Self Healing
Episode 55 of Back to Everyday Life

A week later, the family returned to Batam. Although my physical condition is not completely normal, but inevitably I have to go back to accompany Tyo and nurture my three daughters. I also knew and realized that it would not be easy, other than because my vertigu that never disappeared plus my condition that sometimes still dazed, but, it is also still coupled with the quality of my night's sleep that is not entirely good. I can feel my brain working amazingly at night which causes me to get tired in the morning.

Tyo's emotions are becoming more and more with my condition, which has not yet recovered from vertigo and memory problems.

"Try trained, Yang. Do not follow the pain, want to be followed until when vertigo and sparing?!"

That was the sentence that was often thrown by Tyo, this feeling of heart wanting to cry because someone who had been patiently beside me, suddenly turned into the opposite figure. At this time in the recovery process, where I really need calmness and emotional stability, but Tyo who should be able to understand from the point of medical science owned, but, in fact he proved that the science was only used for others, but not for me.

Not only with me, while accompanying the children, he turned into a threat to one another.

Emotional exhaustion had to be felt for months, eventually leading me to choose silence and protect my three daughters. When I accompanied them to sleep at night, I whispered my apologies to them, as they began to fall asleep.

"Sorry mom, sorry dad. Sorry mother who can not be a mother like other mothers, who accompany you learn and play. Forgive me for not being able to control your father's emotions. Forgive me, who still often forgets your requests. Forgive me for not being able to give you a wonderful childhood like your friends."

After that, I kissed the two before returning to my room.

When I entered my room, I saw that Tyo was engrossed in his gadgetry, regardless of Zalfa still playing.

I also had to re-sort my chest, how could Zalfa, who was four years old, not yet asleep while time had shown ten o'clock more.

I also changed the light of the room lights to be dim.

"Eh, Zalfa, aren't you booby yet? Ma'am Icha same mbak Ara has slept you know. Zalfa bobok yuk," asked me as I lay down beside Zalfa.

"Dad play HP anyway," sungutu.

I also glanced at Tyo who did not seem to listen to Zalfa's protest because he was still busy focusing on his goal.

I chose to let Tyo and focus on Zalfa, who was feeling disrespected by her father.

"Yuk, now Zalfa's booby. Tomorrow we play again," I said while stroking his hair that felt wet with sweat when the AC in my room was quite cold, with a temperature of 23°C.

"Read the do'a first yes, bismikallahumma ahya wa bismika amut," I whispered in his ear and did not take long, he began to fall asleep.

Hearing her heavy breathing, I realized that Zalfa was exhausted.

"Mas, how come Zalfa wasn't ripped off just yet, anyway? I pity her soy sauce," I said to Tyo who still hasn't taken his eyes off his gadget.

"Mas?!"

"What the hell?" the answer was a ketus that made me lazy to continue my protest.

"No papa, I want to sleep" I said, pulling a blanket to cover myself and Zalfa.

Suddenly Tyo got out of bed, then put on his trousers and jacket, which of course made me wonder.

"Mas wants to go out for a while" said Tyo.

"Where are you going, these nights?"

"You take the MCU file, he said it was signed to the front office, all gasoline," replied Tyo.

"Cock now so often the MCU files are pinned to the lobby, not immediately completed in the hospital or taken home?" my many.

"Yes they work slowly, if you wait can not go home. Instead of tomorrow morning doing work today, mending tonight is completed. Just a signature, not much. Yowes, mas go first. Do not wait, if you are sleepy, sleep first, just go" said Tyo.

"Yes, be careful."

"Wa'alaikumsalam."

After Tyo left, I looked towards the clock on my HP and the time showed at 21:45. If Tyo just went to the hospital and filled up with gas, it shouldn't take more than an hour to get back home. Soon I too fell asleep. Until I heard the sound of the door opening from the outside, I thought Tyo had returned.

Then I looked towards the clock on my HP, it turned out to have shown it at 23:50, which means it had been two hours Tyo came out.

Before long, Tyo entered the room slowly so as not to wake me and Zalfa, while I pretended to stay asleep. He then cleaned his body and laid his body beside me.

I wanted to ask why it was up to two hours just to pick up the files and fill up the gas, but I decided to put it off until the next day.

I also fell asleep until I heard the morning prayer. I saw Tyo still sleeping beside me, with his body behind me. I also woke him up so that it was not too late to follow the morning prayers in the mosque.

"Mas, it's dawn" I said, patting his arm.

Slowly Tyo opened his eyes, which looked very heavy.

"Already adhan, the hunt will miss the worshipers in the mosque," I continued.

"Yes," he answered in a heavy voice and immediately got out of bed.

After the prayer, as usual I do my routine by making breakfast and making sure Icha and Ara have woken up and performed the morning prayer. Meanwhile, Tyo sometimes returns after thirty minutes, but later he returns after more than an hour. Many times, he returns when the sun has shown the light of his morning.

"Old kok, Mom?"

"So talk to the fathers here, so long ago" he replied.

"Be to the room yes," continued Tyo.

"Please, wake up Icha with Ara, now it's time to take a bath" I asked, as they usually both fall back asleep after dawn.

Without answering her, Tyo walked towards my daughter's second room.

Shortly after, Tyo came back to me.

"Not to get up. Baby, ajat !" he said it and without waiting for me he immediately walked to the room.

I took my breath away, there was a bit of resentment in me, but I tried to brush it off, because I had to focus on my two daughters.

Then I went to Icha and Ara's room to wake her up, but I took a small towel that I moistened with water first.

"Cha's up, it's half six. Immediately om Iyan came to pick you up," I said as I wiped his face with a wet towel, which of course made Icha immediately woke up from his sleep.

"Immediately take a shower, I want to wake up Ara first," I said.

"Yes, Mom."

My busy morning routine is inversely proportional to Tyo who is more often to go back to sleep until it is time to work. There are times when he woke up when Icha and Ara say goodbye to school and take him to the terrace. Then wait until the two enter the school shuttle car. But Tyo slept more often in his dream than to spend his time with his children.

Not only that, while my daughter was practicing the Quran, Tyo's focus remained on her gadgets, which of course upset my two daughters.

"Mom, I'm practicing Ummi with my mom, yeah. If you're the same dad, not good. Masa' check my reading while playing HP?! And if I'm done, I'm just saying, oh yeah, good, pinter, but no crap!" icha protested to me one time which of course made me feel guilty towards her.

"Maybe you're tired, maybe it's because you're waiting for WA from the hospital, too" I replied to give her a proclamation, although I knew Icha and Ara didn't believe the reason I gave them.