Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
Disappointment

"Sister, listen to me. I'm not getting married to you. You hear that? I'm not getting married to you. And whether you like it or not, I'm getting married to HansH. He's willing to accept whatever my circumstances are."

No. gabe. It wasn't enough to stop Sanjeev. Confidently he said, "Don't just be blinded by love you don't think long!"

Argha!

"Whatchu mean? Hm? You, you don't think long! Because you're all this happening. I'm like this because of you! Because selfishness! Because you! You're selfish! And now, now you're saying I didn't think long? You're not sane? You can say that."

My emotions were explosive, for a moment I was so angry at the figure of the man I had always been proud of, but at this moment, the sense of pride and harmonious relationship seemed completely unfrozen. As if completely destroyed.

However, in the next second, somehow and how, I quickly felt that I had reached the point where I had to stop, not to blame myself again. I nodded like a madman. "I'm sorry" I said. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I am the guilty one. I never should have said I love you. And. I. I should not indulge your madness, your revenge, I should not change my identity. I shouldn't have obeyed you when you asked me for a facial surgery. I was wrong. I'm. I'm stupid. I'm idiots. I don't think long. I was wrong. I was wrong and not you. Not."

"Zoe...." Neha looked at me helplessly in the doorway.

Meanwhile, exactly one meter in front of me, Brother Sanjeev dropped himself on the floor, kneeling before me. "I'm wrong about all this. Not you."

I don't have an answer for that. "Everything has happened, whether you or I, we are both wrong. I'm stupid. I killed Zia and brought Alisah back to life. But I can't ruin my life more than this. Can you understand that, brother? I want to fix my life. Repair, not repeat from the beginning. So, please, let me live as Alisah and let me marry HansH. Zia is dead. You heard that, right? Your sister is dead. Now leave. Get out of my life. And you, you can only show yourself again in front of me when you can accept reality. If not, you don't care about me anymore. Just it!"

Sanjeev shook his head. "I can't."

"I don't care!"

"I love you, Zia. I love you so much."

"As a brother only. Can't be more. Control your feelings."

I pronounce! Returns that line to Brother Sanjeev who told me once when he rejected my love on Christmas Eve.

"I can't believe you said that. You're so sure about that at Christmas...."

I glared at him. "That's a mistake!"

I don't know if he's booing me or not, but somehow his tone irritates me. He thinks I'm still in love with him. If he thinks so, how big is his head?

"Sister, enough! Please, enough! Okay?"

Brother Sanjeev stood up, while resting on his waist in the middle of the room, he frowned at me, but I felt his emotions begin to recede. "Alright, enough of the explosion. Now think about it, you just know HansH, you don't know him enough to know if he'll regret your relationship after marriage, and if he'll be able to accept that flaw, right? But with me, we are used to each other, togetherness that never leaves each other, never even judgment on any flaws, and never demands more. Think about it, Zia. We can live for each other, forever. Please think about it."

"I just want to marry HansH. Whatever the risk is."

He didn't say. All of a sudden he looked so fragile, in a way I had never seen - as if a word from me would smash him into a hundred million pieces.

This doesn't take us anywhere. Softened, I walked up to him and patted his back. "Meet me again if you ever get back to straightening this relationship. When you thought your sister was alive. You understand what I mean, right? Your sister, not your lover. Now can you go and think things over? Please, go."

For a moment he looked at me with a hurt feeling, but as if his tongue was already so twisted, he said nothing and finally stepped foot.

Meanwhile, I, I was watching him leave with my heart feeling so heavy. Yesterday I was sure we had returned to the fraternity that I longed for so much. But now, it felt as if new complexities were waiting in line to overlap.

And now I feel more tightness than I've ever felt. Destiny toyed me. I spent at least four years of my life cultivating what I thought was true love for Mr. Sanjeev, only to be dumped back to my face late last year then resurrected now. On the other hand, I've devoted the last months of my life to everything that was washed away - the love that gave me the happiness of a man who wanted my love.

"I've understood everything" Neha said as she wrapped her hands around me, so tightly, it made me realize the situation around me again, and myself, I cried as much as I could. Groaning, growling. Feel the pain after hurting the heart that I really want to keep. "I understand everything, but I won't blame you for lying to me. You're keeping the real reason behind your change of identity a secret."

Unable to cover anything anymore, I nodded. "Sorry," I said. "I'm sorry. I just want to protect Brother Sanjeev. I don't want anyone to judge him, let alone hate him. But this is not the fault of Mr. Sanjeev completely. I was wrong. I was stupid for following him. You, you can hate me, Neha. I'm guilty."

"I can't judge you, Zia. Wrong or not, I cannot judge that. But I assure you. I. I am still here. I'm still there for you. I don't know if I'm going to interfere next with your problem or not, but as a body, I'll always be by your side. That's all I can say right now."

My eyes closed. I understood the meaning of Neha's convoluted strand of words: she was very disappointed in me. "I'm sorry, Neha. Sorry I let you down."

"Don't talk about this now. We both need time to clear our minds. Now I'll make you some juice. I think you need a break. You want some sleeping pills?"

Oh my God, the only person who has always understood me, now he is this disappointed in me. And now -- for some reason - I seem to be on the verge of collapse.