Deposits
- Heartbreak

“All humans must have done actions that are beyond the limits of their consciousness and that are also fatal. If so, who can change it? Not others, but ourselves. We who have that consciousness we are also the ones who have to develop the consciousness realm itself or not everything will be destroyed not left.”

- Andri

Andri:

After everything is done I do. Now I was relaxing in the house with a few snacks and a glass of hot chocolate milk. It just so happened that the menu today because the weather was not supportive at all.

Dark clouds have been decorating the scene this morning but it does not rain as well. Maybe the world is grieving, I don't know that either. I can only relax myself after a few days ago there was a problem that made me only able to resign.

After this I don't know what's going to happen. My mind's messing with me somewhere. I was afraid that my mother would tell Keisha my disgust. On the other hand, I was afraid that Keisha would leave me. Until I had to find a way immediately when it was discovered Keisha did not think of leaving me.

Because now I'm really greedy with the name of love and women. Actually, none of this is worth mentioning with love. All of this is just wrapped in lust and I can call it love.

Love is not wrong. Love is holy, clean, and sincere. It's just the bad guy who uses the name of love in every relationship he does. And that person is me.

I admit that, I admit my mistakes. I confess all my actions. A very sacred marriage, a love that I love very much with a heart. In the blink of an eye I stained it all. I have sinned only because of what I should not have done.

But what can I do? I've already done it. After all, rice has become porridge will not return to rice as well. I swallowed all the porridge even though the edges were not filling me.

I looked inside, the sound of water splashing was heard by me.

Yep, Keisha was taking a bath. I was looking for this opportunity to contact my second wife. Whether it's okay there or not. I married her anyway. Now he is my responsibility and I must be fair as a husband even though I have not yet acknowledged him as a wife to the world.

I reached into my cell phone with my pants on. Every now and then I look into Keisha's fear of suddenly coming out and catching my suspicious attitude wet. I don't want to add any more trouble. Enough in Paris not here anymore. Wait till I find a way to get this thing out. So that everything does not look runyam.

I'm looking for nicknames available on my cell phone contacts. Straight away without wasting any more time, I contacted Kania. There was a continuous tone across the street, but there was no sign Kania would pick up her phone.

I shut it down and then I called back, I looked inside the house once in a while. Cold sweat had washed my palms. Is he okay there? Why didn't he pick up his phone? Makes me even more worried in these circumstances.

Keish:

“Ahhh, freshness.” I was relieved when I came out of the bathroom.

The cold and fresh sensation all over my body made this sense of spirit finally rise up as well. Not to forget also I shampooed, eliminating all thoughts and anxiety that had just happened. I don't want this anxiety to get my mind anywhere.

I don't want any commotion to happen to Andri and me. He had just returned from Paris and I was looking for a problem that had no cause and no effect. What is, I just sinned against my husband.

Ckckck, I will not be consumed by Satan's seduction which makes my husband's suspicions grow. I don't want the devil to be more happy in launching the action.

I saw her on the bed, her dirty clothes scattered everywhere. I can only shake my head.

“Conduct,” mumbled.

I took his dirty clothes and put in a special basket of dirty clothes that were available in the corner of the room. When I put Andri's shirt in the basket, I saw a black stain right behind his shoulder.

Immediately I looked very carefully at the black stain, I wiped it with my finger still the stain was not gone.

“What is this black stain? What oli? It is impossible for oil to get to Mas Andri's shoulder, then why does Andri bring black stains like this?” ask myself a thousand questions in my head.

I smelled the black stain, narrowed my eyes trying to guess what this was. Not usually Andri's office shirt is dirty like this. He is not a careless man with his clothes on. Why is he so stupid now?

As I focused on smelling the black stain, my eyes opened wide. I don't know if my guess is right or wrong. It's like a mascara scent I've worn before. But I never wear it again because I'm only at home unless I'm on a trip.

But why does this mascara stick to Andri's shirt? There's no way I did it, because I just met him today. Oh my God, what exactly is going on? Why is this puzzle becoming more and more in my life.

Is it true that my husband, he?

I shook my head very quickly, “No, not Keisha. Don't think of anything. Andri couldn't have done that, I really believed he would be loyal to me. I believe in him and I believe in him. Who knows the smell of this black stain, the aroma of the other and just happened to be the same as the mascara I once used. Yeah, who knows. Don't suudzon Kei, don't suudzon with your own husband.yes, don't!” I convinced myself this with great certainty. Although there is actually a growing anxiety within this self.

“Sayang...Babe.” Andri's scream made me immediately put her shirt in the basket.

“Ha, yes what?”

“I permission to exit first yes,”

“Where are you going?” I asked with a confused face.

“There's something I have to take care of,”

“Do you have to now? Can't be tomorrow?” I ask it seems like I'm not willing for him to leave me alone.

Naturally, a few days left behind the present abandoned again? I miss him so much. I'm just embarrassed to say it.

“Can't love, I'm sorry. I have to go now, I'll be right back. Take good care of yourself at home.” He said as he stroked my cheek and rushed to get the keys to the car and the jacket.

“Mas,” call me slowly.

“Assalamualaikum,” he said with a smile.

“Waalaikumsalam.” He also went out of the room leaving me very heavy hearted.

The more time I come with him the less there is. If it's like this I don't want anything else. I don't want any treasure or anything. I just want him to always be next to me. Accompanying my own days and encouraging me who is struggling with my barren disease to be lost.

Butwhat? It was all just hope and desire that he would not do. Everything changed when he became the leader of his company. Should my life be like this? should my relationship be like this?

I want to be more like the others.

Just this morning I felt a great joy. Now, that happiness quickly falls apart. The sense of spirit that had just whipped was now dim by itself. It was all because he was always more concerned with his work than me. Maybe it's my fate, nothing. I'll take it.

Andri:

Okey...

I admit, if today I lied to Keisha again. Lied for the umpteenth time to him.

Why do I feel like I'm not being fair to Keisha right now. I should have been with him today, but I chose Kania over him.

Maybe my love for Kania is bigger than Keisha's. Maybe my love for Keisha faded with Kania in my life. Plus she's my wife now.

Why don't I feel that? Feeling that my love for Keisha is gone. But even so, why would I have such an overwhelming fear of losing it. Have I been overwhelmed by the selfishness within me?

Never mind, I don't have to think about it anymore. I don't want to make this trouble always haunt my mind. I want to be happy, I don't have to think about things that haven't happened.

Whatever happens next, I'm ready to face it. I'm sure of that and I'm very sure.

Keish:

My mind drifted somewhere.

Empty gazes.

I daydreamed.

Thinking about what I shouldn't have thought.

My hand is still clutching Andri's shirt.

The smell of black stains on his desk is already very disturbing to me. Makes me think really hard, is this black stain scent really the mascara I've used.

I was wondering how this black stain could stick to his shirt. I analyzed it from earlier.

It's like, someone hugged Andri until the black stain was stuck on his shirt. That's what I think right now.

I don't know if this is true or just my mind.

“Not Kei, why are you imagining more and more every day that Mas Andri has another woman behind you? What you're thinking is Kei's wrong. Can't! You have to throw away this distant thought. It's not what you think it is. You know that? yeah, just cut all this out. I was so sure of Mas Andri that he wouldn't betray me. Who knew the smell of this black stain was indeed the same coincidence? sure is. Is there only one scent in this world? hahah, yes Kei, of course. You are so silly already thinking so ugly to him.” I talked to myself trying to convince myself that this was not what I had imagined. Could be, couldn't it?

I put Andri's shirt in the washing machine and pressed each button and let him spin by himself.

Tok.dok...

The sound of knocking on the door made me flinch a little. Is Andri home yet? Why so fast? Didn't he just leave.

I walked over to the door and turned the knob to see who was coming home at the moment.

Both my eyes wide open to see it, “Mother?” I said with great surprise.

Mom was in front of me, she came up to me here? Oh, my God, when did he get there? Why even the mother who approached me like this right now.I should have approached her.

“Keisha, mother's daughter.” said, both eyes glazed over.

My forehead shriveled, why is my mother's face so sad like this? is this just my feeling?

“Mother, mother why?”

Without realizing it, my mother hugged me. I was also surprised by his treatment. And more that makes me surprised and panicked is, mother crying in her arms. I looked outside, there was Andika too. I spoke without asking what, he just smiled as he shook his head. I am not understanding this kind of situation any more.

“Mother, what's wrong. Why are you crying?” I tried to let go of her embrace, but mother tightened her embrace even more. I became helpless by it.

“Yaudah, yes.iya.we go in first yes, we talk in bu.”

Only then did mom let go of her embrace. I saw my mother's face covered in tears. I wiped her wet tears on both cheeks. I let him and Andika come in.

“Mother and Andika sit here first, Keisha grab a drink first for you two.”

I got out of my seat but my mother pulled my hand and made me sit back in front of her. He held my hands together very tightly.His eyes returned to tears.

God, why is my mother like this? I've never seen a mother's face this sad. Although sad, he could still cover it with a smile on his face. But why now, as if all this could not cover it.

“K—kei,” call it stammering.

“What's mom? What's the problem, mom? why are you crying? What's the matter, actually?”

Mother forced both corners of her lips to be pulled up, trying to ease my panic on her.

“Mother, same story Kei. Actually what has happened to the mother.why do you cry like this? Don't make Kei afraid ma'am,” I said again.

I took a breath and exhaled slowly. “Mother just miss you Kei, so mom is like this.” my eyebrows go up next to hearing her words.

Is it true just because I miss him to make him like this? why in my heart did not believe the words of my mother.

I looked at Andika, looking for answers from her. “True mbak, we just got home. I can't wait to meet Mbak. Even though tomorrow can also, but I still want to meet mbak. I haven't seen him in a long time he said.” Andika replied with a typical grin makes him and Andri more similar if I see.

I looked back at mother, she nodded with a smile confirming Andika's words. I also returned my mother's smile.

Wh why?

Wh why?

Andwhy?

Something was hidden by both of them.

Not that I don't believe what Andika said to mom.

It's just that from the expressions of them alone is different to make a suspicion arise in my heart.