Dear Imamku
Curhatan Naufal

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

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Sometimes a person wants to be like dusk, in the old face by the person who loves his presence.

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Staring at dusk through the glass is not much different when out looking at him directly, I do not know why God is so giving beauty like this to twilight, maybe one of them to make me jealous. Though she is very beautiful but can break a lot of people's hearts when she leaves the audience, not polite? But I also as a connoisseur can draw the conclusion from here, that the beautiful will not come twice, and sometimes the admired so do not know the shame, why is it like that? She came with a beautiful light making pairs of eyes admire her beauty and after all that, she suddenly left. Sucks.

No one needs to regret, live everything in shaa Allah there will be a perfect path there. I can learn from the story of the prophet Ayyub a.s who was tested by God, he remained patient even though he had to lose everything including his family even when the disease hit him, and he was so firm to God, and he was so steadfast, and I should have learned from there, I'm an ordinary man but I wanted to try to be patient.

Is not in the end the happiness of the world also obtained by the prophet Ayyub? By God's permission I might be like that. Is there anything better than prayer? Right.

If I'm honest, I'm not too sure about my decision to divorce Adibah but I have to because I'm afraid that she can't get into heaven, how could it be that the smell of heaven alone is haram for the woman who asked to be talak to her husband, Shahi from the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam that he said, " whichever woman asks for divorce from her husband, it is illegal for her to smell heaven." HR. Abu Dawud: 2226, Darimi: 2270, Ibn Majah 2055, Amad: 5/283, with sanad hasan.

One way that I can get through this, maybe invite my old friend to re-nonstalgia, he was Abdul my pesantren friend, we were reunited through the marriage of Jihan, Adibah's friend, Adibah's friend, somehow every time I remember it like this, I mean there is a sense of disappointment.

"Sometimes someone wants to be like dusk, in the old face by the person who loves his presence," said Abdul who finally opened his voice. I smiled in response, I still wanted to enjoy the beauty of that twilight.

"But sometimes twilight hurts, he knows that we want his presence for a long time but he innocently leaves" I said with eyes still focused on the twilight.

"What other problems do you have? " I looked at him directly, can he still guess my mood? "You're a very easy person to guess, Rayhan. " Abdul always called me Rayhan or Zan.

"I'm Adibah's mentality, "I said with a hand that was already holding a forehead, which suddenly hurt.

I saw Abdul surprised to hear what I said just now, not only did Abdul feel this, I was sure Adibah too. I'm in a dilemma right now.

"Ma shaa Allah, Rayhan, you are aware of what you said just now? Marriage is sacred that can only be done once in a lifetime, why do you like this Marriage is also a lifetime, Zan."

"I'm just as disappointed as you are Abdul, I'm also disappointed in myself, even very disappointed. I promised not to leave him, but I wickedly reneged on that promise, "I said.

"Why should you divorce her? " ask Abdul.

"Private," I said. I can't possibly tell her my personal problems in as much detail as possible, right?

"Gua knows lo Zan, you the guy was too quick to make a decision, gua knows your decision this time must not be good, you know the decision, especially when the cave saw Adibah type of girl how and the cave wife also said that Adibah was a good girl. " You're so right Abdul, so right, it's just that he wasn't lucky to have me. Can I laugh at myself right now? It's hilarious! "Try it, you keep telling me the good lo problem, do not immediately break like this. You won't be able to calm down if you're like this Zan. "

"Later consider this Abdul. I still can't talk to him. While with me he was rarely happy, "

"Lo is wrong, in the face that he is very in love with you Zan. You should be able to take responsibility, you make him love, should also be able to keep him until the end of your life," said Abdul.

"I'm not like you, can examine someone's face well. I just saw people's faces for a while people have misbehaved, not good, " lamented.

"Eat him, so humans do not need to be greedy. Udah have dimples even have a handsome face also you have a complete package name it, cheating. "

Abdul laughed. "Disruptions that interest many people. "

"Yes right to the point that there is an operation just to have dimples, thank goodness me, umi, and Aqilah are natural. "

"By the way first love cave how? " What Abdul meant by first love was my sister, Aqilah, she liked my sister a lot since umi and abi came to the orphanage, and back to the first chapter, the soul mate is in the hands of God, the proof is that Abdul cannot marry Aqilah even though the struggle is very big to have Aqilah. "She said it was a bit of a child, huh? "

"Alhamdulillah. But I hope there's no CLBK well, "my word then laughs.

May honest? I'm a very bad person, I make Adibah feel very hit and here casually I can laugh freely as if I have no problem, hypocritical right? Want to laugh at yourself.

"No, the cave is so dear that the cave has, the cave is better grateful for what the cave has rather than forcing the destiny to have him who clearly already belongs to someone else, and the cave was also very happy for having Jihan in the cave life, "she said with a beautiful smile emanating on her lips.

"Thank God, you can be grateful for what you have."

"Only the woman the cave married was so innocent, Zan," he whispered right in my ear.

I smiled, remembering how innocent Adibah used to be. I just found out why the woman is so innocent, seen from her friend alone can be explained.

Abdul's cell phone now reads stop our conversation temporarily. I looked at Abdul's face and asked him who?

"Mine," he said. Very romantic, hopefully like this continues, let alone I know how Abdul man, he will take care of whatever status belongs to him and accept it, for example only the scars on his face are still there, he said, it was a sign of our quarrel.

"Told to go home, huh? " tanyaku. Abdul put his index finger on his lips, a sign he told me to be quiet.

I can hear Abdul's words with Jihan as if their marriage was earlier than mine.

"Why is that? You where? " ask Abdul to someone across the street.

"..."

"Adibah? "

Hearing Adibah's name being mentioned, my heart oath cannot be controlled. I immediately got up from my seat. "Adibah why? " take a question to Abdul.

"I'm the same Farzan. "

"..."

"Yes I went there immediately, " said Abdul to someone there. He doesn't care about my question. "Zan, Adibah!" he said with Fanik.

"Don't panic me, Abdul! " grouch. "Adibah why? "

"So Jihan got a call from Adibah and after she found Adibah unconscious, she fainted. And the fetus in the womb is also weakened, "he said. Wait, didn't I hear wrong? Contents? A fetus? Is pregnancy what it means?

"You mean Adibah's pregnant? " manyu make sure.

"Jihan said like that, he sounded very panicked Zan. Gu-" had not yet had time for Abdul to finish his words, I had already left.

Why am I like this? My memory goes back to the words of Adibah. He hasn't finished his words yet but I've said those stupid words! I'm frustrating, you idiot! You idiot! You idiot! I've put two lives at risk now, my son and my wife. Oh God, why am I this stupid!

If Adibah and my son were to come to nothing I would never be able to forgive myself, this is really all because of my stupidity. Why am I like that?

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