FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 60 "On the Road"

At first Fizah still wanted me to hide. But, gpp, deh, appear only. I'll hide again. 🤭🤭😁

*Hafizah Palace

I'm still confused where to go. I saw Mr. Nizam drive ahead of me. Meanwhile, I see Ratna's getting worse. I feel sorry for thinking about the contents.

"Where are we going?"

"Where are we going to the terminal?"

"But, I'm afraid of fainting, Fizah."

"The money is just three hundred. I hope it's enough to survive."

"If later we have not found pesantren, we eat tirakat aja, yes. We buy bread. But now you have to check first. There's a midwife up ahead."

Ratna refused with an expression.

"Come on! You can't refuse. You must take medicine if you want to escape. In your stomach is a human being."

In the end I stayed in control of Ratna. He could not remain sulking maintaining his fear. Meanwhile, the fear actually told him to run as far as possible.

We walked about four hundred meters. Practical is almost closed. But, I held back with my greeting. The midwife took a quick look at us, then let us in. Maybe the midwife looked at our slashing faces.

"Sir, who wants to check the contents."

"My friend, Midwife Ma'am."

Madam Midwife got up. He ordered Ratna to lie down. Ratna put the bag on her lap. Slowly lie down on the bed.

"Where's her husband going?"

"Su..suami.ssss-I'm dead."

"She was left dead by her parents and husband." I had to lie.

"Oh my God, and then in-laws?"

"We're traveling there. Yes, we will go there, ma'am" replied Ratna.

"We're going to the terminal first, Madam Midwife," I said.

"When I got pregnant. How many months has it been?"

"Not yet."

"Never checked before?"

Ratna shakes.

"But, have you ever checked using a test pack?"

Ratna nodded again.

"Am I really pregnant?"

The midwife touched Ratna's stomach for a few seconds.

"Yes right. She's pregnant."

"When does menstruation end?"

"It's been a long time, Mom. I forgot."

"It can actually be checked with USG. What's checked?"

"No, Miss Midwife." I'm muttering.

"Yes already. This estimate is three months pregnant. Week to how many, I can't be sure."

Sounded sobs. It must have been very painful for Ratna. He felt humiliated at Mr. Su's actions.

"But, Ratna, to me you remain precious," my mind saw the water in the corner of his eyes falling onto the pillow.

"What complaint?"

"I'm limp, dehydrated."

"Mother has to rest a lot."

"Mom can give him vitamins or medicine?"

"In fact, not treated can be as long as the rest is enough. Keep emotions. Control feelings because it's also good for fetal development."

"Yes already. A moment."

The midwife finally gave two kinds of vitamins.

Ratna sat down next to me.

"Remember. Keep resting. Keep health. The first trimester is vulnerable. It's the first pregnancy, right?"

"Yes" answered Ratna.

We continue our journey.

"We go to the mosque first, yeah. But, we'll get some bread and mineral water to eat. Let's start ojek when we pray."

"Did I trouble you, Fizah?"

"Don't think about it first. We're both hard now."

I pulled the bag Ratna was holding.

"It's okay, Zah. I can take it."

"You can, after all, trust in the care of Allah."

"But, Zah, I never wanted this kid. Why is my destiny like this? You know the answer, don't you, Zah?"

"I don't know" I replied. I precede the way.

"Fizah, answer me first."

"How can I answer, Ratna. I don't know, though. Had enough. Shrimp think its weight. If you think too hard, we can't escape." I'm furious. Dizziness. My stomach was rumbling because at the stall I had not had time to eat the food ordered by Mr. Nizam.

"Then, why did Mr. Nizam let us go alone, Zah? You said he was a good man. Where's evidence?"

I'm unmoving. I bit my lips. Ratna shook my arm, telling me to answer. I looked at him with teary eyes. "We can go without him. You understand that?" I hold the shakes in my voice. I immediately wiped my tears so as not to fall.

"Well. We'll get bread to eat and you'll take medicine."

Ratna just shut up.

*ratna

So far, I just still believe myself to be named Ratna. What I don't believe in is the fate that has befallen me. A bleak future. Never mind gray, I have no more light. I have little hope of staying in the pesantren as soon as possible.

When Fizah ignored me, I was afraid. I could see something different from his eyes. Why could he make me momentarily so submissive? I couldn't do anything when he started raising his voice. Other than that I just wanted to stay with her, I felt like there was something else that I could not understand. Back I remember when he tried to fight Mr. Su, but in the end Mr. Su floundered helplessly. No one knows what the cause is.

Fizah took me to the market. Just a few steps from the midwife's practice. I'm coming in. I was afraid to be alone outside. Mr. Su and Mas Hakim must still be in Tulungagung. The sudden appearance. Because I didn't think he'd meet me at Fizah's house.

"This bread, yes. Cheap."

I just nod.

Fizah carried a pack of bread and two sachets of chocolate milk, as well as a large bottle of mineral water. At the cashier, she took out a piece of fifty thousand money from her skirt pocket.

Then, we went to find the nearest musala.

"The best place when we're hard is God's house, Ratna." So said. He also looks tired.

We entered the village. Enter alley. Who knows if there are local musala. Shortly after, we saw people wearing peci entering the mosque. We also immediately carry out obligations before the moon replaces the phase.

"There's no mega. We can pray. Scribbles!" Fizah.

But, it turns out after going to the bathroom. He said he was old. He is the one who stands guard on the terrace of the musala. I dare to go to the bathroom. The word Fizah in the house of God must be safe.

"O Lord, my sin is as big as the ocean, but the vastness of the sky is the woman of Your love. Forgive all my sins, Lord. I'm shy. Shame." I beat it over and over again until I heard Fizah whispering from the door, telling me to quickly fold my face. Spontaneous I stand.

"We're getting out of here, Ratna."

I pushed Mukena to her place earlier.

"Why, Zah? Are there two of them?" I'm starting to get rowdy. I took the bag and bread.

Fizah held my arm.

I tried to find out where Mr. Su and the Judge were, but what I found was not them.

"I don't want to see him, Ratna. Let's get out of here."

I can catch that frustration. But why did Fizah get there?