FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 100 "Send Mail"

*Hafizah Palace

Before the dawn.

"Beauty too" I murmured while wearing a mukena.

"Whatever why?" ask Ufi Ma'am who is rubbing her face with a towel.

"That night...Gus Fakhar and Bu Nyai asked to make fried rice. But, when I sliced an onion, I did not, Ma'am. This much blood. The tearing is deep enough."

"Oh Allah, piye (how) is it..now it has been bandaged again has it not?"

"Yet. No need, Ma'am. Later than we are busy worshipers."

"Sir, Ma'am, you be careful lo, yes."

"meaning?" I frowned. Taking prayer mats.

"Whose blood last night?"

"Gus Fakhar."

"Well, well that's it. That, tuh. What if Gus Fakhar took the initiative to use your blood to test for DNA?"

"Are Gus Fakhar thinking about DNA testing?"

"Ehm, yesterday Gus Fakhar, right, I told you that you have it.eemm. Waiting for time, this."

"Sir, don't make me groggy dong."

"See later, Ma'am Iz. Yuk, worshipers."

Ba'da jamaah dawn.

Last night I thought about asking Gus Fakhar for help. Only the young are ready to ask for help at any time.

"Stay, Ma'am, yeah. I'm going there first." I gave my prayer to Ufi.

I hunted down the steps of Gus Fakhar who was about to take off his sandals. He looked up because he heard my sandals.

"Running around like that?" He looked at my hand.

"Where's your finger bandage?"

"Later put it again, Gus."

"But the blood isn't coming out anymore, is it?"

"Mboten (no)."

"What's going on?"

"Gus, I'm asking for permission to get out of the cabin."

"Well?"

"I want to send you a letter."

"For whom? Your mommy?"

"Snapjeh. About that last night, Gus."

"How did you answer?"

I wish Gus Fakhar hadn't asked me much. But, if I'm not honest with him, I'm even more shy. But I often ask for help.

"This is me just take a picture. Your parents have cell phones, right?"

"Nothing, Gus."

"Brother?"

"Mother I have, but I don't have the number."

"If you ask Kang Bimo for help, you write down the destination address."

"But, I'm hesitating, Gus."

"Yes already. Just jerk."

He entered ndalem. There are not five minutes, Kang Bimo came.

"That's it!" said Gus Fakhar in the middle of the door while holding his phone. Pointing Kang Bimo behind me.

"Kang, Iza would like to ask you to send a letter to the post."

"In a moment, yes, Kang." I tiptoed towards the side door.

"That address, Kang. I plaster it in his letter."

I don't know why Kang Bimo always misbehaves me. Suddenly nervous and stiff talk. The letter seemed to shake as it changed hands.

"Thank you, Kang. Oh, that's the money already inside. The rest is fine with just bring it is okay to buy coffee. If it's leftovers, Kang. God willing, the rest."

Kang Bimo walked away.

"Iz, did you accept Mas Yazeed's proposal?"

"I'm sending it to Ibuk."

"If your parents agree?"

"I'm a nut, Gus."

"You said that time, your mother wasn't a typical forger."

"According to Ibuk's request doesn't hurt, Gus. Just like the njenengan who received Ning Ulya because of Bu Nyai's request. I also learned from the njenengan, Gus."

"Iz, look at me! You girls. I'm male. I know the character of Mas Yazeed. Sory, Iz, but you don't know yet why he got divorced from his first wife."

"If you may know what is the difference between a man and a woman after marriage, Gus?"

"It's not a matter of difference. But, there are only two possibilities, you will continue to grow or even just be able to harbour your ideals. The choice was success before marriage or after marriage."

"Sorry, Gus."

"Not an apology I want to hear."

I'm silent for a moment. The more I get here I feel a little awkward. Isn't Gus Fakhar's attention to me that's excessive? I am not his brother, let alone his future wife. Ning Ulya alone did not get this kind of attention. When they were together, they looked cold. They keep their distance. But, another attitude to me. I promised myself to keep my distance from him. I was worried that Ning Ulya was jealous of the ambiguity of Gus Fakhar's attitude that I didn't understand why he was like that.

"I'm ready to help if you want to focus on memorization and lectures. That's when you married. Wait at least four or five years. The most prattest."

I'm looking. Straight to his eyes. "But, Gus, if I may know why the enthusiastic look at me?"

He just shut up.

"I'm sorry if I asked wrongly. Genengan noticed me so, did njenengan also think of Ning Ulya the same?"

He's still quiet. Waiting for me to finish the sentence.

"My life is no more important than Ning Ulya's life and the life she will live with."

"What if there's a guy who secretly likes you?"

My little heart immediately thought that Gus Fakharlah was the man in question. But, my mind does not justify it, which if reasoned still feels less logical. For me it's very unlikely.

"Where, Iz?"

"It's best that the man throw away his feelings, Gus."

"Reason?"

I'm shaking. I know my limits, anything I can be clear about. I also do not blame him for seeming too meddling in my affairs. He was only looking at women who should not be cared for.

"Iz, but if you really want to memorize until mutqin, I'm ready to help. You can pay with Ma'am Ulya if we are married later. Take advantage of your closeness with Ummik to reach for the rid. Don't delay your rote. Wait what to? Ummik must be really marem if you want a deposit."

After cooking activities prepare breakfast for the son santri. Breakfast was handed over to the manager. The task of mbak ndalem is only cooking so that it is not too burdensome. Later single mbak ndalem waiting for all clean equipment, either plates, spoons, or empty cauldrons.

I saw from the kitchen door, Kang Bimo guiding his motorcycle. Then, approaching me.

"This, Ma'am. The rest of the money is in the envelope" he said, slightly bowing his face.

"Thank you, Kang. But, here's the rest you bring nothing."

"Mboten (no), Ma'am. Excuse me first."

"Snapjeh. Breakfast starts today for the manager, Kang. Send it straight to the mawon manager."

"Kang?" call Gus Fakhar.

"Before Trenggalek, we buy hampers, souvenirs, and fruit parcels for Kiai Ammar. If there's a sarong shop, come by. To Ulya's mother."

"Snouts, Gus. What time are you leaving?"

"Hour tenths. Wait for the activity to finish."

"Depart now, Gus?"

"Just have breakfast."

"Snouts, Gus. Genengan call me."

After some thought, I might have mistakenly thought that Gus Fakhar liked me. "What kind of guess is this? It's rude to think Gus himself likes it. O Allah, this (shy). Don't go, Oh God. Ning Ulya was already very suitable for him. He seemed to be also attentive with Ning Ulya. I'm sorry, Ning, if my attitude makes you jealous. But, I dare to guarantee that I will never like Gus Fakhar. Teacher is still a teacher. I won't be a husband" my inner.