Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
Dalu....

I'm grateful. Not only a place to live and work, I even have friends to live with me in a foreign country. And luckily again, I liked Amanda's playful personality, which was exactly the same as Neha's.

Ah, my best friend, just saying his name makes me miss. He must be in the fog right now. Yeah, because of me.

Sure enough, a few minutes before the plane we were boarding took off, I had time to activate my phone. There were so many incoming messages and missed calls on my phone from Neha, even from HansH and Kak Sanjeev as well. They found out about my departure sooner than I expected. Yep, because of HansH, he's already back at Neha's apartment to see me. And Neha became confused because when she wanted to call me to the room, all she found under the blanket was a bolster pillow, and a letter I wrote to her. I don't know if he'll tell HansH about the letter or not, I don't know.

》 Why are you leaving? I told you I'd always be by your side, why did you leave? You don't think about my feelings, Zia. You're making me even more disappointed.

Oh.. whatsapp from Neha pierced my heart. But I see, he didn't mean to get angry at me. He just spills his emotions as a form of disappointment.

Sorry, Neha. Ii'm sorry.

Ting!

Whatsapp messages are back in. From HansH.

》 Honey where are you going? Please, please come back to me, Alisah. Don't leave me. You promised you wouldn't leave. Tell me, where are you now? I'm begging....

He's lookingfor me. He still calls me Alisah. Then he hasn't read my letter. If he had read my letter, he would not have looked for me like this, not to beg me to come back. Maybe he'll find me to kill me.

I shiver between the warm faces. Withstand water lumps that are ready to break through the corners of the eyes. But I know it was just a waste. I can't possibly hold back. I cried sobbing.

For a few minutes after my phone was activated, all I thought about was how fucked up life is. Sometimes we find certain things, good things, that give meaning to everything, and when we find them, we should be allowed to keep them. It should not have been taken from us. Yeah, good things shouldn't be taken.

And now I again wonder, to myself, to God: why is it that I am not destined to have a family? Why is this solitude repeated - - as little Zia had experienced in the past? Wh why?

Oh, Zia... You decided to leave, right? You started a mess in your life anyway. You're a fool for not thinking long, you're a fool for obeying Kak Sanjeev's request. Don't blame fate. You wrote your own bad destiny. You're....

"You why?" Amanda asked.

I just nodded and tried to smile.

"Daddy!" ledek. "If you want to act, don't be in front of me. I know, a model like this, must be because she's heartbroken, right? You want to escape to Korea? Avoiding problems? Huh uh?"

Lightly, Amanda chuckled to see me bowed in lethargy. I know he's typical of outspoken people like Neha. So, despite my sluggish bow, I was not at all offended by his words. He didn't mean to offend me anyway.

I put my shoulders down. "Looks like you're more experienced at heartbreak, hmm?"

"You're taunting me? You...!"

Haha! Now it's my turn to smile and laugh at him. Amanda's a fun friend.

Like Neha....

"Have it. Heartbreak is a matter of course, my friend. You will get used to it for a long time. Now just turn your phone off and we're flying to Korea. Then change the new simcard. If you can't be cruel to yourself, your past can never pass. Trust me."

Waw! I clapped my hands in excitement as I giggled, intending to tease Amanda with her sweet advice.

"You are, I am talking seriously, you know! Besides, my advice is one hundred percent right, you're kidding me, being teased. Fuck up!"

Muffling with laughter, I thanked Amanda and followed her wise advice. "I'm just kidding, man. I know what you're saying is true. You're wise. At least smart enough. So, all right, I'll deactivate my phone now."

Amanda thumbs up to me.

Click! My phone's off, and I put it in my handbag.

"Why, by the way, can you easily trust me to the point that you're taking me to live with you?"

Jahil, Amanda smiled then blinked her eyes. "Why do you think?"

Boost. "I don't know," I said. "Why did you ask back? You're this!"

"Simple, really. I fell in love at first sight. I love you...."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Amanda laughed at me, wide open, until the sound of her laughter invited many pairs of eyes to glance at us.

Hmm... basic...!

"Your flirting isn't funny, you know!"

"Casual, dong...!"

"You're crazy!"

"O yeah? Sometimes in life you need to cross a little bit."

Meanin?

"Life is not that exciting flat, honey. Face the problem with a smile and a little madness. Let's not stress."

Back, I put my shoulder down. "Normally acting like you is...."

"Personal who have been hurt. Hmm?"

"Hu 'um. Wounds too deep."

"Yeah, I've been hurt. So I can enjoy life. Wounds like anything will no longer be able to make me fall."

But you make me wonder, what kind of wound have you ever felt?

But that question is not answered. I'm afraid to offend Amanda and even hurt her ego.

"Ehm, now please answer my question seriously. Why do you believe me?"

Amanda smile. "Insting," he said. "I think you're a good girl. And my instincts are usually right. I rarely misjudge someone."

Hmm. He thinks I'm a good person. But he was wrong. I'm a criminal. Impostors. In fact, I am a murderer.

Geez, I recalled the events a few hours ago. I killed people. What if Amanda finds out? He would not believe me like this.

"Hey, why?"

I'm shaking. Shrugging his shoulders, he asked, "Why does your instinct tell me I'm a good person?"

"Eitherway. But I'm typical of people who judge outward appearance as well. You're hijab."

Oh? Instantly I realized there was a mistake in Amanda's assessment of me.

"You must be a good girl. A muslimah. In a country as big as England and a metropolitan life full of freedom, but you're in a hijab, you must be a devout Muslim, right?"

I'm shaking. "Sorry to disappoint you, Amanda. But.. everyday I don't wear the hijab."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Amanda. Sorry...."

"But...?"

"I was from the mosque, so I was hijab. Sorry, yeah, if...?"

He nodded in understanding. "But you're beautiful. You deserve to wear the hijab. And, yeah, I'm happy to be friends with Muslims, especially those who are diligent in prayer and teaching. Make adem."

Hmm... What should I say now?