FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 122 "Principles of Love"

*Yazeed Akiki Mubarak

"Can we talk for a second?" pinta Doctor Maher.

I condoned. We're a few yards from Ratna.

"A number of times I met him, I honestly sympathized with him. I picked up positive signals. Like Gus said at the time. If possible what he wants can be done here, please do. He has not been able to control his emotions well. The last meeting, he seemed to have been much healthier. But tonight I was pretty shocked. His emotions are unstable. With him freely doing what he wants to do, that would be a big help, Gus."

"OKAY. Thanks, Doc. I've been planning this too, but I don't think the time is right."

"It is precisely these times, the impulse from the outside is very influential. The impact is very good. I'm afraid if he doesn't get better, his depression will get heavier. It can affect the health of the body. If you have not checked the content, immediately check how the condition is."

"OK ready."

"And I also want to offer you something, Gus. Yes, if Ratna's willing, I want to marry her."

"Aren't you married?"

"My wife is dead. Eight months ago she was called God in childbirth. I have a daughter. Me and the baby sister who took care of him."

"The timing is not right."

"Now, Gus. If things are improving, maybe we can discuss this again."

"Please reflect on your intentions, Doc, if you want to marry her out of sympathy."

"He desperately needed someone else's hand. He is very worried about his son's fate. He needs an escort. If until the child is born, then he is burdened with the child's existence because he has to take care of it alone, I don't want anything to happen with his child."

"Dok, I thought otherwise. The birth of the child can be a big influence. He could actually. What could make him realize someday was the birth of his son."

"Yes. There's nothing wrong with your assumptions. That child would probably be a miracle for Ratna. Exactly what I've been through before, Gus. Everything changed drastically. About my offer, it's only if he wants to, Gus. At least in the future life, he could face his life with more confidence. So or not, it doesn't matter to me. What's important now is that I tell you, Gus, that he'll have more time to occupy his comfort zone."

Fifteen minutes Doctor Maher invites Ratna to communicate. After that he had a light conversation with Aynur who was still in treatment.

I stepped towards the stairs. I was stuck facing the moon whose light was mingling with the incandescent lights of the room and the courtyard. Also this light right above my head. I am free to look. The people here are still doing their thing. Year after year I developed this lodge. Keep it alive to stay sustainable. I give all my strength and effort for the way of the maslahah. I'm the only one who's the successor. But will I be alone forever?

Of course my parents who never touched on this matter were actually expecting. I don't care about being with anyone, but on condition that he'll also be able to accept everything that's going on here. And, maybe the right person is Ranaa Hafizah. Which turns out she's not Mini's real daughter.

I replayed the conversation back then. Marriage would not be possible without a guardian. Because blessing is still delayed. There was no shadow of any kind, which could possibly lead my way to Ranaa's true identity. And, unfortunately, Mini's mom told me not to say this to anyone. I don't know why my head feels tired and heavy tonight. Maybe I keep it all alone too much. And, it's time I found a partner who would listen to me talk. I have started thinking about it a lot lately.

The moon's incandescent becomes dim in the eye. I dropped my ass into the wicker chair behind me. I took a white pack cigarette out of my jacket pocket. One of the remaining three later. I raised my feet slowly along with the tip of the cigarette that began to stick on both of my lips. The first burst ran into the air. Getting further away from the center. Smoke and tahmid escaped for the second time. My feet swayed automatically. How can I reveal his identity?

"Yaz, Yaz, here!"

Aynur called me from below. So did Ratna who looked up, looking at me flatly. Both are pretty interesting women. But, there was no flame on Ratna's face. The sadness seemed to fill his days. As the development of the fetus that he is carrying.

If I were to marry Ratna, I could not believe in myself. Can I marry her without pity. For I will not turn compassion into love. That's my principle. Marriage should be based on pure love. Lately I've been watching him from far away. I studied him. I want his life to feel safe and honoured until his soul is completely recovered. Until he again finds the meaning of happiness in the midst of the misery of life he means. Meanwhile, it is a task that I deserve to give to all the residents who are here, Darul Amin Lodge.

I'm rising. Down the stairs with the usual steps. There I smoked the tip of my cigarette that was still burning.

"What's wrong?"

"Said Doctor Maher, I'm cured." His smile was ordinary.

As I looked at Ratna, Ratna threw away her face. He stood behind me. His face was absorbing the sky. His right hand slowly rubbed his stomach. The moon looks like a mother carrying a baby. Maybe he was looking at that? But, he already looked calmer than before.

"Yaz, I want to get out of here immediately" said Aynur.

"Where to go? It's not that your family no one cares. You want to see that psychic again?"

"Wherever I want."

"If you really feel like this is the most comfortable place for money for you, stay here whenever you want."

"I want to wander, Yaz," he said with conviction.

"Until I'm absolutely sure you'll never go back under that bucket, I'll let you go."

"I promise I won't repeat. You know, too, I never wanted to be there. That witch doctor I will never see her again."

"Do you want to get old on the road?"

I left to talk to Aynur, Ratna left without looking. I didn't stop him.

"I still have hope. I will live with God's nature. I'll take it even if it's hard." Almost at the end of the sentence, his voice suddenly shakes. Where was the strength he had been showing all along?

"That's it. Don't think about it now. Go back to your room!"

If I may know what makes Yazeed look appropriate to Ratna? 😅😅

How are you doing with everything? Some days not up hehe. Two eps hopefully can treat longing. Sorry, sorry, and thank you always. 💗🌷🌷🙏🙏

Met afternoon..