Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
The panic!

Minimizing the lies, that's all I can do right now. Honesty is the least appropriate action for me to do now, but to keep adding to the list of more lies, I am also reluctant to do so. Instead, to keep quiet and continue the lies that have already happened, that's what I can't avoid. But I have to minimize everything.

As at this moment, when I was faced with the graves of the two Alisah parents, I did not want to pretend to be sad or show a sense of loss, because I do not feel it because I am not Alisah. If I pretend to be as sad as I should be if the real Alisah is in the same place and moment where I am at the moment, that means I add a lot of my list of lies to HansH. I don't want to do it. So, during the funeral I was normal, I was more silent, and again HansH thought my reaction was the effect of forgetting the memories he thought I had.

"I hope that one day your memory will return" HansH said, gently grasping my hand. We sat next to each other, crouched down on the side of Alisah's parents' grave and just finished offering prayers for both parents. "Hopefully you'll be able to recall all your memories. Not just about us, but about your parents. I want you to go back to remembering how much love and affection you had for them. I'm sure it will grow back in your heart. Hopefully, yes, dear."

Not wanting to say yes to a lie, I just smiled at him. And now that I'm in a dilemma, I want Alisah's identity completely, but I'm so scared that one day HansH finds out the truth about who I really am, and I'm going to lose him. Because what happened to me is not a soap opera that is just about lies, or like a twin sister where they exchange lives. What happened to me was more than that, my lie was too big, I even did facial surgery so I was finally at this point. A life I shouldn't have.

What if HansH finds out the truth? Not only will he again feel the pain of heartbreak because he was lied to, but he will again feel lost because the fact is that the real Alisah has died, and Mr. Sanjeev has buried him. If HansH had known all this I was doing, about this criminal act that I was doing, it could have - not just lost himself and his wonderful life with him, more than that, my life will end in prison.

Kuhela took a deep breath and it felt like my head was dizzy from thinking about this.

"What's wrong?" hansh asked worriedly. "You feeling dizzy?"

I'm nodding.

"Then let's go home." HansH stood up, grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me up. "I'm sorry if my words made you think too hard. Don't force. It's okay if. yeah, if it's fate you can't get your memory back, what can you do. What matters is that you're healthy, and you're here, back in my life."

Again, I smile. "Can we just keep talking about this? Honestly, I. I feel burdened. Would help?"

Nodding, HansH expressed his apology again. Guilt was real in his eyes.

"My HansH, can we sit here for a minute?" my many. "Emm. preferably in the car. I have something to ask you."

HansH squinted his eyes. "You look so serious. What's up?"

"In car. I'm not comfortable in the middle of a funeral like this."

Almost chuckling, HansH tried to hold back his laughter. "Yeah, my timid Alisah. I wonder why your amnesia doesn't just take your fear away."

I grunt. "Not funny!" my protest. "Amnesia just brings away memories, you know! Not just human nature!"

"Yep! You're so right! Now I agree with you. Fear is basic, exactly the same as your love. That is why, like your lingering fear, your love is still there for me. Because it's sincere from the bottom of your heart, isn't it, sweetheart?"

Oh, that's so sweet! I laughed at it. "You're a lost poet, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm lost in your heart, baby."

Huuuh. I chose not to worry about the excitement and we finally got to the car. HansH opened the door on the passenger side and I went in and sat down, followed by him turning and coming in, sitting behind the wheel.

Tacit. Actually I really wanted to ask about the beliefs of HansH and his different sisters, whom I only found out this morning when I looked at the photo of Sheveni in the living room, accidentally my eyes were focused on the cross necklace that was coiled around his neck. But I felt the time was not right for me to ask considering Sheveni who had not returned. Not wanting to make HansH sad because his family members now can not gather whole, I pared my intentions and I pressed deeply my curiosity.

I'm shaking. "No, that's. Next time."

"What, really, do you want to ask? Hmm?" He looked at me, raised his eyebrows and his hands began to stroke the side of my head that was covered in a veil. "Ask me. It's okay."

I put my shoulders down. "Other times," I said. "Now mind, no, if we go to Harry's? I miss the delicacy of a meat sandwich with double eggs, please...?"

"of course. Anything for you, Madam. Let alone an egg, anything that is double can be."

Eh?

"What does that mean?"

HansH chuckles. "Based on you, yes! Where are your thoughts going? Hmm?"

Blushed shame. I also giggled while the car immediately drove until it stopped exactly where we were headed. HansH and I went inside.

"Let me order and you pay. Okay, Husband?" my candlestick to HansH. He nodded and called okay.

Of course okay. I also ordered twelve portions of sandwiches for us to take home, and I was just about to turn around when I heard Neha's shrill voice calling me from behind.

"Zia!"

I froze, while HansH who was standing by my side instantly turned his body towards the source of the sound.

Neha's?

"Zi..," her voice stopped as I turned around. The astonished and happy roar that had just adorned his face, which had been seen by me - instantly changed before my eyes. The excitement receded into disappointment, then he frowned. "Active?"

I looked at him, a tight knot intertwined in my stomach. "Hi, Neha." I approached her and hugged her for a moment. "How are you? You okay? Last time I heard you say you were sick? You okay now?" cerocos.

"illness?" Neha's forehead instantly shriveled. "I'm not sick. I'm doing fine. Sorry, you...?"

I swear by anything, panic ambushed me from inside. I feel like I'm sweating cold.