Dear Imamku
In Love or Loving

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

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"I'm looking at the face of the father of my children."

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      Thankfully, my eyes were able to function again after a pretty stressful operation, this was the first time I could see since the tragedy and the first person I saw was, Farzan, the man who is always loyal to me unless his working time comes, he will leave me replaced by Aqilah or Umi.

     When you believe that after adversity is happiness, every problem and test is always a silver lining and after tears are flowing is a smile, verily, you have done a great service of prejudice against Allah.

      Look now, God give me back what is best for me, a man with a dimple on his left cheek, a man who patiently faces the childishness I have, and the perfect man after the father I had, almost as perfect as the father.

     I also thank God for restoring my vision to see that beauty again, I do not know how to see my gratitude for You.

     “Have eaten the porridge? “ asked Farzan with his trademark smile. And once again I thank You, O God.

     “Not yet. Not yet added the point,” I said while chuckling.

      Farzan then pulled my nose, until it hurt. I saw my life that had turned red. “Ih, brother Farzan! It hurts! “ pissed. But look, he's laughing, bitch!

     “Yes already, if it hurts.  Do I want to heal? “ bargains that I didn't care about. But wait! Farzan brought his face closer to mine and kissed my nose. Oh my God, brother Farzan bawdymm!!!

    I pinched Farzan's waist so he could keep his face away from me. “Kak Farzan, there are umi! “ Sendari was umi was there, and brother Farzan unhappily kissed me in front of umi.

     He let out a crisp laugh then looked at the Umi that was behind him. Oh my God, I swear I'm ashamed! If only I could run away, I'd get away from them. Kak Farzan does not know the situation, wear all kiss events!

     “Umi don't tell me this incident yes, “ said kak Farzan while laughing. He's laughing at me!

     “Kak Farzan, evil huh! “ pissed.

     Wallahi, I'm so embarrassed. Umi looked at us with a smile full of questions.

     “Tomorrow we will go home yes,” said Farzan, as if understanding my will. Thank goodness he was like this.

     I'm nodding. “But brother Farzan, tomorrow buy me a teddy bear yes. Entar Adibah do the duty of a wife deh, cooking and others. ” I blinked, for Farzan to agree to my request.

     “Bby.” Farzan brought his head closer.“But I will also do my duty as a husband, “ rich while whispering.

     I immediately pushed Farzan's body. Why did my thinking get there? O Allah, erase this strange thought Adibah!

     Umi, who was busy playing her phone, is now staring spontaneously at us. While Brother Farzan even smile innocently, if biting brother Farzan is not sin, I will do it!

     Jeez umi, why ask this? “Urusan husband and wife umi,” said umi, then laughed again. What was his hobby this time laughing like crazy? Nauzubillah, I take back my words O God.

     Everyone can change when God turns his heart over nothing is impossible just the process of changing someone differently, some take a long time there is also only need a moment depending on how he gets the guidance. And Allah has awakened me from the foolish things I have done, I thought what I did was good, and vice versa.

     Dear imam, thank you for still patiently facing my attitude all this time.

     Recalling the words of Buya Yahya Zainul Ma'Arif, The undeniable sign of love is unwillingness if the loved one sins. And I have felt that, being with Farzan.

     Let us lose something because of Allah, lest we lose Allah for something.Habib Shech bin Abdul Qadir Assegaf.

     “Still report? Let's eat back, “ peech Farzan while pointing the spoon to my mouth.

     My gaze never escaped from the face of Farzan, for God's sake, it felt like I saw happiness there. In shaa Allah, you will be the father of our children. I still have a question in myself, from a long time ago I really wanted to have a child but to open the hijab in front of her, at a time like that I was very embarrassed, she said, but when Fauzi got me into mediocrity, I realized I was an inappropriate woman for Farzan, but I was trying to be the woman he deserved.

    “Why see me like that? “ ask kak Farzan with his plain face.

     “I was looking at the face of the father of my children, “ I said. Maybe I have lost consciousness now. Until my consciousness returned, I immediately shut my mouth tightly, why should I talk like that?

    Look, Farzan's laughing at me. “It's smart to flick? “

    “Follow brother Farzan! It's full already! “ pissed.

     "You when you're angry, the beauty is gone. "I know she's talking like that on purpose, so I can smile. Feeling no response from me, he put the plate on the table. "You know this fact of physics. Someone didn't breathe when he smiled" he said, I spontaneously copied what Farzan said, and I finally realized that he managed to make me smile.

     "Thank you for understanding what my heart wants without me telling you, for understanding how to make my anger go away. And Brother Farzan can also understand my childish nature all this time. Once again thank you very much for all this happiness Brother Farzan."  I don't know why I suddenly had this much courage to say this to Farzan.

     Farzan hugged me. For now, Umi is out because she is receiving a call from someone. "But I don't want to thank you, but I will thank God for sending a woman like you. And I don't know that after you, my life has meant so much. "

    By Allah, I am very happy now that I can again feel this kind of happiness. If I may want every day to be like this, that I may always be grateful for my life.

     "Sister Farzan. I'm still hungry, "I said on the sidelines of our arms.

     "When it was nice to hug my wife, "he said, I just laughed at her words. Is he now a child now?

     "But after coming home from the hospital, you have to do your duty as a wife. " I pinched Farzan again, why is he talking like this again? He looks grimacing while rubbing his waist that I pinched earlier. "But I only ask to be spiced because some days I always sleep in a sitting position. What's wrong? " Astagfirullah, I just realized, the obligation of a wife is not only that, but many more. Why do my thoughts always lead to it?

    I just smile, feel guilty? Sure. Maybe Farzan will think strange things to me! It sucks!

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Let us lose something because of Allah, lest we lose Allah for something.Habib Shech bin Abdul Qadir Assegaf.

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     My hope this time is very interesting. Aamiins.

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Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi.