Self Healing
Episode 57 of New Drama

Our flight to Jogja went well, without delay and we arrived at Adi Sucipto Airport at nine p.m., after a two-hour flight.

Upon arrival at home, as usual I immediately take care of the children first before tidying up the luggage in the suitcase with Tyo. Before long, my mother came up to me and said, "Lin, get the kids to eat first. I've prepared their favorite food."

"Good, Mom."

"Cha, Ara, Zalfa, eat first, but it's been prepared for krispi sage," I said from the dining room.

My three daughters without waiting any more, they immediately walked quickly to pick up the dishes and enjoy the dinner.

"Mas, all meals, let it be together to finish," asked Tyo who was issuing special souvenirs Batam.

"Yes. Uh where's this gonna be put ?" tanya Tyo while carrying three boxes of banana cake Villa typical Batam city.

"It's on the table, but one, another please put it in the refrigerator" I replied.

"Dah, yuk, eat first," take me once more.

The five of us were finally able to enjoy dinner together, which coincided with the holy month of Ramadan. Unfortunately, Tyo was only able to accompany me for two nights, as he had to get back to work.

Earlier that week, I completed my daughter's third school enrollment.

"Remember yes, this month pay one third of the total registration money, next month it is paid off," said Tyo before he returned to Batam.

Two weeks passed, Tyo came back to celebrate the Eid al-Fitr holiday together, then on the fourth day the five of us left for Jakarta to gather with Tyo's extended family. There was nothing different from the annual meeting, until just before I said goodbye to go back to Jogja, my mother-in-law said, "Son Lina, please take care of Tyo yes. Please take care of him."

A message I don't understand, but I do.

Then, the night before Tyo returned to Batam, he hugged my body tightly while saying, "Please take care of me, please take care of me !"

I again did not understand the meaning of the sentence. What's up ? What should I keep ? I remained silent, saying nothing.

"Please take care of the mas, the heart of the mas began to switch, please take care of this heart," said Tyo while tightening his embrace.

I who did not understand the meaning, just fell silent and froze, I was afraid of what he would say next.

"There's someone who's starting to fill my heart. I was afraid that he would divert my love" he continued.

Somebody? My mind started flying, did Tyo cheat ? There was no way he could do it, very unlikely ! That's the most absurd thing for me.

I dismissed all prejudice about infidelity and insisted that Tyo was a loyal man, whom he has proven to me repeatedly through the behavior and attention he has given so far.

But I think I misunderstood it. A few days after he returned to Batam, he began to be unable to be contacted, whereas he had promised to return to Jogja the day before the new school year began, to deliver our three daughters to school.

"Mom, you said you want to do it on the first day of school ?" ask Icha.

"Let's wait, maybe a lot more work so it's hard to ask for permission again" I replied, but in my heart I felt anxious.

Until finally Tyo contacted the children and apologized for not being able to fulfill his promise.

"I'm sorry, I can't go to Jogja, because I haven't been able to leave" said Tyo.

"So when is Yah ?"

"Inshaallah Eid al-Adha will be two months away, later in ShaaAllah is sought by the father of Id prayer there. Oiya, which mother ?"

"There are, but again wash the dishes, said the mother call later tonight," replied Icha.

I did not intentionally want to talk to Tyo when there are children, for that I choose night, when they are asleep and I have finished homework, so I can comfortably talk to Tyo.

But at night, Tyo didn't call me. I also sent him a short message.

"Mas, so call me ? Or is it a break?"

My message was not opened, so I sent a message back, "Yowes is when you sleep, tomorrow - tomorrow again."

My message was not read that night, only in the morning did he read it, but he did not reply. I forgot about it too, because my schedule was crowded at the beginning of the new school year week, where I had to be full at Kindergarten and then attended a series of parent student meetings in Elementary School.

Until a few weeks passed, Tyo did not contact me, he only spoke to the children when they were about to go to school or when they came home from school. Until I asked Icha to tell her father to call me at night.

"Well, I'm asking you to call me tonight."

In the evening, Tyo again did not contact me and my message was not reciprocated.

Until a few days passed, Tyo was still difficult to contact and when he could be contacted, it was not the longing words I got but his anger.

"It's good to taste ?!" hardik.

"Dicekin ? What's dicuekin ? Wasn't I the one who was cut ?" askaku.

"Let's know what it's like to be diced !" ketus Tyo's.

"What the hell is it, Mom ? Who is nyuekin ? Who can't call either ? Who does not reply WA also ? I should have asked, why am I being questioned ?!" my many.

I really don't understand Tyo, what's really going on ?

"Yes like this, don't feel that if you have a nyuekin husband, eee even said her husband is nyuekin!" tyo answered with a ketus that made me not understand the meaning.

"Mas, what the hell is it ?" ask me gently, hoping he lowers his emotions.

"Smart little dong if you're a wife! Masa' like that don't understand ? Masa' don't understand ?!"

"Mas, I really don't understand what Mas mean ? When do I nyuekin Mas, when ?" I asked back while holding back my tears, but these tears started to fall slowly and tried to understand what was happening.

"Everything if her husband is at home is not to be questioned, if out of town also yaa on the phone dong !" ketus again.

"Mas, I really don't understand what Mas mean, what and when ?!"

"Not Mas who repeatedly called not answered, I WA also not answered, continue I nyuekin where?"

"It's up to you if you don't understand !" hardiknya, then he turned off his phone connection.

My heart was beating fast, my feelings began to not get dirty and soon after WA from Tyo came in.

"In a marriage relationship there must be warmth and care. Not a work husband, when he comes home, his wife is busy on her own !"

I took my breath and tried to understand one by one his words and only one question in my mind, what exactly happened?

"Mas, what's the problem, how do you suddenly say so ?"

"Pbuh, if I make a mistake, I'm sorry, but please tell me, where's my fault?"

But the answer I got was a very rude one. Tyo who had been more gentle to me, rather than raising his emotions, had really made me confused about the base of his anger problem.

"You don't have to be holy-spirited, good-ass, I already know you enough !"

My confusion became even more, because all this time my husband was my top priority, after that only children were my priority.

Shortly thereafter, Tyo sent a message.

"You remember, the night before I went back to Batam ? I'd say that something starts filling my heart, but you shut up, you don't react. I assume, you no longer care about our relationship !"

I also remembered that night, where I was confused as to what to react. What should I do when my husband, who has been with me for twelve years, suddenly says he has someone else.

I really don't know how to respond and right now, Tyo's anger is what I get.

"My heart starts to switch, don't confuse me ! I've given you the clue from months ago, if anyone starts to enter my heart, but you're silent! you didn't respond to anything! I assume you don't care about me and our relationship anymore!"

Like being struck by lightning in broad daylight, my legs were limp, my heart was beating unbecoming that made me cramped.

"I've asked you to take care of my heart. Until many times I asked, even mother has asked you, but what is your response ? You shut up, don't react !"

"I consider your response to be your indifference to our marital relationship!"

This time I actually collapsed, how could Tyo accuse me of that ? especially after twelve years, what an absurd accusation.

I finally decided to go back to Batam. After the phone call and WA confused me, I immediately booked a plane ticket online and this was my first time, to order it, because during the marriage, Tyo did it.

After I successfully ordered it and made the payment, I immediately put my clothes and Zalfa in the suitcase. Right now, all I think about is getting back to Batam soon and I'm ready for whatever the consequences are, including to settle there again.