Dear Imamku
Dear Imamku

"When it is necessary to cry, not all tears are weak, "

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The sound of the dawn Adhan woke me from a deep sleep even though the hospital air felt very cold at this hour, still did not undo my intention to wake up and wudu. I put away the blanket that had been attached to my body and then stood up and fixed the hijab that was irregular shape again maybe because I was too much motion during sleep.

I got up from my place then took a deep breath. alhamdulillahil ladzi ahyana ba'da ma amatana wailaihin nusyur .

Dad looked at me with a smile on the hospital bed, he looked very strong with his old face even though he was now in a state of concern. My father has hypertension. Hypertension itself is one of the risk factors for heart disease which is characterized by an increase in blood pressure above the normal threshold. If allowed to continue to rise this disease can interfere with the function of other organs such as the heart and kidneys, which then triggers complications, "Daddy wudu first yes?," asked me with a smile that was replied by a nod by the father. Every day I always take my father to wudu in Mushollah then accompany him to prayer in the room, after which I can only pray.

We both walked away from the bed where Dad was sleeping. Dad held my hand tightly with a focused look forward then said, "If you have changed father's clothes and wudu you just continue to the mosque in front of this room yes, let me go in by myself" he said in his distinctive soft voice.

I smile. "Ready Dad." It just so happened that my father was a member of the TNI so if he spoke like a soldier, it was all from him.

Arriving at the mosque, my father went to the WC to change his clothes into clothing worthy of prayer. After finishing changing clothes and then berwudu while sitting, father has not been fully able to stand for long.

"Guild your father first," asked me to take you to the room where you were being cared for. It was the first time I left my father in that room.

"Udah wants iqamah son, hurry up and get in, "dad's orders, which start to get away from me.

"Dad," called me as he ran after the father who was a bit away. "Anter father not up to hours will also make it to the father's room, so Dibahah interracial father first," I ask thank God accepted by father.

"Jaudah go there pray son," the father ordered after reaching the room. It just so happened that his prayer father lay down so I didn't have to worry too much about his condition later.

"Take care of yourself, Dad. " I ran towards the prayer prayer mosque even though I was left behind by a rakaat at dawn today.

I hope that after the dawn prayer the miracle will come to make Dad better as before and can move again. For seven days in the hospital I had to return from school to Fatimah hospital which was too far away. Sometimes I feel sorry for you but how else can I just help like this if I can live for two with you so I can see it until the end of my life. But unfortunately it is impossible whatever happens inevitably must be approved even though sometimes it is very painful.

Dad's money is running low. If there were still mothers, maybe things wouldn't be like this. My mother died seventeen years ago when she gave birth to me, I have never even seen her in person, God loves my mother too much. Now I'm just a high school student who is about to graduate, if I were born sooner so I could work now and help with my father's treatment. The risk of being a child.

After the dawn prayer around five o'clock, I read the Quran according to my custom after the dawn prayers and after other prayers. I was silent, and suddenly my sense of hearing caught the figure of a voice so very melodious read aloud the letter ar-rahman. I think I want to go to the source of the sound and record it. I pray, 'god whenever I meet the man chanting your sacred verse please make me realize that he is so I can record the sound and hear it at a later time if I am alone.'

I always heard that voice until I jolted awake with my father who was in the hospital room by himself. "Oh Allah why it should be like this," I upset while tidying up the prayer equipment I was wearing earlier. "Hopefully I can still hear that voice again at least once again, O God." I quickly left for my father's room.

Now it's 5:47 I have to get to the room immediately and prepare everything necessary for my father and then go to school and I have to be alone again in the room. "Dad's Assalamualaikum." I opened the door to my father's room slowly enough for my body to enter and then closed the door again because my father's room was air-conditioned. I looked at the face of the father who was asleep with the prayer clothes still attached to his body. Dad always fell asleep after dawn prayers he was too often sapped lately.

After cleaning everything I started to change the clothes I was wearing earlier into school uniforms and other school supplies such as bags, shoes and so on. Ever since my dad got sick I've been doing everything. I used to be too spoiled, my job was just learning school lessons not with other lessons such as cooking or washing, preparing things for my future. The father who always does everything even cooking was the father who did it until I finally grew up to be a girl who does not know much for home affairs.

"Assalamualaikum Father. " I tried to slowly wake up because I was always shocked when I woke up.

"Astagfirullah," surprised dad. This is what I was afraid of when I woke up. "Oh Allah, I'm sorry for your father" he said with a hunting breath like a man who ran dozens of meters away.

I smiled guilty. "Sorry Dad. Dibah tried to wake Dad up, but Dibah-vows"

"It's okay, son. Are you going to school, huh? The pocket money is in the closet, just take it straight to school well," point dad to the cupboard on his left. I walked over to the place that my father had appointed and then took the money for my snacks and approached my father to shake hands. "Be careful, do not forget to pray and learn the right ones. Success does not come to the lazy, remember that" said the father in his wise words. He always gives me motivation to learn every day like 'how rich you are but does not give some of your wealth to those in need just as you live poor,' and 'Pretending to be good is a great progress if you can turn your pretend nature into your true nature.'

"Adiba go first Dad, don't forget also a lot of istighfar ya. Assalamualaikum, "I said while holding my father's hands and then kissed him .

Father stroked my hair, "Waalaikumsalam. Yes, dear." I then passed away from my father with a very heavy feeling of letting him alone. The length of my time at school is only nine hours, incidentally my school has not applied fullday.

After walking through the hospital, I immediately headed for the nearest stop. I stood together with the students and some other people waiting for the angkot as well, I stared at the one-on-one humans standing there but did not know any of them. While waiting for a few minutes, the angkot finally came, I did not go to any place. I had to give up and wait for the next one again. I'm not alone I'm alone with a man who's about the same age as me.

Inadvertently I always steal a glance to be able to see it until I realize what I did 'Astagfirullah.' sorry God I have noticed a man who is not my mahram, I am sorry, my curiosity was too much that I forgot what sins I had later. I took a few steps away from the young man.

The transport I was waiting for finally came without a single passenger. Thankfully, at least I was able to get there quickly without waiting for the driver to take one of the passengers. I got into the car with the young man I was with.

"Well where's neng? And also bang?" asked Krenek angkot to look at the two of us in turn.

"Man one, "I answered along with the man behind me.

I turned to look at the man to see if I knew him who knew he was one of the students or students from my school? And actually no, I don't know that guy. His face is very foreign to me. What's the new student? 'astagfirullah' and again I was too curious about things that were not important to me.

"Ooh, one school huh? "

"I have a purpose in man one bang" said the man. I don't know how to look at her I never turned around to see her again. All I saw was the driver behind me to drive his car was nodding at the man's words.

It feels like today the angkot is too long to arrive at my school. Sandari I sat down but did not arrive. I stared at the watch in my hand which showed at 6:30 and thirty minutes left at 07:00 . I don't know what road to take now it feels like I just saw this. "What is so far away?" I'm sorry, I've been here but I haven't arrived.

The bang kernet turned to look at me. "Sabar neng is beautiful, on the city road there is a raid so we just pass here." Bang kernet was laughing.

"Bang, the problem is faced," I said.

"Yes neng, the school is also close by'. Beautiful-beautiful fierce, no special neng, "mayu kernet it. If you look at his face and posture he is still too easy maybe still the age of a Junior High child and certainly decided to be unemployed, I don't know what the strong reason he. I sometimes feel sorry for people who drop out of school, too many opportunities are wasted.

I decided to shut up until I got to school. The atmosphere was so lonely, I don't know where the residents have started lessons? No way, now is it still six, soon seven hours or hours at acceleration? May not, O God. I sped up my steps to get to class quickly. Once there it also looked quiet until I heard a sound from the direction of the mushola. Ah, it turns out that everyone is there, for what?

I went into class and put my bag. Then go out to Mushola. "Assalamuaaikum," my greeting upon reaching the door of the mosque. There was already seen my classmate who was sitting in the corner of the mosque.

"Do you think pandas know?" Look Dani in the direction of my eyes.

I was sitting next to Dani "You know that my dad is sick so I'm staying up all the time."

My classmates, Sri Ramadhani, Nur Ainun, Sri Wahyuni, Jumiati, Eka, Nurpika, Ahmad Fauzi, Abdi Kurniawan, Andi Wahyudin, Aldi, Ardi and Ilham whom I saw in the mosque to where else? Usually, if it's like this, they won't go through it. My classmates will be complete if the gathering at the mosque like now, but why even less than eight students? Where's she? Or not to go? Could be.

This gathering of students at the mosque because I want to discuss about the health of the body, I know it's from Jumiati. But right now my eyes are saying something else, he always wants to be closed. I feel very sleepy today, my sleep hours have changed to less since my father got sick. I tried to lean my body against the wall behind me. I was so tired I wanted to fall asleep.

The atmosphere of the room sounded suddenly silent. Someone now said a greeting that was answered entirely by the students who were there except me. My eyes are now tightly closed. Now the room suddenly returned crisp, faint words from someone who said, "Look at the future" he said, which ended with laughter by people who heard it. I heard everything until I started to fall asleep.

"My name is Farzan Rayhaan Shakeil can be called Kak Farzan."

Someone is now making a sound. "Hay Brother Farzan," said some students with flirtatiousness

"If treating the heart can not father? " ask Sri Wahyuni. I knew that he was the one who spoke because I had already memorized his voice.

Trembling cheers were heard from the front row or the male line.

"My discussion this time is Symptoms of HIV AIDS in adolescents, Symptoms of HIV AIDS infection need to be known, especially for adolescents. When a person first becomes infected with HIV, the virus develops in their body. In a summary of various sources, I will explain the early symptoms of AIDS in adolescents that appear after a few months," explained the man. All the women who usually rarely pay attention if the teacher explains are now suddenly model students for this once only. "Teenagers experience drastic weight loss. Adolescents have a prolonged fever, can be more than 380 C. Teenagers have enlarged glands. Teenagers have diarrhea or prolonged diarrhea."

Suddenly a student said, "Mr udin snatched a moment but the smell really anyone kissed him must not stand"

Mushola suddenly came because of laughter from some residents of mushola. "more? " his question is approved by everyone "The teenager has bluish red patches on the skin." Evidently.

"Okay, all the information from me. In sha Allah if you meet with me please ask whenever you want. And for those who want to ask now, please raise your hand. I open the question and answer session now" he said to make the atmosphere becomes chaotic. It sounds like some students are now competing to ask questions including some of my friends. "What's her name? " ask one of the lucky students who can ask the doctor directly.

"I am Sri Ramadhani, I would like to ask, Father how old is he? Do you have a partner? " ask Dani with a flick to make all the men cheer her up.

"Okay, calm down" he asked. "I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself. As agreed I will answer, I am 27 years old and I still stop by. Sorry..."

The sound began to dissipate, as if something was touching me and moving my hand. "Build Adibah, Dibah Awake, "the word of Dani.

I woke up with my eyes still closed. My view is still faint. I looked around and saw that the room was now quiet just me and some of my friends who were there. 'Why is it so quiet?'

"Yes Allah Adibah you did not see my future earlier explained," said Sri Wahyuni excitedly, "O Allah is handsome that man, as if I had been carried away and started to like him,"

"Gee! You're every man you say handsome, "my upset, actually I'm still sleepy but want how else I've been awake and obviously it's been hard to sleep back. Moreover, I woke up in a state of rumbling stomach asking to be filled immediately. "I'm hungry let's eat first, "I got up with the help of Dani and Jumiati.

On the way to the cafeteria I always heard about the doctor, the doctor who explained earlier. I don't know if I'm really curious about a doctor who's now the topic of conversation between my friends, how handsome is he? How bad is he? Until all the girls in my class liked it. And I felt very curious about the famous handsome prophet of God, the Prophet Yusuf Alaihisalam. The doctor only just has what percentage of good looks can make a woman this stupid then how the good looks of the prophet Joseph so that makes anyone women who see it must be drugged about him.

"Look, if I get Kak Farzan on the street I'll tell him to come home and make me happy. It feels like this delusion will soon become real, " Dani said. His delusion is always high.

"O Allah, you know where the woman who is worthy of Farzan is certainly not the woman beside me" At the end of the speech Sri said.

My phone suddenly sounded. Who's calling? Usually my phone never rings at school hours like this. I stared at the phone screen there was no name on it. "Assalamualaikum who? " let's ask someone who called.

"This is Mrs Adibah Sakhila Atmarini? " He turned around to ask.

Back I looked at my phone screen who knew I knew the number that called me and again no, I didn't know that number. "Yes myself, what's wrong? Who's i-"

"Sorry my mom mops." I'm starting to know, she's a mop twice a day into my dad's room, she's Fatimah's mommy's age maybe my mom's. "Mr.a.s.s is now critical, I saw the sisters running towards the madam's father's room, earlier,"

pip.

I'm severing the unilateral call. Suddenly my legs drooped. It felt like my whole body was numb. As if behind me there was no chair maybe I've injured the back.

Help anyone, wake me up if it's just a dream. My tears that were forcing me to come out finally came out too. "Why are you Diba?" asked Dani who saw me suddenly crying. Whatever it is about dad, it is my biggest weakness.

"Where's fauzi? Where's fauzi?" my yelling. "I have to go home. Father's disease." I can no longer continue my words. It's all because of my crying.

"O Allah Diba, the men in our class have all gone home, today he said at an empty hour. So I'm going home." Dani approached me.

My tears flowed back unconsciously I left everything but my phone, to run to meet my father as soon as possible. 'Allah is to you we ask. Please my father, God'. I heard from behind someone running too, I knew it was one of my friends. When passing through the school fence I accidentally hit a man who was an angkot with me was talking to the school. They were looking at me at the same time. I had apologized to the man then turned to look at the school "Assalamualaikum father, I can go home now? My father's condition was now deteriorating, father, "clearly I was in a hurry and suddenly shed tears. Dani who was following me earlier is now holding my shoulder.

Suddenly the headmaster approached me. "Your father is sick, son? " he asked which I nodded.

"What hospital? " The man now asks.

"Fatimah Hospital brother," said I sobbed. I'm really being so whiny when it comes to dad. He's the only person I have in this world, he's the only precious thing I have right now.

"OK you can come with me, I happen to want to go there, for the task" he explained I nodded back. "Yaudah, father, I go first Assalamualaikum, "permit the man. Which was also answered by the headmaster.

"Adibah and Dani are also fathers, assalamualaikum. " We both ran towards the man's car. After the headmaster answered my regards. Wait, didn't you just ride the anakot with me? Why do you suddenly have a car? Ah it's not important I have to see dad as soon as possible.

During the trip I just cried on Dani's shoulder. We're both sitting in the back of that guy's car. Although it is actually a bit impolite to tell him to sit alone in front as if he is a driver. "Prophey, in shaa Allah your father must be fine" Persuaded Dani.

"You know, I only have a father in this world. All my family has left me. I don't want to lose a father in my life, I don't want to lose anyone else. Dani's." My crying became deeper as I remembered the moment when I was with my father.

Dani stroked the white headscarf I wore while telling me to always be very careful. Without being told I always say that, I once said, 'When you're anxious don't forget to be with those who are patient'.

Why did I have to go to school? Why not take care of Dad! Why don't I feel these signs? I should have felt something that would have kept me from going to school! My child. If I had known, I might be close to you by now.

I hope that after we get to it everything will improve, dad will be fit again and we can walk around the statue of Habibie and Ainun in Pare-pare city square again and just alone together with the great man I call father.

About twenty minutes waiting on top of the car three, finally arrived too. I immediately opened the car door and immediately ran alone with Dani towards Dad's room, leaving the man who drove me earlier without a word of thanks, I hope I can still meet him and say thank you. My anxiety increased when I got to the room, I wanted to be moved to the ICU. My steps never stopped, I continued to follow where the ICU was until we finally reached the room. I wanted to go with my father but not just anyone could enter the room let alone in this state.

My body suddenly shivered my hands began to tremble, a sense of worry had filled my thinking. Dani tried to take me to the waiting chair in front of the lobby. Suddenly a man with an upright body entered my father's room, I'm sure he must be the doctor who will handle father.

"Patience God will not test us if we are not able to pass through, you must be strong do not show your weakness, Diba," he said, holding me.

"When you need to cry, not all tears are weak" I said calmly. I hope everything will be okay. Or at least this is a dream so that if I wake up later everything returns to normal. And I could see my father laughing in the morning and after work.

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'Pretend to be good a great advance if you can turn your pretentious nature into your true nature.'

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Sorry if the words are still bad and many teypo/error words. Perfection belongs only to God. ^_^

Lesson :

Verily those who sin are those who laugh at the believers.Al-Muthoffifin: 29