Self Healing
Episode 35 Dreams Are Just Dreams

In the middle of the night, I woke up from my sleep, because of the intense contractions I felt. Meanwhile, I saw Tyo still asleep in his sleep beside me. I squeezed his hand as it endured the pain of the contraction, which finally made Tyo wake up and immediately checked on me.

Before long, I felt the water coming out soaking my underwear.

"Mas, wet!" I was half panicked.

Tyo immediately exited the room and knocked on my parents' door, to inform me of my condition. Before long, both of my parents came to me who were still groaning to endure the pain of contractions. My ex-midwife checked me out.

"Yo, we're going to the hospital now, it looks like there's been some amniotic fluid seepage" she said.

"Father ready the car," said my father who immediately moved to the carport.

Meanwhile, mom helped me to change clothes and Tyo took the bag I had prepared a few days ago, for this delivery.

"Wear the pads, fearing that the water seeps again," exclaimed the mother for a moment I would change clothes in the bathroom.

Moments later, the four of us were in the vehicle to RSIA Ekasari. My father drove his vehicle in the middle of the night silence, which only 1-2 vehicles were visible.

"Alhamdulillah, you start at midnight, when the road is quiet again. Try if it's afternoon or evening, you can give birth in the car," said the mother who sat in the front seat.

Shortly after arriving at the hospital, I was immediately rushed to the delivery room without Tyo accompanying me. The pain of the contractions made me speechless, my focus was only on my misplaced position and eager to get the baby out of my stomach as soon as possible.

Shortly after, a nurse brought me warm milk and bread.

"In drink milk first for energy later," he said.

"Sorry mom, but I don't like milk, especially this morning, it must be nausea, really," I replied to refuse the gift.

"If it's tea, can it?" ask again.

"May, thank you" I replied.

My contractions came and went, but this time it was quite long, making me ask when Tyo would accompany me in the delivery room.

I looked at the wall clock, the time had shown at 04:30, the sound of the Shahuh Adhan was heard seaborne.

"Maybe Tyo's in musholla" I thought.

Half an hour later, a midwife checked how big my opening was, "It's already 5cm" she said.

'Ma'am, when's the doctor coming?" I grimaced while enduring the pain.

"A little later also came, it was already on the phone, really," he replied.

As time went on, my contract grew stronger and more frequent. Dr. Lucky finally arrived and immediately checked on me for my opening.

"It was 6 cm" he said.

"Have breakfast?" ask dr. Lucky's.

"Here you go, Doc" I replied.

"His husband?" ask dr. Lucky to the midwife who had been accompanying me.

"There, Doc," he answered.

Then, I waited for them to call Tyo, but I did not hear dr. Lucky made that request, and as my contract grew stronger, it made me feel like I wanted to get this baby out as soon as possible.

"Okay, it's complete. Lin, you follow me, yes," said dr. Lucky's.

At that time, I was already unable to answer anything that was asked of me, because the greatest pain I had ever felt, happened back then.

I groaned and continued to groan in pain, until I felt like I wanted to push.

I held him back so hard I couldn't hold him anymore.

"Okay Lin, push now!" exclaim dr. Lucky's.

I also push as hard as I can.

"Good! Lin, push the strong but you don't bristle, his eyes are opened, don't squash, yep" said dr. Lucky's.

I also pushed back as hard as I could.

"Okay, his head's starting to look, breathe and push!"

"Don't stop, let's keep going! His head is visible, push!" exclaim dr. Lucky's.

I pushed him back with the rest of the energy I had.

"Thank God, barakallah. Woman" said dr. Lucky followed by the sound of a very loud baby cry.

My breath was breathless, my sweat flowing all over my body. A sense of relief, joy and happiness mixed into one.

The little baby was shown to me, the sound of crying was very loud, I think the sound will be heard until the waiting room.

However, my dream of the delivery process accompanied by my husband, then hugging and kissing my newborn baby, was indeed only a dream. Until the second I get a stitch whose pain exceeds the pain of contraction, Tyo is not even seen in the delivery room. Even my baby, I only had a moment to see him, before he was handled by a pediatrician.

Moments later, I had been in the VIP treatment room with Tyo and my parents. Tiredness and sleepiness kept me asleep until the sun was overhead.

"Away awake?" tanya Tyo then helped me to sit down.

"Thank you" I said.

"Want a drink?" ask Tyo back. I answered him by nodding my head.

After I drank, I looked around me and I couldn't find my baby.

"Where's baby?" my many.

"She's still under observation, so she can't be brought here yet" Tyo replied.

"Alhamdulillah, the weight is 3.3 kg, the length is 56 cm," continued Tyo.

"Alhamdulillah, have you seen it?"

"Here, before being taken to the baby's room," replied Tyo.

The short answer without any words of praise for our first daughter, made me think there was something on my baby.

"Mas, the baby's healthy, right?" my many.

"Alhamdulillah is healthy, only still under observation. At the most afternoon in between here," replied Tyo.

Waiting until the afternoon to see my baby was not what I had imagined. All my shadows will be the sweetness of the labor process accompanied by the husband, to hug and kiss my baby for a moment as in the movie scene, gone already.

There was only disappointment in my heart that was not revealed. Here, I see Tyo seems ordinary. I really don't know what she's thinking, I want to see her protest the labor process I just went through.

"Why didn't I come in, didn't I give birth?"

"Mas is also confused, why not call it? Fear not to enter. Trus mas kira, darling has not entered the delivery room, because usually the birth of the first child is long, can be up to hours, so it was shocked when the nurse pushed the baby box," replied Tyo.

I just kept quiet, hearing the answer Tyo gave me. I don't know, but today was supposed to be a happy day because it was the day my first daughter was born, but all those dreams just vanished.