Deposits
- Cania chose to dodge

..."I think this marriage can make me happy. It made me suffer even more."...

...-cania-...

Andri:

I tidied my tie and shirt collar on the glass. Today Keisha did not prepare my clothes for the office. From yesterday he did not enter the room. Though I have persuaded him. But still he did not want to.

Maybe because of my words that make him hurt so he refused to be close to me. Even when I touched it, it seemed to be avoiding me. Jeez, this problem makes everything runnier.

My face looked less rested and like there was no sign of life on my face. Maybe I'm confused thinking about all this. From Kania, mother and Keisha. It's my fault. But how else? It's been like this.

I picked up my phone and started texting Vania. If to Kania it will definitely not be reciprocated. Never reply, may not be read by him.

Both my wives have been hurt by me. Because of my words and my attitude.

If Kania has come to the office, just tell him to come to my room!

I combed my hair again. And I heard a notification tone from my phone.

Ok sir!

Breath came out of my lips. Time to return to activities as usual. This matter won't be okay if I don't solve it right away. I don't want the problem too let1 drag on.

I came back from my room and saw Keisha sleeping in the family room. I approached him too.

"Yes,"

Keisha opened his eyes. Then he turned his back on me. Like I don't want to see you this morning. Oh, my God, how should I?

"Just go to work first. You're doing well at home. If Mas came home late, it means that Mas's work in the office has not been completed. You're not papa alone at home? Or did you go to Mom's house, so you wouldn't be lonely?"

"No need! Keisha can go there by himself. Keisha is always alone, right? No need to worry about my situation!"

Jimbb!!!

Instantly Keisha's words pierced my heart. For the first time he said that to me. I don't know why it could be like this. Was it because of what I said yesterday that made him this way?

I held her shoulder slowly. "Dear, what's wrong with you? He speaks so the same. Is it because of what I said yesterday, you're like this?"

"Keisha tired Mas, want to sleep. If you want to go to work, go. Today Keisha does not prepare provisions, so you eat out!"

Astaugfirullahs.

I am the Istigfar in my heart. Try to calm down with Keisha's attitude. Keisha is not as usual. He was really angry with me.

"Key, don't be like this. Mas want to go to work, do not make Mas mind because of your attitude Kei. You know, it was wrong. I yelled at you, but Mas accidentally Kei. I'm dizzy, because there's a problem in the office."

Keisha, who heard my words, turned and sat down. Our eyes met.

"If there's a problem in the office, why don't you tell? Why did Mas even snatch Kei? You know how to send! I don't like being yelled at!" Said Keisha with her own eyes.

I feel guilty about that look. Because my problem with Kania involves my first wife. Just the beginning, I'm not being fair. How later?

"I'm sorry, honey. Forgive me, please." I hugged Keisha a sign of my guilt to her. I feel guilty for Keisha. I broke his heart. Yeah, it's because of me he became like this.

I felt Keisha return my embrace. Have you forgiven me?

"Kei doesn't like Mas Kei snapped. Because all this time Mas never snapped Kei. If there is any problem outside, please tell Kei the same story. Isn't Kei your wife? We share whatever it is together."

I let go of this hug and then held onto Keisha's cheeks that Chubby saw. "Dear baby, I'm sorry. It's wrong for you like this. You are hurt by my attitude. Again, I'm sorry, baby."

Keisha smile.

He returned the smile to his owner. My heart felt very calm to see it. That smile made me feel calm.

"Origin't repeat it again,"

I returned that smile, "Mas Kei promised!"

"Yaudah, I went to work. It's your bad luck."

"Yes dear. Yaudah, I'm leaving first."

"Yes Mas. Be careful on the road."

"Yes dear."

Keisha grabbed my hand and then endured it. I kissed her forehead. My habit when I go to the office.

I went out of the house to my car. The problem with Keisha was finally resolved. Living with my wife, Kania. Hopefully it can be resolved so easily like my problem with Keisha. I don't want it all to drag on for long. Anyway, I just got married to Kania. The beginning of our marriage should be flavored with happiness, not suffering.

Keish:

After Andri's departure to the office, I immediately went to the room to change clothes to go to yoga. My routine I've been following for a few days. When there was Andri I did not permit him, because it was intentional not to tell this to him. You could say it was my struggle behind it.

The drama I had done earlier to him just wanted to shut down my actions. I don't know why I have a feeling for Andri. If there was something he was hiding. From that mascara, I knew that he had lied to me. Because I've tested the mascara that I have until it looks the same as the stain.

Why would he lie to me? Is it true that Andri has another woman behind me? But why all this time does not look strange with his attitude. Everything is neutral.

I rubbed my face slowly. Istigfar in heart. My mind is starting to poison me. I started thinking badly of my husband. I don't want this disease to run rampant in my mind. I'll find out for myself exactly what happened. From the sudden attitude of my mother-in-law crying, that stain, and my husband's lie. Let me find out for myself. This is all why and what is.

After I got ready, I went out of the house and did not forget to lock the door. Before that I have to go to my mother-in-law's house. Since yesterday I kept thinking. Whether he's okay or not.

My feelings for my mother-in-law have been uncomfortable since their return to Paris.

I also drove my car, penetrating all the vehicles that had begun to crowded the streets of the capital. When I was focusing on the street, my phone suddenly rang. Immediately I picked up and meloadspeaker without seeing who was calling me.

“Halo, assalamualaikum.”

“Waalaikumsalam, Keisha?”

I know the owner of this voice. “Haikal? What's up?” ask me curious.

“Where are you?”

“Why?”

“It's okay. I just want to monitor your activities today. You know the possibility if you can get pregnant. So I have to monitor this little activity of yours. Did you not take a yoga class today?”

“This I want to go there, again on the way Kal. Just calm down, don't worry. I'll follow all your directions. Do not be stressed, tired and have to participate in positive activities so that everything works. Isn't that so?”

“Yap! Right enough. I don't want this patient I'm holding to fail. At once, I did not disappoint the expectations of my friend this one.” said Haikal with a tone of spirit.

I smiled hearing it. For some reason, Haikal was very trying to cure me of this disease. Though he was only a doctor and a friend of mine once, but there is no such spirit Haikal to my life. I was also excited because of it. He has given me his positive energy. Although there are a lot of thoughts going through my brain right now.

“Hehehe, yes. Thank you to Doctor Haikal who has tried and always monitor your patients on this one. I'm so flattered by you doctor.”

“Hahahaha, poetic once your words Keisha.”

“Once in a while no problem is it?”

“Hahaha, okay.oke. No problem,”

I smiled and said frankly to Haikal. “Haikal,”

“Iya Kei?”

“Sorry me yes,”

“Sorry? Sorry for what? Have you made a mistake?”

“Sorry, because all this time I've been thinking badly of you. For your attention all this time. My way of talking all this time that always judges you. I shouldn't have thought that way. You know, I'm like this because I'm thinking about my past. Me and you had ta’aruf which was not too long until I chose Mas Andri. So I always think if you, yes know yourself with my mind.”

Breathing came out of my mouth. I chose to be frank with Haikal despite not knowing his reaction. Because all this time, my negative thoughts to Haikal have disturbed my life. Maybe being frank with him can make my burden a little less.

“Keisha,” call Haikal over there.

“I know what you're thinking, long before you think about it. In the hospital, I read a list of patients. I was more surprised by your name that was already written on the paper. And I have to think longer whether I should accept you as my patient or not. No. I don't accept you as my patient. It's just, I know if you take care of your husband's feelings. I know that very well. Do you remember when we met? You just smile and leave without saying a word. Because from there I understand. And now we meet again. Even though we've been through a ta’aruf and you chose someone else over me and then we met again. It didn't make me take you Kei. Because I know, this way is wrong. You are not the soul mate God has given me. If you are my soul mate, God should have united us before not even made us separate. Isn't that so? I don't want to ruin Kei's other people's happiness. I keep my feelings. I always pray that God will keep my feelings from hurting others. Until now, God has listened to my prayers. You are nothing more than a patient and a friend of mine.We were brought together because I want to get you out of the suffering you have been through for years. God wants to give you happiness past me Kei. No more than that.”

A single tear in the corner of my eye just fell down. O Allah, how despicable and filthy I have thought nothing of Haikal. He came into my life just to get me out of this suffering. He did not hesitate to help me exceed the duties of the doctor to the patient. I kept thinking badly of him. Now, that sense disappeared upon hearing the explanation. I don't know how to behave in front of him later.

I feel ashamed of Haikal.

“Key? You're still there, right?”

I wiped my tears and breathed. Now I feel relieved at this.

“Iya Haikal, I'm still here.”

“Thank you for coming out to me Kei. You never changed before. I like that attitude of yours. Hey, don't think bad. I like your attitude not like the person.”

I chuckle at hearing it, “Hehehe is-just about it. Yes, I thank you too Kal. Your services can't be avenged until anytime.”

“Quite replied with a cup of hot chocolate!”

“Ah, that's your will!”

“Hahahaha,”

“When yes, we find empty time.”

“Hahah, I'm kidding Keisha. Don't be too serious later get old.”

“Indeed I am old,”

“Iya.iya deh. Yasudah, I'm going to work first. Be careful driving Keisha.”

“Iya Haikal's. Careful too.

“Assalamualaikum,”

“Waalaikumsalam.”

The call was cut off. Haikal disconnects the phone after this conversation is over. I feel everything is plong. But there's a little bit of this stubbornness. My husband, Mas Andri.

Canary:

With the tired, tired and lethargic feelings I had. The foot that continues to move with great force. Keep walking in this very large building. Yeah, I'm back at work after a long time I've been hanging out because of that marriage.

I actually don't intend to go to work. It's just that, Vania kept contacting me over and over again to make my emotions explode. But Vania's anger was no less explosive than mine. Makes me hide this emotion. Of course my emotions are inferior to those of Vania. I dare not fight it.

When I got to the room that was available specifically for me. There is already Vania who turned out to have been waiting for me whether she had just come or since.

“How long! Must be the way of snail cake deh lo!”

Look, he started his fight with me. “Yes for Vania, I just got here. You even want to be angry with me. Today I don't want to work! Even you force it!”

“Today you have a contract with another company Kan. And today you have to start. You have been on quite a long leave, right? Time to get back to work dong.”

It is true what Vania said. I had to start my job which was pretty much behind. If it's not done, I'll have to accept the consequences. But the thing is, today I don't want to meet Andri. I don't want to see his face, I'm very disappointed in him. Although I just married her, but this marriage made me feel the worst.

“Now you go to Pak Andri's room! You were told to go there?”

“Ha? Why her room?”

“Dating!”

I was silent to Vania's insinuation.

“Udah, you go there! Ntar me again being scolded!”

“Ogah ah! Lo aja Van!”

“Kania Aletha Qirani???” Vania called my full name. If it is like this, you should just give up. Why also, he called me to make my mood even more broken.

I got up from my seat and went to Andri's room where Andri was already in his room. He was busy flipping through the paper he was checking.

Without knocking on the door, I went straight into his room and sat down on a large sofa. He was surprised to see me. I looked the other way, indifferent to him.

Andri came up to me holding a document I don't know what it is. Andri grabbed my hand but I brusquely brushed it off. I don't want him to touch me.

“You're still mad at me Kan?”

“Please sir, what need do you call me? Is there anything important? If not, I'll go out. Because I have a lot to do.” My story non-stop.

Breath came out of Andri's lips. Tired up? Let it be, I don't care. I'm tired here, not just him! I'm tired of the drama that just happened. Tired of endless problems.

Is this a challenge in life that I have to face? A life I never knew for the future.

“Alright, this is a contract you want to or don't sign."I took the documents Andri held.

“I hope you don't sign it Kan, let me pay the fine. Just so you don't do a photo shoot with another man. I can't see you with another man. I'm jealous if you have to pose somehow that pose. I don't want to!”

I looked at Andri and took my eyes off.

That look almost fooled me again. I almost fell to Andri. The pain is still in my heart. The insults I got from her mother and sister could not be erased in my mind.

I honestly couldn't bear to see my husband. Husband? Huh! Never mind, this might be my momentary pity for Andri.

“Kan, please listen to me. Do not accept the contract,” Andri again grabbed my hand and grasped it pretty tight.

I yelled at him so strongly that he was surprised by my treatment.

“Please la be professional sir! Don't bring personal things to work! I don't like that.”

“Kan, you don't do this. Don't do this Kan,”

Andri continued to plead, making the wall I built quite solidly almost collapsed because of it. I took the pen available on the table and signed the contract quickly.

“It's Sir. I can't stay here for long!”

I got up and left Andri's room. But when I almost opened the door from behind Andri immediately hugged me very tightly. I reeling so many times I couldn't let go of her embrace, making me give up on what she did to me.

"Please, don't keep going like this. We just got married, we just lived a new life and status. Why do we have to be like this, right? Wh why? We should be happy. Because after 3 years we are dating in silence we can finally get married. Isn't marriage your dream? Wasn't it! But our dreams. It's both of us's dreams to be together."

I cried hearing Andri's words. It feels so painful. It's true all with what he said. But why does it have to be like this?

Before I looked at Andri, I wiped my tears that had come down and wet my cheeks. I let out a rough sigh so that I could speak loudly even though this heart felt shaky.

I turned to look into both of Andri's brave eyes, "Indeed, this is all my dream. Marriage is a dream I have dreamed of for a long time. Including marrying you is the hope I want the most. But not like this, Mom! This is not what I dreamed of! Being a wife unknown to many. Being a wife that is not approved by your family and most importantly of your mother. This is not my dream and desire! Even you have no certainty about introducing me to Keisha as your wife, right?"

Andri was silent to my words. He immediately shut up. I've guessed that.

"Already Mas! If it's because I'm going to work with men to make you this way. I really don't care. I don't care what you feel. So is yours now! You don't care what I feel up to now!"

"Kan, that's not what I meant. I mean I-"

I pushed Andri until he kept quiet again, "Don't be selfish. Don't mix my work with your feelings. That disgusts me!" After saying that, I left in front of Andri.

I don't know when we'll be like this. I really don't care.

Because now I will attach importance to my pride and recognition from Andri. Confession to the whole world that I am also his wife, his. Heartache will definitely be felt by others but not as painful as being a second wife from the silent results.

...*******...

Thank you for reading. Forgive the author, it has been almost two years of hiatus to leave this story neglected. Because there are obstacles that the author cannot tell. Apologize again and happy re-reading.

The author goes back to continuing this story that has not been continued for a long time. Maybe not routine but the author will try to up yes.❤

Thank you to all the readers who have been waiting for so long. I love you guys ❤

Ig:@Salika_joy