FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 192 "Asma' bint Yazid"

*Tsaniya Tabriz

"Mik, miss Ibuk. Niya wants to be here first, nggeh."

"Yowis lek sampeyan wants neng kene dik ndak opo-opo" said abah. Ummik turned his head, whispering bah.

Translation: (Yes if you want to be here first is okay)

Ummik looked back at me. "Sir, you want to neng kene until when?"

Translation: (Nduk, you want to be here until when?)

"Monggo dhaharane." (Please eat) Ibuk put two plates of gathot. Then, back to the kitchen.

"Don't know until when, Mik."

I still feel like I need to stay away for a moment. I need some calm.

"Yes uwis, Nduk. Ummik ndak mexico."

Translation: (Yes already, Nduk. Ummik not forcing)

"Well, monggo wangsul mawon lek ngoten."

Translate: (Well, let's go home then)

Ummik. I stammered. I want to hold ummik away, but I still want to stay. My old house is a place for me to return to complete all my feelings. And so, when I returned to the pesantren, I was able to face my marriage happily.

Because ummik forced abah to move immediately, they finally rushed. Including brother and Yazeed. They intend to pamit before the mother presents. I'm sculpting. My heart told me to stay, while my mind did not agree I let ummik go home disappointed. After listening to ummik's guilt, I felt much more wrong in my hurry to tell the truth. My feet refused to follow their steps.

Ummik precedes the road. And yet, he looks at me silently. I returned that gaze, but did not dare to linger. So did brother and Yazeed. He sighed like he didn't want to say anything. Then, Yazeed delivered a message in his cold eyes.

I'm bowed. Brother, brother, and ummik are out. Yazeed sat down. Bending his body to reach my face which I kept hiding.

"Hey, don't be rich like your Ummik. I don't have you that kind of old man attitude." The tone is not rough. It just softened from the last I heard before coming home from his lodge. But I dare not look up.

"Hey, Niya? You're letting your ummik get mad?"

I silenced.

"I'm disappointed. You shouldn't have ignored your Ummmik's request to come home."

I swallowed spit.

"Yaz, you don't know how I feel, Yaz. It took me a lot of courage to tell Abah and Ummik. I thought I'd be relieved to tell you a story. Apparently not, Yaz. Moreover, I heard Ummik so blame himself. If I didn't tell you, Ummik wouldn't have thought."

"The heart is not always true. Give reason to be straight. Let's go!"

"Yaz?" I pleaded with my eyes.

"Before your Ummik thinks everywhere, once again I take you home. Hear me! If you choose to stay here, ignoring your Ummik request, your Ummik can think you have not fully considered your Ummik as a mother."

"No, Yaz. I don't mean to go there."

Yazeed. "Go home, Niya!"

I still want to stay here.

"I just found out. Yes, I just found out that your real attitude is like this. Okay. I understand now."

Maybe Yazeed thought I was selfish. Prioritizing feelings over my common sense. I also think of ummik and abah. I'm not entirely selfish.

Gawaiku. Kurogoh from my cloak pocket.

📞"Wa'alaikumussalam. Who'sis this?"

📞"I'm Nizam."

📞"Oh."

📞"In Tulungagung, yes?"

"Where does he know my number?" my inner.

📞"Yes, sir."

📞"Again stand what sit?"

📞"Stand."

📞"Try sitting down?"

I don't know what he really wants to talk about. Her voice is a bit strange.

📞"You remember the letter I sent you first?"

📞"Remember, Sir. But why?"

Yazeed was still in front of me. Watching me.

📞"Later if we're married, I'd like to tell you the rest."

📞"No, it's okay. Oh, yeah, I'll give you a special call. Which suits your personality."

The contant of my eyebrows is wrinkled. Whatdoes thatmean?

📞"Sir, to the point it's okay. It's already night."

📞"Asma' bint Yazid. Ever heard of his name? If I don't want to tell you for a minute. Sit comfortably and be a little patient. I'm telling you, yeah. Gini." He's been cleared of throat. I heard I was drinking too.

Kulirik Yazeed for a moment. I heard the back door of the house was opened. Maybe mother.

"Yaz, hang on, yeah."

Yazeed silent. Stretch his back. Sieced.

I'm back in focus.

📞"Among Sayyidah Khadijah, Sayyidah 'Aisha, Sayyidah Hafshah bint Umar, Already bint Zam' ah, Sayyidah Shafiyyah, Ramlah bint Safyan, there is another among them exemplary women throughout the zam. His name is the one I mentioned. Asma' bint Yazeed. After I saw the story, I remembered you, Ning."

I cringe.

📞"Why?"

📞"He is a great mujahidah, noble, intelligent, good at expressing opinions."

📞"His relationship with me?"

📞"There are other privileges. Sayyidah Asma' has very good sensory sensitivity. The foresight of his feelings and the necessity of his heart made him far looked upon special. He is also a strong and courageous mujahidah. It has been told by Imam Ibn Hajar that he was Asma' bint Yazid bin As-Sakan who accompanied the war of Yarmuk. He killed nine Roman soldiers. She was so dashing as a woman who was said to have a very delicate heart. And, he never played around in war. If anyone bears witness to Sayyidah Asma's struggle, it means that he is indeed extraordinary."

I listened carefully. I can wait patiently for its continuation.

📞"Ning, what we're dealing with now is not war. But, our own lust. You are a gentle hearted woman. You can understand the hearts of others well. Go home! No one can understand your feelings, other than yourself. Yea?"

I was quiet for a few seconds.

📞"Where? Wanna, huh? Mau dong's. Cook no?"

His voice was half-tempting. My little laugh came off.

📞"Yes I'm home."

📞"Alhamdulillah. Yes I'm closed, Yes Asma'."

Nyut! I suddenly blushed, she said so.

📞"Snack."

📞"Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah?"

I answer in my heart.

I looked at Yazeed's face change. I'm clumsy. I didn't realize he was waiting for me.

I'm rising. I saw abah, ummik, and brother bebeucara with ibuk. I approached them. And Yazeed followed me.

"Your mother?"

"Yo, Son?"

"I'm home now, yeah."

Mother smiled. "Yes. The calm yo. God willing Ibuk to the cottage on the 16th. Dongakno Ibuk rejekine uakeeeh (do Ibuk much nutrition)."

"Yes, Buk. I must be praying. But, I need not bring anything. Enough Ibuk came with Mbak and Bungsu, I've been very fond of, Buk."

"Yes. Yes, Son."

I took the back of that hand. You pooped.

"Mik, just a moment. Niya wants to get the stuff first."

Ummik.

When I got back, ummiklah who was still outside the car. I'm going to one car with abah and ummik only. There's no way I'm with Yazeed in a heartwarming moment like this.

Ummik and I say goodbye.

The car through the darkness. Crossing quickly opened the silent streets whose terrain continued to decline.

"Mik, Niya's sorry."

"Religion, Nduk. Don't think about maneh. Date pitulas sampeyan arepe nggae henna to?"

Translation: (Yes, Nduk. Don't think about it anymore. You want to wear henna, right?)

"Enggeh."

After that I looked. It was re-spread in my memory. The name Asma' bint Yazeed was said by Mr. Nizam. Come to think of it, she was quite good at seducing me in such a way. The corner of my lips was just drawn.