FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 31 "The Old Ring"
*Fakharuddin Akhyar Al - Ameen
One by one the princesses were told to come to ndalem to meet me and ummi in the living room. Before ummi told santri to come in, ummi showed me a small box that I did not know what it contained.
"What is that, Mi?"
Ummi opened it. Stared at. Gave the box to my palm.
"Semono Abahmu sing maringi Ummi."
Translation: (It was Abahmu who gave this to Ummi)
"Maharr?"
"No, Le. Kerono gift Ummi biyen wis kasel ngandhut Adimu."
Translated: (No, Le. Gifts because Ummi used to be successfully pregnant with your sister)
"Then why did Ummi give it to me? Better keep it. These are memories for Tsaniya." Kukuntur.
Ummi refused while replying, "Fakhar, paringno iki nang wadon sing kok tresnani."
Translation: (Fakhar, give this to the woman you love)
"Fakhar hasn't liked anyone yet, Mi. Saestu (really)."
"Ummi knows. Makane, iki dino Ummi ngaturi Mbak mrene."
Translated: (Ummi knows. Therefore, today Ummi sent Mbak Mbak here)
"Mom, mlebuo kabeh, Ma'am!"
Translation: (Mbak, come in all, Ma'am!)
"Ummi doesn't have to be this fast, Mi."
"Mung danggo view. Sometimes the iso is immediately conveyed your lek fits. Ndak fits you no problem. Important dikobo."
Translated: (Only for views. You can apply at any time if you are suitable. Not suitable no problem. Important try first)
I relented. I noticed one by one the faces of the princess who took turns into the living room, sitting down while looking down. My eyes count nine of them. This is how Ummi's intention is to offer me his choice of students. Of the hundreds of princess santri that exist, it means they are the most special in the heart of ummi even though not all of them look beautiful.
"Mbak, cobo sampeyan iki apalan rong rai ae. Sing according to sampeyan lanyah. The turn is so great, Ulya)
Translate: (Mbak, try you guys forget to memorize two glasses only, Ma'am. Whatever you think is good. Turn from Mba Ulya)
"Dirt, Ma'am! Mongos!" I said.
The soldiers looked at each other. Friends who are close to Mbak Ulya nudged the arm of Mbak Ulya to get started. The other Santri tried to sort out and choose the memorization they would offer. In fact, they also did not know what their intentions and purposes were to be summoned here.
One by one passed the memorization of the two glasses well. Almost as good. There is no gap for me to choose because they are indeed students who memorize mutqin with a reading that has been fashih.
After that, ummi kept quiet for a while. I think ummi is like me. Then, ummi asked personal questions about the number of siblings and the work of parents. The question was answered completely. Ummi still hesitated. Looks like there's still something to ask.
"Who here has college goals?" I precede tanya. I asked that because I aspired to marry a campus activist. Not santri is not a problem either. But, either ummi agrees or not. I've never talked about this to the family considering it's still an early discourse.
Ulya and Amirah raised their hands.
Ummi was silent. But soon they told them to leave. Ummi said matur nuwun while offering the back of the hand.
"Piye?" (How?)
"Everything's good. Fakhar did not doubt the students of Ummi's choice."
"Ummi sing milihne?"
Translation: (Ummi who chose?)
"Look, Mi. Fakhar wants a story. Fakhar's goal is to marry a college girl. It doesn't have to be santri. It is important to have faith and be able to pay. That's enough."
"Kudu sing ngono kui?"
"No need. But, Fakhar put such a woman first."
"According to Ummi lacking the sekufu, Le."
"Fakhar has had enough of all this. No need to look at the same woman as me. Just being with such a woman is more fun. They can be more open, Mi. Not just thinking of me as his teacher. Fakhar promises to choose a woman who would be worthy to be Ummi's son-in-law."
"Ummi doubts you're duweni's choice of ngono kui." Ummi disappointed.
Translation: (Ummi doubts you have such a choice) Ummi is disappointed.
"Ummi just trust Fakhar."
"Gek adus kono, Le."
Translation: (Quick shower there, Le)
I was bengong to hear ummi's response. However, I did not tell ummi to respond back. Ummi's face and words contrast. I don't get a definite meaning.
*Hafizah Palace
Of October.
As I promised at that time, sanctification and prayer of repentance became a condition for us if we want to return to being human as in general. By getting closer to God, it will provide a sense of protection. Because sometimes every time I see a human gaze, I feel like I am being judged. I feel stripped raw. And those feelings I did not show Ratna. I don't want Ratna to be overly anxious and traumatized to meet strangers.
Rampung perform the two rituals, I took Ratna for food. I'm hungry too. We covered the sidewalk while looking at the stalls where buyers were crowded. I held back Ratna's advance. I looked at the shop.
"What do you want?"
"We go in there."
"I don't want to. No, Zah. If you insist, I'd better go alone. Don't force it this time. It's too crowded inside."
"Who knows we can help the seller, then we are given a plate of rice. You still don't want to, Ratna?" I felt a shiver in my stomach.
Ratna's eyes were looking down at me.
"You're a really big laper?"
"You too, right?"
He's nodding. But, anxiety stopped his desire.
"Yes already. I'm going inside first. You just wait outside. If I can eat later, I'll take him out."
He confirmed my words.
"Don't go anywhere, yeah."
I walked slowly by getting rid of the doubts that were bothering me. I tried to ignore the sight that suddenly turned to my eyes, like I was guessing. I wish it was just my illusion. I did not dare to linger around with my eyes. But, before I approached the busy seller, barely visible from the food ordering, I saw the man who was helping me at one of the tables. Ah, but that's not important. I don't have to talk about greeting him.
"Sorry excuse me." I tiptoed around trying to talk to the seller.
"Excuse me." Unfortunately, my shrill voice was drowned out by the crowd of food stalls.
I wanted to shake off the body that was blocking my view, but it seemed impolite. My stomach is shaking again. I let out a breath. Flip body.
And....
I hit someone's body. He automatically distanced his distance. Our eyes cross. Then, he greeted me first with an ordinary cry. Not surprised. Face flat.
"Sorry, sorry."
I shuffled quickly.
"Would you like to eat?"
I shut it down for a moment. I just want to refuse. But, if I choose my prestige, Ratna will also starve. I nodded my head. He told me to sit with his eyes. At first glance I thought, why does he look so cold? It's colder than his attitude at home. When the men who came to the trash were thirsty and asked for as much rations to drink, he had already felt enough with a glass of water in hand.