I can't take his actions for granted.

As soon as I realized that Paul was going back to the hotel, I left my phone in Airplane mode so he couldn't reach me.