FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 40 "Meeting with Mother"
*Hafizah Palace
"I miss you, Mom. Hugely. But, how can I explain to you that you don't regret letting me go with Mas Hakim back then?" my inner.
I came home with nothing. It brings the chaos. Anxious groping my wishful thinking. I must have had such great hopes for me. Wanted his son to bring the happy news of success working out of town. Maybe it wasn't the money my mother asked for. But, more because the happiness of the mother from the beginning just wanted my future more secure with me can be successful from an early age. What actually? The judge lied to me. The Judge I now hate. I myself do not fund poor people like me can be used. Persuade his appeal in the mother is in fact nothing more than mere babbling.
After meeting with Mr. Nizam and his friends last night, Ratna and I agreed not to go home immediately. We slept in a small musala on the side of the road that was far from urban. Before dawn, then we set off hitchhiking pick-ups who had just finished shopping for mature vegetables at the afternoon market. The journey home is not long. About fifteen minutes until.
Kupandangi Ratna who has fallen asleep. Leaning his head to a pile of fresh cabbage sacks. Unfortunately his fate was left by both parents. It was true that he no longer needed to explain to them where he had been all this time. However, how happy would Ratna's heart be if not the sad news he heard. She's a stoic woman even though I don't know how big of a wound she's feeling. I can't possibly be the one who is able to pierce through the same feelings.
"Thank you for accompanying me on my way to my shady harbor, Ratna," my inner self kept staring at her.
I myself cannot sleep. I'm still trying to put words together, offering a series of reasons that won't make my mother's heart alone. There are only two options: honest or lying. I never lied to my mother, but I also find it hard to be honest. My mother was the reason why I went and came back. And lies cannot be between them.
"Hm." All of a sudden I remembered a letter sent in August. There wasn't two months ago.
"Maybe you know who sent this letter."
I read it again. And, it still feels the same. Very touching. I feel very appreciated. However, the visitation and estimation were too far away.
I imagine her sweet face. Charming attitude. Fair-spoken. Wise in his word. Straight hair. Steady and firm in his steps. Form a painting in the imagination. He's a very handsome one. He is perfect as an ordinary man. The words he drew together inserted the message of heaven.
The garbage can has taught me to be a more mature woman. In fact, I have attained a knowledge that no woman of my age has ever known. I can judge and feel a man. Just like Ratna, I became more sensitive. I felt the kindness implied in the letter.
"Where are you down?" His head was out. Then, scream to get to my hearing.
"The first hamlet after this ramp runs out, sir." I was also a bit screaming.
"Yes." Yeah."
Not long after, the pick up car stopped at the first house after passing through a quiet road and uphill in the middle of the forest.
"Ratna, wakeup!" I hit his thigh.
Ratna.
"It's over."
Ratna squirming. Rubbing his left eye. Looking to the left right.
"Where is your house."
I got out of the car and replied, "We go there first. You get down quickly, Ratna."
Ratna may be a little upset her deep sleep has been disrupted. He went down slowly.
"How much does it cost, sir?"
"No need to."
"Loh, sir." I doubt if the driver won't even accept it.
"This, ngggeh. Please accept."
The driver is not a citizen here. I think that a hundred thousand dollars would be enough. Only two hundred thousand bills I can use. Halal is given to anyone. Unfortunately, the driver still refused firmly, even sounding like an angry person. I can't force. I thanked him. In the midst of my longing journey, God sent good people to help me.
"But my stomach hurts."
"How sick? Pain or what, Ratna?"
"Maybe I catch a cold."
"What kind of wind? Bloating or vomiting?"
Ratna spared quickly. He covered his mouth. He spewed out the remaining food that had been digested.
"Totally rude?" The back of Ratna.
"Many as well." Vomiting again.
"I can do it." Ratna chose to walk as usual. Maybe he doesn't want to be the center of attention. Afraid to ask people why they should be led the way.
"My house is on the other end."
Not long after I left the house. But his longing is many times as it has been a century. The ship continues to sail towards the dock. There will be no longer the most appropriate nostrils for me except the lap of the mother. Getting closer to it, I slowed down. I am ready to take another step.
"You must be worried, Zah?"
I let out a breath. I'm stepping back Ratna. One or two steps I count while stringing my words later.
Someone then said hello, "Unyil?"
I immediately looked. Only your friends are used to calling it. I found Bara and Solikah staring there with a smile. Their hands are waving. Solikah held Bara's hand, inviting her to run over to me and Ratna.
"Hey, how are you, Zah? How have you been working all this time?" Solikah enthusiastically awaits my response.
Nwuck! Ratna wants to vomit again. I'm looking.
"Nausea again?"
Ratna ran away. Looking for a place he could throw up something.
Bara and Solikah were silent. As soon as I looked at them, they asked in a similar manner, "Who is he?"
"My friend is called Rinai."
"In the wind, that" said Solikah.
"Maybe."
Bara added, "Sorry, Zah. It really is you muaaf. Just yesterday I heard that the Judge is working in an untrue place. Aren't you?"
"Attent." I intentionally left. Avoiding questions that instantly shook my heart. Ratna was also vomiting more severely than before.
"I'm lemes, Zah."
"We're home" I whispered.
I held Ratna's hand.
"Bar, Sol, I go home first, yeah. Tomorrow we continue talking."
"Oh, yes," replied Bara.
They looked at our footsteps in the opposite direction to those who were out of nowhere.
"Zah, did they ask me how did I hear the name of the Judge mentioned?"
"Say they have heard the work of Mas Hakim is not true."
"What?" His voice is rather humbling.
Bara and Solikah who are still close by also look back.
"Come on." I'm taking Ratna to speed things up.
I looked at my mother at the door. His head was looking for something.
"Mother?"
After looking to the left, mother looked thinly in front of her. Mom stutters. His already unkind gaze sought justification by advancing about fifteen steps. In her ten steps, my mother widened her smile. If it was still night, the sky would have suddenly darkened as the scythe moved on his face.
My mother hastened the pace.
"Fizah? Son, healthy?" Both of my hands are holding my cheeks.