FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 191 "Ummic Excavators"

*Tsaniya Tabriz

I almost forgot something. The tree house that my father made especially for me. That's because I'm often touched by mbak when we're together. Maybe mr. welas until finally woke me up a special place behind the house. I rarely empathize. Last two years ago because the wood was rotten. But, when I got home, I went to the back, the tree house turned out to be fixed. The wood is new.

The stairs and the walls were made of black bamboo trees, the floor was teak wood, and the roof was only from a haystack. When it rains, it does not wet. But the temperature felt very cold. In addition to the hollow walls, the back of the house is indeed full of trees. When the rainy season comes, I'm afraid to go back alone. Trees are sometimes like a rage. Fighting in the rain.

What time is it? I see it's still half a day. But the day is like sadness. The sky just cried. Angrier. Expel all birds that want to lay eggs and incubate their young in the nest. The squirrel in the coconut tree almost lost control, fell to the ground, then jumped back here and there. The rain is not too heavy. I'm raising my hand. I let the water from the end of the straw drip slowly. So did my feet that were hanging, exposed to some of the rain that fell into the puddle.

I let my gawa die.

Once I asked, "Lord, how extensive is your forgiveness. How cheap is your love. How great is your greatness. How much pleasure You give to every human being without You distinguishing who they are. Even those who do not believe, you give pleasure. How inappropriate it is for me to escape on such a small calamity. How tall my ego is. I just want to be calm, at peace with all those pleasures. If gratitude is part of the blessing itself, then how can I be grateful for Your permission I can be grateful.

"I'm sorry, Ummik, Abah. I've embarrassed you all. Maybe I should get away from the boarding school for a while so you don't even think about me. That's why you also choose to leave. Maybe because this reality is too disgusted to be heard. I just can't, let alone you. I know there's no disappointment in your faces. Your silence I can only deduce into one thing, you also need time to digest everything. Same. But, I've let go of one burden that weighed on my shoulder months ago.

After dawn was ummik and abah went on pilgrimage guardian jatim only three with Kang Bimo, I decided to Tulungagung leave alone. Also without a say to anyone. There are only a few students who know I came out of the boarding school carrying a medium-sized bag, santri who was in the back row while sleepy listening to my brother read the meaning of the book. I brought you a smart phone that you bought to order a taxi online. Maybe something has gone wrong. And maybe it was my fortune. I let go of my fear of getting home to meet my mother.

Smart phone turn on. After the brother's messages and some calls from him came in, I turned off the data again. A few minutes later I turned it on, there was one unknown number sending a message. Yazeed wrote down some chatter that made me witty.

"Niya, it's Yaz. Where are you? I'm worried."

I read the pop-up notification when my smart phone screen is off. I've been looking at it for a few minutes. The light is unclear. Maybe I myself haven't completely forgotten how I feel about her. In fact, the worry is so real and felt. Even though it's not as big as it used to be. So quickly did God turn the hearts of men.

Now there are two names in it. But, that feeling still often wavers. Once he chose to surrender and accept Mr. Nizam as his destiny, but at another time Yazeed was still often present to shadow.

An hour later.

I crumpled in the room after adding a half-glass rote. I let the Koran remain in captivity. I picked up my smart phone with my left hand. Data I enable. Notif one missed call from Yazeed.

He also sent a message.

"I'll look for you until I can."

I didn't expect anyone to come here to talk me home. I know I'm getting married soon. And I will definitely return to my destiny. But, maybe two days' worth I want to stay here. After all, my sister and mother are not as rough as before. His attitude changed drastically. I found a new atmosphere like being able to flap my wings, then fly over the clouds. Yeah, it's because me and all the memories are in this house. Fused with the walls. Wouldn't it be natural if I chose to go home to the place where I grew up?

I knocked on the door. Requesting entry permit.

"Happy, why bring the food here?"

I just smiled. Now my mother's attitude is like a servant serving me. I honestly don't like to see it that way. Suffice my mother to see me as Fizah, not Niya the daughter of a kiai. Even if ibuk intended it for the sake of seeking blessings, I had nothing but blasphemy.

"Nduk, stop. The semringah mbokyo. Ayune luntur lo."

I chuckled and mom widened her smile.

"Bu Nyai and Kiai may not leave because they are disappointed in you or even doubt the honesty of their own children. Sampeyan understand?"

"Keep, Buk."

"If they doubt you, it is natural. Try to get there in the position of the two of them. Dozens of years did not meet, (suddenly) there is news news of this magnitude."

Some of the stories I told my mother.

"Bu Nyai asked not because he doubted, but only worried when it really happened, son. I also have to worry."

"I'm afraid they're too sad to hear my story. Especially now Abah and Ummik personal pilgrimage guardian of five, Buk."

"Mugo-mugo is their way of praying for your safety. Opo, son, lingo?"

"Yes that. There's another one."

"Propositions?"

"Yo kui (yes it is)."

Almost ten o'clock at night. The sound of frogs crunching, the sound of crickets is quite loud.

Several times there was an incoming call. Still ignoring. My brother's dadi messages I don't want to open. That's why my brother threatened to scold me if I didn't reply immediately. Next call from Yazeed.

Shortly after, the car with a noisy engine stopped right in front of the house. But, I've guessed it's brother's car. I peeked at them from the living room window curtains. Is correct. But, following the car behind him, who also stopped in the yard. I was surprised and ummik followed me. How could they know I was here, when my mother had told Yazeed that I was not in Tulungagung.

"Sopo, Son?" ask ibuk while yawning.

"Abang, Abah and Ummik."

"Yet." Kontan ibuk stuttered his movements. She tied her hair quickly. He told me to open the door immediately, and she walked into the kitchen.

Brother said hello.

"Wa'alaikumussalam."

I opened those two doors. I let them in. I kiss the hands of abah and ummik. They all sat down, except ummik.

"Nduk, sampeyan kenopo kok ndadak muleh rene ndak by the way your brother?"

Translation: (Nduk, why are you coming back here not saying your brother?)

I'm shaking. I wanted to hear the immediate certainty that ummik was neither angry nor disappointed in me. I waited.

"Yo, Nduk?" (Home home, yes, Nduk?)

"Come home, Mik, but Niya wants to be here first."

"Ummik, sit down first, Mik," said brother.

In this sitting position face to face, it just so happened that Yazeed was right in front of me. I dare not look at him much. I focused on listening to ummik seduce me into going home with him tonight. I still have a lot to tell my mom.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted, but I just wanted to say a few things. Niya was as strong as she could to keep everything. Niya tried to keep her faith. Thanks to Niya's escape from there, the place was soon forcibly disbanded by security forces" Yazeed said.

I was stunned with a look down. Yazeed knew that I was coming home because I told my family everything. It was precisely the brother who still spelled out the atmosphere. His face half understood. Spelling what I am expressing. I looked at the faces of the people one by one.

"Sorry to me." Come out those three words.

"Ummik ndak nesu, Nduk. But, Ummik ngroso ndak useful in an Ibuk. Ummik isin karo Gusti Allah, Nduk, Nduk."

Translated: (Ummik not angry, Nduk. But, Ummik felt useless to be a Mother. Shame on Allah, Nduk, Nduk)

"Mboten (no, , Mik, mboten, Ya Allaaaah." Ummik kupeluk.

The quelles of ummik's back were shaken. I didn't think that was exactly what ummik thought. A mother's mind that her child cannot reach. Ummik is completely innocent in this matter, but that is his attitude. Too beautiful to be referred to as a ringed angel.

BEARERS \= HEARTS

Alhamdulillahot. Good night everyone.. So that's the reason why abah and ummik go ziaroh. Thank you for your best prayer. 😁 Tomorrow insyaallah there is part night henna. 😋😇😇😅🙏 Welcome to read.