My Love Journey's
Drowned.

"No, Paul. Don't do it," I said, looking firmly at him. "You don't know Louis, and I don't want you to entrust the club to him."

Paul and I were sitting in the study at his house. He showed me the documents about the club he just bought two days ago and asked me to let Louis be the manager of the club. We've been arguing for the past thirty minutes, I know it won't be easy for me to win.

And, I totally disagree with the idea of Louis being given such a big responsibility. Not because I doubted my own sister, but rather the misgivings with the possibility that this idea would have an impact on our marriage. You can't mix business and family because everything related to money is sensitive, very sensitive, and I don't want to combine those two things. The potential for adverse effects is more promising.

"Oh, come on, love. He's your brother, not someone else. Why don't we give him a chance to prove himself?" Paul put the paper in his hand on the table. "Isn't it better that he's in charge there? I don't have to bother recruiting someone. After all, he also did not have a steady job."

"No," I said insisting. "I don't agree. The club is a very vulnerable place for him. He has a poor track record against the night world. Not just once, but many times in and out of prisons and rehabilitation centers. I've only felt a sense of calm about Louis in the last two years. I hope you understand what I mean."

He took a deep breath, averted his gaze for a moment before looking back at me. "You want to lock him up at home?" allegations sillily.

"What's? Of course not. I just want him to stay within my range so I can keep an eye on him."

"You can keep an eye on him, love. It's even easier because I can also help you monitor it. I'll set up a strict security system at the club, there's no way Louis would risk doing something he himself knows will backfire on him."

***

I knocked on Paul's office door after hearing he cut off a phone call with someone and swore violently. There's no answer. I was about to try one more time, but he suddenly jerked the door hard.

"What?!" her spray saw me so much.

I jumped up, subconsciously taking a step back in shock at his taut tone. My forehead wrinkled. "Can you calm down?" sahutku. Do not want to be provoked and make the atmosphere more chaotic.

"No!" answer it as fast as lightning. "You're asking me to calm down? Do you know what's going on right now? Your stupid brother just ruined my life." He rubbed his hair with a huff. "Damn it, I shouldn't have believed him."

I wanted to shout 'I've warned you, but you insist and think you can manage everything! Why don't you just enjoy the results of your stone head?' to him. But, I realized it would make things worse. Instead, I galloped up to him and grabbed his hand, but he immediately brushed aside my hand with a loud jolt.

"Don't try to distract me, Bianka!" grunts sharp.

I frowned, my anger started to ignite. "Crosses attention? You think I'm distracting you? Really, Paul?"

"Yes. That's what you're trying to do now." He walked to his desk. "Go away, my mood is bad. I don't want to hurt you. After all, there's still a lot I have to do to clean up the mess your sister caused."

Not wanting to misunderstand the meaning of his words, I also tried to straighten. "Wait a minute, why do I feel like you're blaming me? Isn't..."

"Yes, I blame you." What the hell! He looked at me with a look as if he wanted to skin me alive. "I blame you for being too lousy, too whiny, too cowardly to know what's going on. You never want to know what's going on out there. You're so busy with yourself that you don't even realize your sister's ruined me."

I felt the wrinkles on my forehead getting deeper. "What are you talking about exactly?" my question, confused. "It's about Louis, Paul's fallacy, not about us. I'm..."

"What difference? You and your brother are the same!" said snapping at me.

Your sister's. Your sister's. YOUR SISTER!!!

I'm speechless. My breath was stuck in my throat while my chest was tight as if something heavy was pressing down on me. This is not fair. I didn't do anything about the club, I never even asked Paul or my brother. That's their business. But, when something happened, why did he just say nonsense about me and blame me.

I gulped, biting the inside of my cheek as my chin trembled withholding tears as I felt my eyes heat up by tears.

"Paul," my hiss restrained.

Without saying anything else, I turned around. Walk hurriedly up the stairs and into the room. I closed the door and leaned there. My tears poured out as I felt the pain when I remembered all his words.

It's not real, is it? Am I dreaming? If so, anyone, please wake me up right now. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

Never once did he yell at me during our relationship. No matter what kind of trouble happened between us, he never behaved like that. I don't even know exactly how much chaos Louis is dealing with. Oh, and Louis, my God... What was on his mind until he dared to go that far?

Feeling like I needed time for myself, to think and find peace and give Paul time, I decided to go to my house. The house is small but always comfortable and warm. I brought nothing but a cell phone and a wallet. Luckily, I didn't sell the house, so there's still a place I can use for moments like this.

When I got there, I lay in bed. Soluble in mind. The memory of Paul's words didn't want to fade from my mind, until I heard my phone ring on the nightstand.

I cleared my throat once. "Yes, Val?" My usual sounding story was not very successful, because she was aware of my tone.

"Oh, Honey... You okay?" he said with worry.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said, gulping bitter saliva.

"Busan Paul called Carl and told him about the problems at the club. From his tone I'm sure he's very angry. Did he do anything to you?"

"No." I replied. "I want to talk to him but it looks like he needs some time. He yelled at me and told me to leave. Well, now I'm in my old house. and. I..." My breath was stuck back. I knew I was breathing, but I didn't feel any air coming into my lungs. Then subconsciously I started to let out a choking sound.

"Bianka's? BIANCA! You why?"

"I. I can't..."

"Pull your breath, Bianka. Take a deep breath, slowly. You might be panicking."

"Mmm hmmm." Slowly. Breathe in. I shook my head vigorously, feeling my tears begin to melt, the heat as if burning the skin. I fought half to death breathing air.

"Yes, I see, Bee. Now, I'm asking you to scream out loud. Let go of everything."

"No. I. I can't.. I..." My voice sounded like a person who had just swallowed a round egg.

"Believe me! I know you're trying to stay calm, but you can't breathe because your courage gets in the way. You have to let go. Scream! As hard as possible!"

Suddenly, a long screech broke the silence. The most surprising thing was, the source of the shrillness it felt came from inside my chest. Through the rustling of the phone, I heard Valerie voice speak soft words of entertainment in my ear, telling me to let go of that burden. My screams subsided as the contents of my lungs drained away, and I took a deep breath.

"Good, girl. That's great." Valerie said. "Now, give me Stacey's phone number. I just changed my phone and some contacts are gone. I'll call him and ask him to your house."

"Oh, no! I don't want to meet anyone." I protested.

"Bianka, I'm not asking permission. Right now, you can't be alone. Even if you plan on lying in bed and only sleeping all day, there should be someone with you. If you don't want Stacey coming, give me someone else's phone number. I have to make sure there's someone else near you right now."

By force, I also mentioned Stacey's number.

"Good, wait a minute. I'll call him. If you do, I'll come back to you and we'll keep talking until she gets to your house, okay?"

"OK!"