Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
Undecided

The next two days, I rubbed my hands in satisfaction. I spread my eyes, once again making sure everything has been neatly arranged and perfectly. I stared at the clock on the wall. The hour hand shows half ten o'clock in the evening and all our work is done. It was a pleasure because it was the first time for me and Nandini to celebrate Eid in the real sense, and we were very enthusiastic about getting everything ready. Although there are many workers, we still intervene directly beautify the house with knick-knacks. So, Lebaran day is a busy day, but it is exciting and fun.

After cleaning, rearrange the layout of the furniture and decorate the house in the morning, we spent all afternoon helping Aunt Heera cook a meal menu for all the families and guests who would visit our home tomorrow. Because, tomorrow afternoon, after returning from the ied prayer service and going on pilgrimage to the family cemetery, HansH held an open house at home for hotel employees, which was, and also for the employees of Mahesvara company which is now under the leadership of Kak Sanjeev, as every year this event he held.

Well, it's all done and exactly, the roar of the car engine in the basement area, that means HansH and Vikram are home. Nandini and I walked to the door and opened it to welcome those who came home from the mosque, celebrate the night of the takbir and distribute leafan parcels to the surrounding residents. HansH and Vikram got out of the car and we walked over.

Hugging, we headed for the pavilion. There is something HansH wants to talk to me about, he said. I can capture the seriousness of the way he talks.

"So what's up? You seem to be serious" I said.

HansH had just changed his clothes and finished cleaning in the bathroom. We sat next to each other on the sofa.

"I just got home from the clinic."

"Lo's? How about the clinic?"

"So I got the info, there was a baby that his mother left in one of the hotel rooms."

"Died so born? Wh why? Does your mother have money?"

HansH puts his shoulders. "No idea" he said. "But it seems like it was deliberately left behind, maybe a child out of wedlock. And worse, she is a migrant, a young girl who is still a student. Now I don't know where he's gone."

"Geez, what a pity."

HansH smiled broadly. "Who is sorry? His son or his mother?"

"Both."

"If I, anyway, pity the baby."

"Em, yeah, anyway. How's the baby?"

I was stunned to hear HansH's words. "Pity, yes," I murmured.

HansH who didn't hear me mutter again spoke, "His baby is cute, honey. I was able to look at the clinic. I was thinking it looks like you. White, her eyes are beautiful, they're beautiful."

"Oh, baby girl?"

HansH nodded. "I don't want to call the police. Do not want also if this incident was publicly smelled or deliberately humiliated the girl who deliberately wanted to avoid the embarrassment. So let it be. If his mother wants to take the boy, he'll come alone, right?"

"Yes" I said.

"We're sleeping, yuk?"

"Em." I got up to welcome HansH's hand and followed him to the bed.

While lying on my side, I looked at HansH, but my mind drifted to the clinic, to the nursery. I imagine a baby like me crying in a crib. Something inside the deepest recesses of my heart was writhing. Suddenly feeling restless.

Late that night I was sitting on the couch. Repeatedly taking a deep breath.

Fretted. Uneasily. Munchies.

HansH's story is troubling my mind. Why am I like this? The shadow of a baby with a monto* cheek in the box kept dancing in my mind. That shadow can't get out of my mind. That's why I can't close my eyes.

I know my marriage to HansH is a corny one, and it doesn't matter if we haven't been acting as parents in this time. But why do I keep thinking about the baby, as if it was time? I felt as if the baby had been sent to me by God.

The more I tried to find answers to my anxiety, the more my heart was erratic and finally came to a point - - worry!

I walked back to bed. HansH is sleeping. I sat on the bedside and looked down, looking at his face. After a while I got into bed and sat cross-legged watching HansH's face close, I recalled his smile as he told me about the baby. For some reason, I felt that even though HansH had said nothing to me, it was as if he was signaling to me that he wanted us to adopt the baby. Now, in the dimness of the bedroom, I considered whether it was time for me to adopt a child and become a mother.

Is this what God wants?