Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
Nano-Nano!

Nano...!

That's how I feel right now. On the one hand I felt very relieved to find myself saved from the two bastards who were about to rape me, but on the other hand I also felt guilty for having committed the murder, and, but, but, part of my heart also confirmed my actions, especially when I remembered how disgusting the struggle between the three of us was, how disgusting it was when the man's mouth was wild in my mouth, let alone that he had peppered my chest. Argha! How disgusting! I washed many times my chest and nape my neck with soap and rinsed it clean, but the traces of red stains that were on my body as well as my memory of the struggle still made me feel like I was stained.

Oh, My HansH, if you had fucked me, it wouldn't have been like this. On the contrary, I would be happy if you left a trace of love in my body. But then I shook my head. No, Zia. Do not dissolve in this heartbreaking tragedy. Forget everything. Okay well? Forget everything.

Yeah, I'm getting out of the bathroom. With the hair on the towel and the body wrapped around the towel, I stood in front of the mirror, on Neha's dressing table with a wide variety of cosmetic tools.

"Yuhuuu...!" exclaim Neha who just entered the room with a large plate of various seafood with extra spicy sambal. "This will make your feelings much better. Trust me."

Neha chuckled while I was amused to see it. He ordered that much seafood for both of us. Sori, kuralat, to listen to my story from beginning to end. I know his intention.

"Please put that on the table first and help me disguise this red mark on my body."

That easy. Neha expertly applied the mekap tool. "What's it like to hurt?"

"Em, good," I said. "It hurts to be touched. Please slow down."

Neha nodded, doing her duty as she chatted, "It's a pity for you. Luckily, HansH came quickly. Otherwise, it would be worse than this. I can't imagine that you've actually been through that rape."

He's mistaken.

"Neha" I said. "HansH didn't come on time."

Instantly Neha glared. "Seriously? So. ls...? But you survived? You're the one who managed to take them down?" leaping Neha to me.

"Even more than that. I killed them."

In that second Neha's face paled. "You...? You killed them? You're... Zia?"

I nodded my head and looked at my friend who was still dumbfounded. "I'd really have experienced that rape if I didn't take the opportunity to shoot them."

"Oh my goodness, please," Neha muttered. "So now...?" He's getting restless. "I mean... The police... The police won't arrest you, right? How about...? Zia, I'm afraid.I'm afraid of you...."

I'm shaking. "will not. I hope that what we fear will not happen. HansH can handle everything. He could have protected me. I'm certain. Calm down."

"Thank God." Neha's tears came back and she hugged me. "I don't want you to do anything. I'm scared, Zia."

Oh best friend. Lately I've been making her cry a lot. "Here you go, this is not the time to cry. Better quickly help me cover up this *upang-*upang. It's disgusting."

Neha let go of her embrace and re-polished my skin with mekap. "But later tonight don't bring sleep, yeah. Don't forget to clean. Who knows if it could turn your wound into an infection."

I smile. "thank you. You're so considerate."

"Yeah, same. Now explain to me, why would you admit that you were raped?"

Neha's forehead immediately frowned as usual. "I don't understand, what do you mean? Why should I be envious? They should be grateful, right?"

"They've experienced the same thing. Kidnapped and raped. Precisely spun by many men."

Again Neha's face paled. Even as if for a moment. "They've experienced this event?"

I'm nodding. "Because of the deeds of the same people, for the same reason. The people who are vengeful to HansH for business."

"Oh my God, Zia, does that mean your lives are always in danger?"

I put my shoulders down. "Yeah, like that. But you have to promise, never tell anyone about this. Including to Nandini. Pretend you don't know anything. I don't want Nandini to think I'm pail-mouthed and can't hold a secret. You got it, right?"

Neha nodded in understanding. "definitely. I won't tell this to anyone. I-i promise. But, Zia, hasn't Nandini always been nice to you? Why are you even afraid..he envies your safety?"

"No. I'm not worried about Nandini. I mean not too. Only, who knows the depth of the human heart, right? You'll never know until fate says otherwise."

Again, Neha nodded in understanding. "I think you're right. Instead of bad things happening later, he better feel sympathy for you because he feels that you are lucky. I see, right, you mean?"

"It's true."

"And about Sheveni...?"

"You know how it is."

"Hu 'um. He'll be jealous if you survive. But when he finds out you're not safe, he'll be happy. He's grateful instead of sympathetic to you."

I smiled wryly. "I know," I said. "It's gonna be like that."

"You're too kind to have to think about her feelings. Though his attitude towards you is zero."

And all because of Joshi. Your ex-boyfriend, Neha....

"You are, but you are smiling" Neha protested, and she was so anxious that she pressed the foundation foam onto my wound.

Ughhhh! I grimaced to feel her pain. "I'm not a good ass. But you know how I am, I don't have any siblings. I'm not like you or like them. I don't want HansH and his sisters to keep fighting because of my presence. While I can't leave HansH either. I love her so much, Neha. So it's okay, I'm willing to sacrifice my feelings for HansH. For the sake of brotherhood they remain intact. At least they don't keep fighting because of me."

"I understand" said Neha. "You don't want his sisters to think that their brother failed to save them, while you, HansH, would be considered successful in saving you. I see, right?"

Ah, he's my best friend. He knows and understands me so much. "Yes. They won't believe I saved myself. Especially about the two bodies of the man, if Sheveni finds out I killed the criminals, he won't hesitate to report me to the police, will he? And that's for sure."

"But you broke HansH's feelings, Zia. Poor him."

The feeling of tightness goes back into the chest. "I knew. But there will be consequences in every way, won't there?"