Hello Arvin!
Mother's Messages
A week had passed since Candra's departure, everyone was still grieving. Relatives, co-workers, and employees who are very familiar with his figure feel lost.
The brothers who stayed at home went home one by one. Now the place is only inhabited by Lena, Audrey, and Angga who are likely to move in the near future also after his marriage to Sophie.
Lena was getting ambushed by the feeling of loneliness. Although the relationship is no longer the same after the affair and Arvin's departure from home, Candra is still his partner. Every day they talk, talk and spend time together. Especially after Candra retired from her job in the office after surgery.
Lena thought she would be ready at any time when Candra left her side. He had also left her for 8 years, leaving like this would be easy. Apparently not.
Even though they haven't lived in the house for years, Candra has always been in contact with her. At least once every day he could hear her voice. Now there's no more. Silence is never this scary.
For almost a year back, Candra always sat in her study for a few hours. Read books and also talk to Yanuar who always reports on Arvin's performance in the company.
Lena will accompany him there too, reading books while drinking tea also occasionally talking. The room was silent now, and so was Lena who was sitting there alone. Remembering everything they did together.
The door of the workspace opened, breaking the reverie of Lena. When the figure entered the room, Lena was almost aghast. Thought that person was Candra who came back young. He smiled bitterly, it turned out that the one who came was Arvin. They're both too similar. Like a copy that has no distinction. But clearly their personalities are very cross-cut.
“Audrey says mom won't eat. I brought a snack that we often buy when I go home from school.” Arvin said, put a plate containing chicken risoles from Suisse Bakery.
Lena used to drive away after picking Arvin up from school just to enjoy chicken risoles and delicious breads at the legendary store. Just both. Talked and laughed all the way. Tells about the activities that Arvin did in school. Only after that, Lena will pick up Angga and Audrey who come home later in the afternoon.
They sat facing each other, separated by Candra's workbench, which contained books and stationery that she had not been able to finish. Shut each other for some time. Confused about where to start. They hadn't sat together like this in a long time, after the day Lena drove Arvin to the hospital to see his birth mother.
“I'm sorry.” Said Arvin break the silence, “I'm sorry to make our family so away from each other like this, has made mother sad, has made father sad. Because I kept running and running. I should have tried to terrorize and understand you too.”
The mood then returned. Lena did not respond to Arvin's words. Just stared at him for a long time with sadness.
“You know—”
“From Angga.”
“Bad child.” Lena said with a smile.
“Can we not pretend anymore, do not lie and hide our feelings again?”
Lena rests her back on Candra's chair. He closed his eyes before speaking to Arvin again.
“You hate mom, Vin?”
“Then. Not because I kept it a secret about my mom. But because mom went away for years and never called me.”
“Mom hates yourself for missing you. I apologize for being too selfish and thinking to myself. At that time I thought the most painful thing was to know the truth about Kartika, or fitting your grandmother maki-maki mother because she considered the mother who called you. But it's not.” Lena breathed heavily. Remembering all the bitter memories he tried to forget.
“The thing that is more painful and makes you run away is because your father said he still loves Kartika. For more than 10 years, the mother was lied to and cheated on. Kirain everything is finished when you were born.” Lena played her finger with a huff. It still hurts until now.
“Mother returns home again because I thought you too would come home after your grandmother passed away. Mom only has you. I can forget all the Candra lies as long as you go home. Mother can survive the same Candra as long as you can continue to be your mother.” Sadness continues.
Arvin walked towards lena. He knelt down and hugged his mother who was sitting in the chair. I don't know since when Lena's body shrank, becoming as small and frail as it is now. Or her shoulders are getting wider, so that this poor woman can lean?
Lena sniffles. Saying the things he kept neat for years. Behind his smile and his wife's service to Candra.
“Why is this nyimpen mom alone? If you come back that time. I must have chosen mom. I always choose my mom over my mom. I don't know my mom. Even if you choose someone else. I'll always choose mom.”
Lena should have known about her little boy's feelings. He will always choose it. Not Candra, but Arvin will choose her. On the other hand, Arvin also wants to be chosen just like him. All his prejudices about Arvin kept them away. Thought she hated him for the lies about her real mother.
After releasing Arvin that day in the hospital. Lena seeks her own truth through Candra. Hearing him say he still has feelings for Kartika, guilty and sympathetic. Make the world dark again. That day he decided to leave. Stay away and calm down.
Now his heart was calmer. She may not be the lucky wife and woman who has a devoted husband and biological children. But he has Arvin, Angga and Audrey who love him more than anyone.
Arvin's sitting on the floor. He put his head on both of his mother's thighs. Gently Lena rubbed the head of the little boy who was now an adult. It's strange to see it's this big.
“Mother don't be sad anymore. Eat a lot. Don't look like a pathetic widow.” Arvin looked up.
“You dare say anything about widowed mother.”
“Yes is a widow. Keep on calling what dong?”
Instantly Lena peed Arvin's nose to complain.
“Mother don't lie to me again, huh? If anything disturbs mother's feelings, let's just tell me.”
“Abis that you want to do?”
“Ya come here, attractions so that mothers are not sad anymore. Do you want me to sing a song? I'm the coolest vocalist and valued by many girls.”
“You already have a wife. Don't like the charms.”
“I just spread the same charm Nara and mom doang kok.”
Lena laughed a little. “You love Nara?”
“Banget. Bucin severe.”
“Mom thought you guys would break up a month or two after marriage. Are you sure you love him because of the guy? Not because of the child in her stomach?”
“I'm sure love Nara, yes because it's Nara. Not because of anything else. I do a lot of bad things, but every time I go home and see Nara. I feel like I'm so calm and can deal with those bad things.”
“Candra also said that first. Pas we got married early.” Remember Lena, “You must have said that because you're still in love. After all these years, Nara won't live up to your expectations anymore. Your love will change too. Either bored, angry, upset or hated. Almost all couples do that. All you can't do is enter someone else into your marriage. If one day your feelings change and your circumstances make it difficult to survive, solve both. Do not run away love and impingement to others.”
Lena stroked Arvin's cheek with her thumb. Missing her old cheeks. Now gone was changed into a slender indentation and a resolutely dazzling jaw.
“All good third person. He got into marriage in a bad way. I'm just saying, don't take another woman's heart before you finish your business with your rightful partner, Vin. No wife deserves to be cheated on, no matter the reason. Only a cowardly man makes the lack of a wife as a shield and a defense for his infidelity. Finish your first relationship, then can start a new one.”
Arvin nodded. Feeling the most beautiful and insinuated with the words of his mother. He was once in a state of turmoil with his relationship between Keysa and Nara. If his mother knew about it. Finish history. Arvin knows his mother very well, his lectures and his tirades can make anyone die of boredom.
Arvin will always choose Nara. Don't want another poor woman and wife like her mother. Share your love and feel unloved for a lifetime. Questioning her value as a wife, compared to the new woman present in her husband's heart.
His poor mother has lost a lot of things in her life because of her father's cowardice and lies. It may also be one of the causes of losing the baby it contains first. Looking back on the complexity of life because of his father's affair. She doesn't want her son to experience the same things as her.