Deposits
the Heart of Keisha

“The seductress will be crushed with her the traitor. Is it really like that? Or is it just a saying? May it not happen to my life.”

- Andri

Keish:

Chequek...

I opened the door of the house, it looked dark, quiet and quiet. I could only sigh and then go inside the house. Not forgetting I turned on the lights in the living room, it felt very quiet because there was no one in this house. There's only me here. No one accompanied.

I threw my body onto the sofa that felt so soft I sighed again. If alone like this I feel like a lonely person, even if there is Andri I will not feel lonely like this. If God had given me a son, he would have accompanied me when Andri went like this.

But what is power, everything has not materialized until now. I lowered my head and stroked my stomach slowly staring at my heart and imagining my stomach growing. “When do you stop by mama's belly son? When will you stay in your mother's womb for 9 months? Right now mama is struggling for you to feel stay in your stomach, everywhere mama takes you, caressing you non-stop and always invite you to chat every day,” I smile softly, talking to my own very flat stomach.

Not feeling my tears have come down with his own, I sob “Mama always pray to the Almighty to give the trust to mama. Mama would love to feel how it feels nausea, decreased appetite, cravings in the middle of the night, kicked you while in the womb, when you move here and there, when mama complained of pain when you grew up in her, and when mama cried because she could not bear the pain of her pregnancy. Mama really wants to feel it all son, when are you present hem? When are you present in the belly of mama?” I cried sobbing, imagining it was all that this might never happen to me.

It hurt when I imagined it all, like a thorn stuck in my heart.

Then I hugged myself, trying to give strength to myself while letting out a sense of my desire that was getting bigger every year. I'm just asking, when? When's? When did my wish come true, right? When is all this going to happen?

I laid my body on the sofa, wiping away the tears that were flowing so profusely. Maybe all this time I used a mask in front of other people.

People think I may always be happy with the smile that always adorns my face. In fact today, when I was alone, I cried with greatness

it let out such a huge wound, giving off the pain of waiting for so long for so many years.

It's not that I don't believe in this long wait that hasn't come to me. It's just that 10 years is not a short time to wait for the baby. It's been a thousand ways and a thousand attempts so that I can have a child. In fact, until now my efforts have not yielded results.

Until Andri may feel tired with the effort we have done for 10 years. But even so, he never showed his fatigue in front of me. He always said, “Please dear, God will definitely give trust to us. We just need to try, fight and pray to get it all. Never despair, keep strong and strong for my sake.”

Crying and getting hurt for how many times. Let this pain, this cry only God knows, only this house hears. I don't want to let everyone know that I have a profound pain in my heart.

Feeling tired and feeling that I have had many tears, I decided to sleep here by curling my body. I guess, just crying for a while makes this heart become a little calm and relieved. It's okay Keisha, you need to cry for a while, you don't need to be strong-willed and tough-ass in front of the crowd.

Since your heart is not as strong as steel, your heart is not as strong as iron that stands firm. You need to be fragile, fall and get hurt. But remember, you need to rise from this slump, no need to linger to enjoy all these slumps.

I slowly closed my eyes, breathing a long, rough breath. Letting me into the dream crib and letting my tiredness go even with sleep. At least this way everything will be fine, won't it?

...

...

...

The sun gushed its rays into the living room, making me blink my eyes many times. I got up from my sleep, my head was in pain.

I held my head and grimaced, maybe it was due to the effect of crying all night. I don't know what time it is, just look for my phone.

I remembered that I had not taken out the phone in my little bag. I took it out and looked at the clock, it was 9. Oh, my God, I woke up bad.

Waitaminute! If it's 9 o'clock it means Andri has arrived in Paris dong? But why there is no notification from Andri. At least he sent me a message that he couldn't call me when he got there.

I can't wait like this, I'll just go find Andri's number and call her. There was a ringing tone there, I bit my finger, a sign that I was waiting and could not wait to hear his voice. That heavy voice, that voice that made me miss him when he was away from me.

But Andri didn't pick up my phone. There was even a tone from the center that answered him, I sighed then I tried to contact him again. Still, he didn't lift it. For the third time, he did not pick up the phone.

What's the matter? Why didn't he pick up my phone? Does he not miss me? Does he not want to know where I am here? Andri, know that I miss you right now. Hugely.