Deposits
-Kania Jealousy

“Men are selfish, just like me. Yes, I admit that I am selfish. How can I not say selfish? When the man is at his lowest point, there is a woman who is always loyal to accompany him until he is at the peak of his glory. By the time he was in his prime, he felt very successful and proud. At that time the man is being tested, whether he will be loyal to the woman who is always behind him who has accompanied him from zero to as successful as this, or he'll add another woman to his heart. The question always popped into my mind, was I the only one? Or is there another man like that besides me?”

- Andri

Canary:

I squirmed around, as soon as I felt pain in my body. I opened my eyes forcefully, very heavily, maybe it was the effect of me crying that made my eyes puffy like eggs. I immediately sat down, as soon as my memories returned one by one, I remember if last night Andri came here to give me peace and now where is he?

Why isn't he in my room? I got up from the bed and walked out of the room. I was thinking, maybe he's making breakfast for me, maybe not?

When I looked in the kitchen, there was not a single person there, deserted. I turned to the bathroom, empty. There was no sign of anyone using the bathroom. I was thinking, maybe he's gone home to his wife? Ahh, just make me sad in the morning.

Though my sadness about yesterday has not disappeared even this plus. Come to think of it lately I started to be selfish with Andri time, I want Andri every time without thinking that Andri already belongs to someone else. I held my head while sighing, why do I always forget that part?

I walked limply to the kitchen, I opened the fridge to get ready to make breakfast. My stomach kept ringing to ask for food. When I saw the refrigerator, clean, there was only a real mineral bottle in it, there was no food in it.

I sighed and then sat limp in the chair, but today is wekeend where my day mager all day. I was lazy to shop, let alone shop, to get out of the apartment was lazy especially with the condition of my swollen face.

My stomach goes back, aahh, what a very bad wekeend I think. Want delivery, like he's lazy too. Because this morning, there is only junk food available. While other foods sometimes open around 9 or 10. No way, am I waiting that long? I could have relapsed to hold my hunger.

I got up from the chair to the bathroom, yes, I decided to shop, before shopping I took a shower first so that it was fresh and not lackluster. After I finished the shower, I got ready. Enough with the maroon-colored T-shirt I did not forget to match it with cream-colored coat and then I used a short dark gray jeans skirt. Beautiful, my inner.

I rub my face with thin make-up, it does not need to be thick because my face often wears thick make-up and it is heavy for the face. After all, I did not wear any thick make-up nor did my beauty aura come out. It was not me who said that, but Andri. Ahh, I remember him making me miss him.

After everything is done. I rushed down to the parking lot, where my online taxi was waiting. I decided not to use a private car, because my drowsiness still whack. Even in the car I closed my eyes, while enjoying the breeze that hit my face. Supermarket to which I go the distance is quite time consuming.

Today the supermarket can be fairly crowded, a lot of people shop, there are the same partner and some are with friends. Maybe I'm the only one who shops alone, it's really good for my life. No one can accompany my days like this. Sometimes I get angry, why is my life always like this, why can't I be happy like everyone else?

Why has my life suffered from me from childhood to adulthood? I don't understand any of this. But even though everything is like this, I always accept it, I resigned my life path that has been outlined by God, I am grateful that my life is still lucky compared to other lives.

As I walked on the shelf where the snack was neatly lined up, I heard a man's voice. I thought the voice was very familiar but I couldn't remember whose voice it was.

“Mas loves you. Saaangat love you,”

I heard the word romantic but I don't know who it was for, I walked slowly intending to see which man said the sweet word and which woman was lucky to have such a man.

My curiosity level was suddenly high, I walked slowly to the next shelf, I did not see clearly who the man was because of his position he turned his back on me. I became very curious, I walked and pretended to see a snack on the shelf. However, my curiosity also disappeared when I knew who the person before me was, when the woman turned around and smiled.

Yeah, that's Keisha, my best friend, so the guy who said that sweet word was Andri? Keisha's husband? My boyfriend? Honestly, when I found out about that fact, there was a pain in my heart and it ran all over my body.

Instantly, I could not breathe, the tightness in my chest made me unable to breathe properly. I took a breath, and breathed it out violently. When I saw Keisha wanting to reply to Andri, I cut him off.

“Keisha!” not without reason I called him, it was because I did not want him to return the sweet word to Andri. I also wonder why I can do that, is it because I started being selfish with Keisha? Or how? I was astonished by myself and did not understand what was going on with my feelings, so I let it go like this.

Keisha and Andri immediately turned to look at me, I saw Andri was shocked to see me, while I just stared flatly, and I looked down, my feeling was getting sicker seeing her being with Keisha accompanied shopping in the morning while I was shopping alone.

While Keisha looked at me with her smile, she did not know that from then on my heart continued to curse her. I wish he was lucky to be with Andri, but I can only be alone. While my mood is still not fully improved now added with this incident makes my heart hurt more by itself.