My Love Journey's
Another moment in life.

Author's POV.

It had been almost a month since Paul last saw Bianka directly with his eyes. After signing a contract with the biggest football club in Jakarta, he was forced to join his club to Malang for several months. Yes, the Persija cage was moved for renovation needs ahead of Asean Game. He hasn't been home since that day.

Here's her life. The life he chose and made him happy. However, she later felt hollow, hoping to spend time at her lover's side.

Paul had asked Bianka to accompany him, which then ended with a heated debate. He thought it was not an exaggeration to want Bianka to come with him because they did not have to part for months. But, Bianka did not like the idea, she did not want to sacrifice her work.

Flashbacks...

"You're kidding me, Paul! You know I love my job, and it's the only thing that makes me feel alive. My relationship with the hospital is just like yours and the football field. And now you want me to give up on being with you?"

"Why should you look at him like that? I just want to be with you always, is that a crime?"

They argued for a few days. Bianka was driving her to the airport when Paul tried to convince her once again. "I'll be out of town for a few months." he murmured reasoned. "I just want to see you every day, love. And, when I'm off, we can take a walk."

"So, you're basically asking me to sit quietly in the hotel for days, do nothing and just wait until you're done?" Bianka snorted, her gaze forward. "Don't you feel selfish asking me to stop working just to sit and wait for you? Is everything just about you, Paul? Your wish?"

"Oh, now I'm selfish!" Paul sounded annoyed.

"When aren't you?"

"Love, you don't have to work. My income is more than enough for both of us, our children later, and even until our grandchildren will get a comfortable life. You don't need that job." challenge Paul, make Bianka gasp.

"Don't you dare say it like that again!"

Paul took a breath. "You know? I get it now. You're trying to make me the bad guy, no problem. Stay here and have fun with your work. I don't give a shit. Do whatever you want."

After the quarrel, there was almost no communication between them, the distance that happened now was not only physical, but also emotional. Bianka was angry with Paul. Even though the man had already apologized, he was still acting cold.

The tension almost killed Paul. It took a while for him to realize that he was indeed selfish. He realized sometimes his attitude was too far off, relying on his feelings for Bianka as an alibi to justify his actions. The years of parting with Bianka made him lose confidence, and this was truly torturous.

In the past, everything was easy. Although the relationship does not always run smoothly, but also not as difficult as this. He was on the verge of despair, almost wanting to give up and back out of his own struggle. However, later on, he realizes that Bianka is worth fighting for. As much as anything he has to do to win his lover's heart, Paul is ready to do it. Whatever it is. Because, valuable things are not easy to get. It takes energy, time, even tears to reach it.

There is something different between them now and three years ago. If the two had always judged the problem with a simple point of view, not anymore. Anything has to be accompanied by complexity and long debates, even though it's just a little thing to kind of visit each other while they live far apart. But that's called process, right?

It is like a foreign sin. All he wanted was to obtain Bianka in one piece. Paul seems to be turning into a greedy man. The greed for attention, smile, presence, time, and whereabouts of Bianka. He was a really selfish couple. Paul doesn't realize that until his greed nearly drowns their relationship. Maybe the moment of separation with Bianka is not something bad because he himself needs to improve. He wants to be the best for Bianka.

When Paul finally gets a chance to talk to Bianka, he expresses his apology in earnest and admits his guilt. At the same time, he also realized Bianka's attitude had completely changed. No more cold or flat response he threw at Paul, like a month ago.

Flashbacks...

"Do you hate me?"

"Love?"

Bianka finally turned her eyes to Paul, a line of smiles on her lips. "Sorry, I was watching Benji before he bit my shoe."

"Oh, okay. So then?" Paul raised his eyebrows, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I don't hate you, Paul. I'm glad you managed to control your anger and possessiveness."

"You never said it bothered you."

"Early, yes. I mentioned it at our meeting with dr. Susan. Remember that? When I say sometimes you make me uncomfortable."

"Yes, you're right. I think it took me longer than I thought to process that information. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stop working. I know you love your job so much and forgive me for not trying harder to understand you. You know, it's all because I love you, love." she said with teary eyes. He took a deep breath to control his emotions and held back his tears from spilling.

"I'm glad you noticed, Paul. I'm happy because we're both trying to be the best version of each other. I'm not mad at you. Pissed, yes..."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I love you."

"I love you more."

Paul is really trying to get better. That was one of the reasons why he was in a situation that was holding him back at the moment. He had to be careful and make sure Bianka didn't know that her work outside the city was done, and was now in a place she felt was worth visiting. He can't tell this truth. At least, not yet.

"I need your help." He breathed a nervous breath.

The man standing before him loomed dashingly and steadfastly. Both of his eyes explored Paul's body from head to toe. The glare in his eyes would make anyone shrivel in fear, but Paul did not flinch.

"What makes you so sure I want to waste my precious time helping you, young man?"

"Please, for this time do not look at me as an enemy. I love your daughter, and I want to do the right thing to her. Please, just give me a few minutes to explain what I mean before you make a decision."