Self Healing
Episode 51 Vacation

I left my two daughters in Batam without giving them a warm hug. The regret inside my chest enveloped my heart, why the moment I started to remember my children, I had to leave them even for a while.

Tyo who read my anxiety, trying to make me comfortable while on the way to Yogyakarta, continued to hold my hand tightly.

"Honey calm down, Icha and Ara already know really, they understand that Darling in the process of healing and our departure to Jogja, also for the continued treatment Dear. Icha and Ara are also accompanied by Intan's parents, but there are also Yusna and Bang Farhan who always pay attention to the children. In the Lord, the children are not left for a while. So, honey calm down, yes," said Tyo softly.

By starting to remember little by little, I felt I had more strength for my healing process. Arriving in Jogja, Tyo immediately registered me for further examination at an International hospital not far from where my parents live.

Some motor and balance tests must be done to see the extent of the problems I experienced.

"Everything is good, it's normal, there's no problem. So the old cure just continued," said the neurologist who handled me.

"What about the memory problem, Doc?" ask Tyo.

"If viewed from the results of the MRI, there is indeed an infarction in the cerebral cortex, the cause can be due to the lack of oxygen supply in the blood that leads to the area. For healing, until now we have not found a cure, but to improve memory performance can be helped by noting important things and the main thing is to avoid the stress that arises because trying to remember. Patience is key to dealing with patients who have short-term memory loss. It could be, after coming home from here, your wife does not remember if you just underwent an examination. It is natural for short-term amnesia. The point is not to be forced to remember because stress will make it worse" explains neurologist.

After my examination, Tyo and I immediately searched for a school for Icha and Ara, due to my condition that made my parents ask me to move.

My mother also registered Icha to one of the SD that is not far from my parents' house, while for Ara, registered at Islamic Kindergarten full day, he said, located just a few feet behind my parents' house.

Tyo had returned to Batam after three days of accompanying me in Jogja and after two weeks had passed, my health gradually improved, my memories gradually began to return. To that end, I started studying the school curriculum for Icha and Ara. After I studied the curriculum they used, I became doubtful, because it turned out that the curriculum used, much better that in Batam. Moreover, coupled with the wrong estimate, it turns out that the vehicle used by my parents using a manual transmission and the body is quite wide, while the two schools are located in an alley that I think is quite narrow. For that, I canceled the transfer of my two daughters.

"Sir, I'm not moving the kids here."

"Lho, why?" ask dad.

"I was thinking, if there was Ewing's car here, so I would be able to pick up the kids using the car, but it turns out Ewing is not here. Trus I'm not good with manuals, where the car is big into the alley, I'm horrified to take it."

"Trus, you want to go back to Batam? Are you sure of your condition?" ask dad.

"Yes sir, there is no way I move children to schools whose quality is below that in Batam, especially I can not move if using manuals," I replied.

"So what's your plan?"

"Children will be here soon, yes let them vacation here, and then back to school in Batam."

"Are you sure of your condition like this to take care of three children? If here can be helped by the fathers, after all, now Ani is still working here, so practically the business of home work, he is nanganin. You really want to go back to Batam?" ask mom to confirm my decision.

"Yes, Mom. In Allah's word" I replied.

"Sign sir, maturnuwun."

I also canceled the school registration of my two daughters, even though I had to lose 50% of the funds that had been given to the school.

The children are quite happy to be able to vacation in a very spacious eye house. My parents' house in Jogja is indeed quite spacious, with 6 bedrooms plus an inner bathroom. Not to mention a very spacious backyard, about half an acre less, so my father said.

The backyard was planted with various fruit trees, such as mango, durian soursop, papaya, bananas, guava and longan. Coupled with tilapia fish pond and gurami at the end. Of course making my two daughters very happy, because they can freely run around, in contrast to Batam which is just from room to room.

Until the holiday period is over, it is time for us to immediately return to Batam, so that Icha and Ara are not left behind the first day back to school.

Back to Batam and back to take care of everything alone, it is not easy, especially with the memory problems I have. I had to record all their needs so as not to be forgotten, such as taking notes on their food supply menu and affixed to the refrigerator door.

But still, sometimes I forget to record the date and day, so they get the same stock for two to three days in a row.

"Yes mom, how about some more fried noodles? Yesterday was already. I wrote rice with nuggets, not fried noodles" Icha protested the umpteenth time this month.

"Yes sorry, Cha. I forgot what day it is, try to write the date, let's not be wrong again. Sorry mom."

Icha and Ara have to come back to understand my limitations, which sometimes makes them just bite their fingers. My second problem is with my youngest daughter, Zalfa. It was as if revenge was against me, for I was not present in the first six months of his life, so that whenever I was invisible, he would cry. Even when Zalfa had fallen asleep, I could not leave him alone, for he would soon cry

Especially after we moved from the seventh floor and occupied a house rented by the hospital. We occupied a two-story house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It seems very comfortable, if only inhabited by our family.

Unfortunately, we only get one room. This also affected my relationship with Tyo. If before, we occupied two rooms, even when our daughter was getting bigger, we only got one room ration.

Here too, Tyo's emotions became more and more. I don't know how many times he scolded Icha and Ara, which I thought was very unnecessary.

The weekly shopping moment that should be a moment of togetherness, became the moment where Tyo released his emotions to the children. The atmosphere after shopping and dinner became the scene of scolding from Tyo all the way home

I repeatedly had to calm him down, so that he would not let out words that he would regret later that would leave psychological trauma to the children. I also have to calm the kids so they don't get scared and traumatized.

I also had to get back to being torn between Tyo and my children.

Until a year passed, I again experienced vertigo and shaded vision that made me have to be treated in the hospital.

"Yo, it looks like Halina can't be handled here. Last year alone he had three surgeries in a row," said dr. Edi Neuroscientist.

"Try you bring it to Jakarta, there are many more skilled personnel with more sophisticated equipment," continued dr. Edis.