Dear Imamku
Wedding dress 2
- Adibah
بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
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"To get a child too, how to do?"
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After seeing the doctor with Jihan, it was Jihan I who contacted her and told her about the matter with her, and I finally found a solution, too, Jihan told me to check with the gynecologist and right now I'm positively pregnant.
It turned out that during this time when my mood was easily changed, it was all because of hormones from my future baby. By Allah I am very happy, soon my desire to have children will soon be fulfilled, and soon Brother Farzan will be called father.
I keep stroking my flat stomach, not even if in my stomach there is a human. Once again thank you God, for giving me this kind of happiness, I do not know what to do after this, how to look at Farzan's face when he knows this.
“Saking happy to the point of forgetting that I am here, “ said Jihan who was sitting next to me, she was pretending to be angry, I know that.
I smiled, with teary eyes. I saw Jihan wipe my tears. “I'm so happy Jihan, “ said I hugged her back.
“Indeed yes, if you are married, the happiest news next is pregnant.”
“May you soon follow,” I said. I know, she must be very reminiscent of a child as well as me.
“Just pray. Abdul just went off duty, yesterday after our wedding reception, he had to get out of town. It sucks, right? “ ask Jihan.
“So the story if you have received him? “
“A long before our wedding reception. I guess he's rude, turns out he's not, he's very understanding anyway. Diligent worship, his memorization is also more than your memorization Adibah. And I guess, I have found my true love, “ she said, with a hand that holds my hand as well.
“Thank God then,” I said. “How yes, look at Farzan's face if he already knows about this news, if I'm pregnant. Our marriage has been a long time and now I've got the results. “
“I'm sure, he'll carry you while jumping around in excitement. “
“Do not arrive, it could be dangerous for our baby candidates. “
“But Adibah. To get a child too, how? “ Jihan's words managed to get me to pinch her waist. He grimaces in pain. I don't know how innocent this woman in front of me is. Where may I tell it, at first I do not know but after that I already know clearly. “Aduhh, Adibah is sick to know! “ annoyed Jihan, while rubbing my former pinch earlier.
“You will understand for yourself, “ I whispered with a laugh.
“What's funny trying? Your pinching hurts a lot, huh! “
“Sorry-sorry. You ask him strange, you should ask this to your husband,” said I am still laughing.
“But it doesn't have to pinch times. “
“I'm sure after asking this, you'll know why I pinched your waist.”
I just laughed at Jihan's words. “Not to be discussed."
While I was joking around with Jihan, I stared at the clock that showed at 20:23 and Farzan had not yet returned, while Jihan had gotten a call from her in-laws, it's obviously late now.
I accompanied Jihan to the lower parking lot, I don't think she went home alone, from a distance I saw a car approaching Jihan who had been obeying me.
With mixed feelings, I returned to my apartment. Is Brother Farzan angry with me? Didn't I mention the words that God hates the most? Asking for divorce from your husband? I don't know if I'm innocent right now, how I am.
After I got to the apartment, I dropped the hunchback on the sofa. Suddenly I was starving, and Farzan had not yet returned. And again, I felt nausea again, trying to resist nausea, I ran to the toilet. My stomach feels empty at this time, wanting to be nauseous but I am so lacking in food in my body.
I could no longer move, my endurance might have weakened. I can faintly hear the door knocking. I'm trying to get up, maybe it's Farzan's brother.
O God, I can't wait to give this good news to Farzan, I feel excited. Back, the door sounded.
“Wait, “ my words then open the door. I kept smiling until I could see Farzan's face, why am I so happy? “Sister Farzan I h-“
Just think I finished my words Brother Farzan first cut him off, giving me the condition to use his index finger.
“I'm asking for divorce!”
Whether consciously or not Farzan said it, but it was able to make the smile on my face disappear. My chest feels so tight. Ever since the mold's oxygen supply became less like this?
I tried to smile back. "Sister Farzan come in first, "I said.
"I'll take care of everything, you pray that this divorce goes well. "
Farzan's words make me claustrophobic. I was like being pierced by a thousand arrows, and after that my body disappeared instantly. I'm wrong here, I asked him to divorce me, didn't I? Wouldn't what we plant we reap later? Even my words were just a few hours ago but I've got it all!
Whether conscious or not, my tears suddenly flowed along with Farzan's departure. Yes he left me alone. It is hard to bear this alone.
If I had known that Farzan had come only to convey this, I would have prayed to Him to delay his arrival even longer.
I closed the door. My legs don't feel boned anymore, I feel so neat at this time, my body just fell to the floor.
“Arghh!!” yells frustration.
The eagle eye I missed, the dimple on his left cheek emanated when he smiled, now it will only be a pseudo-fantasy.
Truly, I did not expect that Brother Farzan would utter that sentence, nor did I ever imagine it, even wanting the word to be spoken by God I so much did not want it.
With all my heart I held everything. My tears just flowed. I didn't know that my pregnancy hormones could be as fatal as this, I lost control at that time O God.
Maybe when someone else leaves, I won't be like this, I still have a place to tell stories, but right now Brother Farzan is leaving, then who am I to tell this matter to? When did our relationship go smoothly?
My dream of becoming a perfect family is now gone, and just destroyed, just because of the three words that came out of the mouth of Farzan at that time.
Suddenly I remembered the bugis pepata that my father had told me, 'In lao, Teppada upe' (Everyone's destiny is different.) I may have wanted a destiny as beautiful as the Prophet and Ayesha and I think it is impossible and I am reminded of the story of Habibie and Ainun and again it is also impossible, everyone's destiny is different.
''Do not be weak, nor grieve, but you are the highest of men, if you are believers." QS. Al-imran; 139
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"And if you are concerned that there is a feud between the two, send a hakam [peacemaker] from a male family and a hakam [peace teacher] from a female family. If the two men intend to make repairs, Allah will inform the couple. Verily Allah is All-Knowing, All-Knowing. " (An Nisa' 35)"
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