Dear Imamku
Go home

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"Sometimes appointments are just sedative sentences."

Happy reading ^_^

All day, I locked myself in that gray room. While occasionally staring at the screen of my phone which now seems meaningless anymore. The condition of this apartment looks very quiet, only the sound of a wall clock that is loyal to the rhythm, and the door of this room occasionally sounds.

It feels like today is so boring, when he who was once a supporter of my life must now end. It is true, when a person is disappointed, it is very difficult to cure his disappointment.

Dear brother Farzan.

I never knew true happiness, until when I got your love. And I never knew the real pain, until I lost it. Thank you for introducing me to two flavors that I will never forget.

Dear brother Farzan.

If only I could read your mind, maybe right now I know I should continue to love you, or stop loving you.

I cape wondering that you love me so much, I cape always pray that love will always decorate our relationship, I cape with all this delusion!

Let it be, time will explain everything, time will solve this problem. God has a wonderful plan for us. Allah will not test a servant above his limits.

Geck! Geck! Geck!

The door rang again, he knocked on my door. I'm still disappointed with the problem. If I marry a widower I can still accept it but if he already has children, maybe I can't accept it yet, plus he stayed there for ten months, this is not ordinary.

I don't know, my thinking seems to be back packaging his past, it could be that he has been referring to his ex-wife on the grounds of the child and having fun for ten months. This fact feels very funny. If remembering that I feel like crying, anyone, can you make me disappear for a while? I'm tired of all this drama! If I could be honest, I hate this kind of situation! I want to leave but I love.

"Adibahs. I know you're angry, but at least eat first. If you want me to go, okay I'll do that. Adibahs... Adibahs... Adibahs. Please not the door, I will never repeat it again" he said behind the door.

I never replied to what he said. I swear I can't stand being in a position like this.

"Sometimes a promise is just a sedative sentence," I murmured.

"Well, I swear that in ten you haven't opened this door, I'll break this door, "like behind that door, "One! Two! Three!... Eight on! Just say! Ten." Ten." No more voices were heard, he said he was going to break down the door but ahh, I'm lazy with all this.

I went back to silence, my body felt suddenly stiff, cold sweat started to pour down my back. I closed my eyes, unconsciously a single tear ran down my face, why did I become so crybaby! I swear I hate it and hate it under these circumstances! The conclusion I can say right now is probably, he's just acting!

Brakk!!

Suddenly the door of my room opened, showing Farzan there. I looked at his face full of grants. Somehow how to describe the look on my face at this time, it feels like I have lost my life spirit back, my life spirit has gone a few months ago.

Farzan approached me who was leaning my body on the bed. He looked at me with a look of pity, I swear I hate being stared at like that!

I turned my face away, when he was near me. Please don't show your tears again! Please don't, just this time!

"God, you know. I miss someone who sucks, I miss the way he talks sometimes without pause, so I don't understand anything he's talking about but I really like it when he talks like that" he said. Somehow looking at her face, I never looked at her again. "i miss her reckless nature, I miss when she asks me to hug her, closing her eyes with my hands.

Kissing her while asleep, fixing the teddy bear arrangement, I also miss her hasty nature even though it's not good in religion, longing for her daily cooking-"

"I don't feel good! " grouch. He once said that my cooking was second only to Umi, but after I tried the umi cuisine, it was not good, and I also realized that my cooking was worse than the umi cuisine.

"Who said your cooking was bad? " sanyanya. I didn't look him in the face. But wait, she held my hand, why did it feel like I was so comfortable being held like this? Aghhh!

I'm silent. I must be angry, don't let down Adibah quickly, remember that!

"I love that kind of cooking, don't you remember that every dish you made I always spent? How can I spend if it is not delicious, even I want to add on if you eat your cooking, let alone sambal terasi. How do you suddenly drool? " He laughs, if I'm honest, I want to laugh too, but my ego wants something else I don't want to! "You want to make me a tidy sambal? " sanyanya.

I got up from my seat and let go of his hand that was holding me. I have to cook for him. If you say I'm not angry anymore, you're wrong, this is the husband's order, not Farzan's, remember that.

"Where are you going? " he asked after I was almost at the door.

"Zahra's house! "

"What do you do there? "

"Make chopping up her body!" annoyed me, while looking at him with a look of dislike. "Why? You mad? " i asked with a tone that might be scary, but wait, why is he smiling? Ahh sucks.

"You're beautiful when you're jealous." Whahuh? He teasing me again? Aghhhh!

"I'm not jealous! Make what? "

Farzan again laughed in a very high, annoying voice! "Your cheeks are red, that's a sign that you're jealous now."

"Smit sir, speaking every day is also red, so is he jealous? " Smit is an American bule who has settled in Parepare a few years ago, even he already understands our language.

"It was from there, his face red Adibah. "

"Maybe I'm from there too."

"No. Yesterday your face didn't turn red."

I no longer pay attention to Farzan, I continue to move back to the kitchen, especially if not to cook and make sambal terasi for him. During these ten months, I have learned many things with Aqilah, including about cooking, if possible well, she deserves to be a cook teacher, the cuisine is all good, deserves Farzan smart cooking too.

"You wanna cook? "

Astagfirullah, is he human? Came unexpectedly if he wasn't my husband, I might have chopped his body! I stroked my chest that sounded irregular again, while privileging in the heart. 'Astagfirullah'.

"You wanna cook? " he repeated the question again.

"Want me to help? " savour.

"No need, " I said in a soft tone.

"But I want to help you."

"No need. You just sit there, "pointing me towards the food welfare, "Later if I need new help call you."

"Ahh, no. That's the name I came to just need it. "

Astagfirullah. If only he wasn't my husband, maybe he was lying helpless! But he's my husband, so I have to give it all away. Woah, you must be patient at this time!

I've been trying to honor him, so God I hope he doesn't make me sin this time.

Arriving in the kitchen, I prepared everything, and Farzan sat at the dinner table and kept looking at me.

"This month, I'm on leave" he said suddenly, "Let's spend more time this month. Let me look at my wife's face more often. You know, you've been delirious like this, Kak Farzan know, what's my dream? Very simply, I just want one day my son to call you dad. If that's it, I totally agree that's also my dream long ago."

"Sister Farzan is so chatty! " grouch. I swear I'm ashameduuuhh! Is it true I ever said that? Maybe, Dad said I often delirious during sleep, embarrassing! "I want to concentrate on cooking this! What if I had the cooking scorched because Farzan's brother was too chatty? Brother Farzan wants to eat that? "

"If you are near me, in shaa Allah everything will turn out to be good." Look, he teased me back.

"So for ten months while you were away what food did you eat then still taste good? " tanyaku.

Silence, maybe he's not good with my words, ah let it be! Did he think of me when he left that day? No kan! I went back to the pending work. Suddenly he said to me, "At that moment, everything felt strange, when I wanted to prove that the boy was not my son, but destiny had another will, it turned out that the boy was my son and I didn't know what to do then. Do I have to go home to tell you that Zahra's son is my son too or stay there to fulfill my responsibilities. " I looked at Farzan's face. "And I finally chose to go all the way between you. Ah, I don't know how that stupid decision came! "

Did Farzan live with Zahra? So all this time he was the same as me!

I approached Farzan, who was standing up, and hugged him. "Why not say it from the beginning? Huh! Why hide this! Do you think I'm a child? Huh!," I said, hugging Farzan. "You think ten months without news doesn't hurt? You don't think I'm tired of coming here looking for information about you, even Massa and Aqilah don't know where you are. "

"Abi, Umi, Aqilah and Eza, actually know where I am. I told him not to tell you. "

"Why? So you can go crazy in there? Huh uh? You are really selfish! You go out there and hope all your problems will go away, but don't you? Is everything improving? Was there any answer during Farzan's departure? " I took my arms off her, then held her cheeks using both of my hands. "Far off is not an answer. Never decide to leave when you have a problem, everything will be in vain and useless, you will not find an answer during your departure" I whispered.

Brother Farzan kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry. I swear I will not go if it is not you who told me to go" murmured Farzan, "Trust me, everything will improve, In Shaa Allah, His plan is much more beautiful. I have one question, when you have many opportunities to leave, why didn't you leave at that time? ."

"I'm just learning to be an adult, who is always patient in any situation even though I can't."

"You are capable, you are very capable. " Kak Farzan hugged my body again, I swear I miss this hug so much. "May you be the one chosen by God who will complete and perfect my religion and become a good woman among the best"

"Aamiinu. But Brother Farzan, when does this embrace end? I want to cook the thing," I said while keeping my body a little away from Brother Farzan.

"Do you know cooking? " ask Brother Farzan. I looked into his bead of eyes deeply while nodding his question earlier. "Learn from whom? "

"Aqilahs. The cooking is so good. Aqilah said, You learn the cooking the same way he said."

Farzan nodded. "Yes I learned with him. When High School first, he majored in Boga he said, actually his ideals were chef but now his s2 of medicine. "

"Good dong. Like you, Pinter heals his patients, and so on."

"Talk about cooking, when is our wedding reception held? " he said after I got a few meters away from him, "Do you know when? "

I smiled in response to his words. "I guess you don't remember about this anymore."

"I always remember it and will never forget it" he said. "When do you want the recipe? "

"Next month? " tarku.

"What about next week? "

"Too fast if that. "

"But my decision is already unanimous, so the reception, next week. " Well, why wait for my opinion if finally his opinion is taken? Lately I have to do a lot of work if he is with her, especially a month later he will be on leave. "But next week, what about pre-wedding photos? Or are we just gonna postpone next month? How's it?"

I smiled ignorantly. Maybe it's time to play Farzan, maybe it won't matter. "But I want it next week! don't talk twice" I said, pretending to be angry with him.

"Jaudah is okay. Pre-wedding is tomorrow." Huh huh? What do I have to do now? Tomorrow I'm going to father's funeral with Fauzi! This master's dinner weapon is his name.

"Don't tomorrow. I want a list of lectures tomorrow," I said. If Farzan finds out, tomorrow Fauzi and I will go to my father's funeral and be alone together, somehow angry Farzan later.

Brother Farzan approached me. "I'll drop off to your faculty, after our list of new photos. "

My mind feels spinning. How's now? "Hemm, no need. How about Brother Farzan wait for me here, after the new list, wedding photos," I bargained, hopefully accepted soon.

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Dear brother Farzan.

I never knew true happiness, until when I got your love. And I never knew the real pain, until I lost it. Thank you for introducing me to two flavors that I will never forget.

Dear brother Farzan.

If only I could read your mind, maybe right now I know I should continue to love you, or stop loving you.

I cape wondering that you love me so much, I cape always pray that love will always decorate our relationship, I cape with all this delusion!

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