Dear Imamku
The doctor?
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There is nothing greater in his influence than prayer. HR. Tirmidhi.
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I put down the letter I had read earlier, then dropped my body onto the sofa. Whatisthis? I couldn't be angry with her, when I realized, I was the one who made her that way. Leaving him for a long time.
It felt like my head suddenly hurt, maybe the effect of staying up late, while abroad, my sleep was never perfect, meaning my sleeping hours were very less, too much I thought. Maybe it's time, I rested my body for a moment.
After a few seconds I closed my eyes, my mind remembered Adibah. My dishes are not good. O Allah, what is this? My heart rate is beating so hard. I immediately picked up my phone and then called Adibah , ‘May she be fine yes Allah.’ I said in my heart.
There's no answer. Or did he forget his phone? Farzan calmed down Farzan, calm yourself Farzan, Adibah must be fine. I kept trying to contact but the results remained the same, there was no answer.
I tried calling Fauzi's number that I saved while still abroad. May it be active, aamiin.
Teg! Teg! Teg! Teg!
“Aa. Assalamual-alaikum, “ Greetings Fauzi sounds a bit strange.
“Wa’alaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Where is adibah? “
Fauzi. Suddenly the sound of an ambulance was heard clearly from this phone. Astagfirullah, don't tell Adibah why? No, it is not certain that only an ambulance that just happened to pass by, but wait if it happened to pass by why is the sound still there?
“Fauzi, what happened there? Co. Try the.. Explain, in detail! “ my question with stuttering.
“Attribution, Farzan! “ heard from his tone, if he was crying, it sounded very raucous.
“Astagfirullah, son of this one! Please explain, what's wrong? Adibah why? Did he do any more recklessness? Hit animals? Or-“
“He was hit by Farzan! And will be referred to sumatri, “ucap Fauzi in a loud voice.
Astagfirullah. Reflex I dropped my phone on the floor.My body felt suddenly stiff, cold sweat began to pour on my back. I closed my eyes, unconsciously a single tear ran down my face.
I immediately left the apartment to go to the hospital. During the trip, I've contacted the closest family and soon he will also arrive.
I pulled my hair rough, I felt so frustrated, I shaved the steering wheel again. Why should Adibah? Why should he! Why not just me? Why should this woman be God? I was crying in the car.
I wiped my tears rough. Today is so painful! At the wedding reception we will soon be done, but must be delayed again.
After a few minutes on the way, we finally arrived. Go straight to the Adibah room. Without asking, I already know the ICU room in this place. If only I could, I would handle everything Adibah!
“Good afternoon Doctor Farzan. The doctor said on leave why did Mala come? “ asked one of the sisters when I was standing straight at the door.
I smiled stiffly in front of the sister. “Who's inside?” I asked, regardless of the sister's question.
“The victim hit-and-run he said Doc. But inside it has been handled by doctor Mahesa so Doctor Farzan can go to the room first, “ said the nurse gently.
“But inside my wife, how can I go?" The sister looked shocked to hear what I said just now. In any hospital, no one knew I was married.
“Well, how is Adibah doing? “ Aqilah and umi have just arrived.
“Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, don't forget," I said with a sigh.
“Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, “ said umi then approached me, and hugged me. “ There is nothing greater in his influence on the side of Allah than prayer. " PE. Tirmidhi.
Without me asking my tears to just flow. I feel like I'm losing my soul now. I hugged her body tightly, her little body that means so much to me now.
Suddenly I remembered Adibah's words, ‘The loneliness came when we forgot that God is with us. La tahzan innallah ma'ana do not grieve verily Allah is with us.L’ that time he smiled gently, sincerely and I miss that smile very much.
“Umi, Adibah is now sick Umi. If it could be exchanged, I who was in Umi's position, he already bore too much pain. I love my wife Umi... Now she is very weak Umi,” I said in a raucous voice.
“Umi know what you feel son, umi know Adibah, she's a strong and sweet girl. “
“Yes he is very sweet Umi, especially if talking without pause, “ I said while laughing, with tears still flowing.
Umi took her opener off me and wiped my tears. “La tahzan innallah ma'ana, remember it nak.”
A few seconds later, Mahesa came out of the ICU. I started approaching him, “How are things? “ my question while smiling. Mahesa silence. He looked at me deeply, looking at a face that was difficult to define. “Why silence? Huh uh? You are the doctor! Say that Adibah is fine it's hard for you ka-“
“The problem is his condition is deteriorating, he lacks a lot of blood, there is a clash in his brain, Zan. And chances are he'll lose sight, he's too glue-“
“Stop! Stop talking like that! If you talk like that again, I'll hit you! “ said while holding a monkey Mahesa clothes.
Umi and Aqilah approached me, telling me to be patient and calm down. Umi takes me down and Aqilah takes Mahesa away from me. I cried so much, my chest felt tight hearing that. I'm stupid! So stupid! Why should I leave that time!
I hugged Umi's body tightly, while crying. Many things I want to ask God, one of them is why my world is so destroyed now? What plan have you given me? What destiny have you given me?
“The mighty man is not one who can tear down (his enemy). The mighty man is the one who can control himself when angry.” H. R Ahmed. Umi rubbed my back. “Time to pray zuhur, pray and pray your wife to get well soon,” said umi, while kissing my forehead.
My eyes were on where Mahesa was. He's looking at me too. “Can I see how it is now?“ tanyaku, who was nodding back by Mahesa.
Slowly my steps went inside. Really, to be honest, I can't afford to continue this step. A body full of medical equipment. I grimaced when I saw the wound on his head, it must have been very painful, how did this happen? I kept on having a special heart, I feel very uneasy now.
“Why did this happen? “
He threw his gaze at me. “It's all because of me! I almost killedn-“
“What do you mean? Huh! “ my question with growls.
Suddenly she was crying. Hit the hospital wall. “I'm sorry I did this! I love him so much that I make him like this. He told me to propose to him before your wedding reception! I regret rejecting it! Farzan, what should I do now? I love him but it's also impossible if I have to propose to him! “ said while sobbing.
It felt like I was standing on the twenty floor, with a thousand arrows thrown at me, if I jumped to escape the arrow I would still die and if I stood I would still die.
Who can I blame now? When I realized I was wrong right now! I wanted to kill the man but I was self-conscious, mistakes were not on my side! Anyone, can you guys make me die for a while? Until this problem is solved? If you can't, make me die forever!.
My chest felt tight, as if I was running out of oxygen again to breathe. Oh my God, how am I going to get through this? Which one did he say would be beautiful in time? The woman I married never had the slightest feeling for me!
“Although the heart wants him to anchor the taste, but if God does not want me can what?” said Fauzi who is still on the right side of Adibah.
I dropped my body down. I'm back crying! I hate this position! It's true, no matter how much you want to have it, if it's not yours, it can never be yours.
“I'm sorry Fa-“
“Stop talking! Once again you speak I will kill you! “ my shout growled. I approached Fauzi and wanted to hit him.
“Stop Farzan! “ shouted Umi, as I was already holding a monkey in Fauzi's shirt.
“Don't tell me I'm quiet, so you're willing to talk! “ I shout loudly. My chest is kempis. “Adibah would never say that! “
Without expecting anything else to happen. Sudden seizure. Mahesa approached Adibah, then removed all medical equipment after which tilted Adibah's head, This position will prevent vomit into the lungs.
Not long after that, Adibah finally improved. I approached my wife with a medical device that was re-attached. Hugged her, while occasionally kissing her. “If I am not your happiness, I will allow you to seek your happiness, because your happiness is my happiness. Everyone must have the right to love, even though love is only a dream, but every dream has the right to be realized,” isakku.
Right now, I am at the peak of my weakness. It's hard to explain everything, it's hard to erase everything. Uhhh! I hate this position!
Oh my God, what's my fault? What's your plan? When the other problem is not finished, the other problem comes. Perhaps this is what is called fair, when Zahra destroyed Adibah's life and Fauzi destroyed mine.
I swear, I can't believe Adibah betrayed me! I really can't believe it. But didn't Adibah love Fauzi? And I came as the destroyer of their relationship, and with a very beautiful plan, Adibah pura loves me and, arghh!! Protect yourself from prejudice, for prejudice is as bad as speech. H. R. Bukhari Muslim and Abu Dawud. Oh Allah forgive me. Why am I thinking about this?
With mixed feelings, I took my foot out of this room. I want to tell you about this matter, O God.
“Where are you going, son? “ ask umi.
I looked back at Umi's face. “I want to calm down for a while Umi,” said I then continued my steps, but only a few steps back I turned to look at Umi and others. “I hope, when I come again, that creature is no longer here! “ firmly me while staring at Fauzi's face.
“Ma-“ has not had time to finish his words, I have cut his sentence.
“Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.”
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Farzan stood up, takbiratul ikhram, and began to pray zuhur. Rakaat for rakaat. After the completion of the prayer his lips quivered a prayer to Allah SWT, rested before Allah SWT, his hands rested, he indulged the prayer with tears that continued to flow.
“Yes Allah, O robbi, I beg you, return my wife's happiness, O God, return a sweet smile on her lips, return joy every day. I do not ask much, O God, just ask for a little, one of which is giving healing to my wife. She's the second woman after the Umi I love, God.
“I remembered Fauzi's words again, if it was true, I would have left Adibah for the sake of her happiness with another man. I am sure, God, when he is happy, I will find happiness there too. This is actually an expression of stupidity, but different from me, for me this is a sincerity.
“Yes the merciful God. If it is true that Adibah is not my soul mate, please leave one person like him for my future. Or don't make me mate with him in the afterlife.
“Yes Almighty God, forgive me if my prayers are too much this time, forgive me for presumptuously asking you this. Forgive me who may love someone beyond my love for You, O God. I ask you to give me the best way, O Allah...
Robbana aatiina fiddunya khasanah, waa fil'a khiroti khasanah, waa qiinaa adzaabannar, "
His prayer ended with the hand returning to the beginning. He smiled looking around, looking at people who had just entered and who had come out, who were cool to talk, some were laughing and so on. It's true, your problem is your responsibility, no one will understand but you alone.
You may hate something when it is good for you and you may like something when it is bad for you, God knows you do not know. QS. Al-Baqarah; 216
And ask (to Allah) for help in a patient manner and in prayer, and the prayer is indeed heavy, except for those who are special
there is no power or effort except with the help of Allah alone. QS. Al-Baqarah; 45
''Sufficient is Allah for you, there is no god but Him I trust. QS.At-Taubah; 129
''Did the people think that they were allowed to (only) just by declaring that we had faith, while they were not tested anymore...?
Verily, we have tested the people before them, and Allah knows the truthful, and He knows the liars. QS.Al-Fog: 2-3
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Everyone has the right to love, even if love is just a dream, but every dream has the right to be realized
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