Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
Decisions

Like a ticking ticking time bomb, the lies I kept on making me uneasy all the time considering my relationship with everyone was not okay. Brother Sanjeev, although I know that my affection for me may never go away even if he is disappointed and hates me because I love HansH, but I am sure, from his heart as my brother, he said, unfortunately, it will always be in his heart. So does Neha's affection for me as a friend who is even like her own sister, even though she is currently disappointed in me a mountain high, I am sure she will always love me. But the burden in my heart has already accumulated, alarming, I will not be able to calm down if these burdens are not released immediately. And I know I'd better get out of the way right now, make room for myself as well for everyone around me, for us each other.

Yeah, even if I knew that if I was apart and I wasn't in front of them, my loved ones, that's a possibility --and definitely - that would make them worry about my situation, but being in close proximity to them, I really felt depressed. It was as if there was a gap between us, and that distant attitude felt as cold as a freezing winter. And this is obviously torturing the mind. And I am sure, the solution to my problem is only one: to parse this problem with honesty although it is likely that my honesty will cause new problems. But I'm sure, no matter how bad the problems I'm going to face as a consequence of my honesty, they'll be better than the consequences that arise when the time bomb goes off on its own.

Yeah, a big explosion. And that time bomb I won't be able to keep under control because I don't have the remote control. You even know, when the second-time bomb keeps going while the remote control is not there and you're not a bomb disposal expert, it's going to explode, it's not going to fall apart - and it's like a proverb: the common sense of the time bomb exploding means much more dangerous than the meaning of the carcass that smells even though everything is hidden.

So my decision has been unanimous, rather than me continuing to lie and always restless, and in the end it will still be revealed as well, I better be honest right now. The situation was already in a state of chaos, and, HansH's feelings were being shattered, all of them more broken now: in one moment at the same time.

Yeah, I'll be honest with HansH that I'm not Alisah. But I can't possibly tell you that directly. I dare not face your disappointment. I'm scared, My HansH....

That's why I decided to write a letter.

I don't know how to start - to tell you about my lies that I'm not Alisah. I'm not your lover.

I'm Zia, the masked girl who accidentally hit you at Birmingham Christmas Market. The girl crying on the shore of Cannon Hill Park, who you handkerchief and then give you a meat sandwich with a double egg. The girl who met you several times and fell in love with you. Even on that new year's night, I, the masked girl you were dancing with, the girl you kissed in front of the crowd and fell in love with you. You made me fall in love with HansH. Ilove you. I love you so much. But I knew my love would mean nothing because of my unforgivable lies. Deceived you.

Yeah, HansH, I'm a con man, I intend to trick you. I am Zia, and I am not Alisah, I am another person disguised as your lover, a foreign girl who changed her face and identity into Alisah to deliberately deceive you. I intend to help Brother Sanjeev to take revenge on you. And now with the coward I'm telling you this by letter. I did not dare to face you, and instead went to dodge. I'm afraid to see you disappointed, disappointed caused by me. And please don't look for me to intentionally punish me. I know I'm guilty. I know the pain I caused must be unforgivable. But, please, if possible, I'm sorry HansH. I hope you can forgive me.

Goodbye goodbye....