Self Healing
Episode 59 Becomes an Author

My divorce was finally legalized by the state, after going through three trials. During the process, I didn't realize that I had lost nearly ten pounds. My weight went back to how it was when I wasn't married.

My eye bags were clear and my cheeks looked thin, which made me look much older than I was. I also looked like a zombie because of my expressionless and gloomy face. My daily activities revolve around dropping off and picking up my three daughters' school, in addition to shopping at the market.

When I picked up my daughter at school, when the other mothers exchanged stories, I just sat alone in my car, waiting for my daughter to come out. I am not connected to the outside world. Until I realized, when my first daughter graduated Ummi.

I don't even know when Icha's taking the exam. Icha never asked me to help her prepare for her exams. I feel so guilty about him too.

"Cha, I'm sorry about mom."

"Sorry why, Mom?"

"I'm sorry, because I'm not with you. I let you learn by yourself, I never ask your situation, your difficulties __."

"No Ma'am. I'm tired, I'm sad because of you too. So I'm not papa, really. I'm the one who thanks mom for letting me."

"God, my mother is very happy, has a daughter like you" I said, hugging her.

"Sama, I'm Mom too."

Two months later, Icha again achieved the achievement, as a student with the highest score in Islamic Religious Education subjects, during the national exam. He also placed himself in the top five in his class ranking.

I also began to take part in regular weekly studies held at the mosque. I also received orders for cakes and bread. Although not as crowded as when in Bekasi, but the bread order is never off for up to a week.

However, not even a year to start a bakery business, Hurricane Covid came to attack Indonesia. I lost my orders too. At that moment, I started writing.

My first novel was a story I picked up in my teenage years. The time when I was in a blue and gray white uniform, which of course had been polished here and there to be able to produce extraordinary pestle.

In the space of two years, I have successfully completed four titles. It is not an achievement, but I have managed to heal my heart and mind with a hobby that I have long abandoned.

The writing hobby that I started in Junior High, I've been leaving since I got married.

But now, I started it again without any hope, just wanting to let go of the pestle that filled my head.

I followed the writing course. The amateur writer community is also in. That's where I found new friends with various age, origin and educational backgrounds.

There, I could see the difference in my world with others, which I hadn't noticed.

When I write just to let go of the burden of the mind and not expect the income I can get, it is indeed different from many of these amateur writers who do make writing as a profession or their livelihood.