FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 139 "The Expression of the Heart"

*Hafizah Palace

I waited for Yazeed to speak. I'm not gonna force it. I know he can't. He still struggled to open his mouth.

"Eh, Kang, is there a similar paper pen?"

"I'll buy you one day, Mommy."

"Oh, yes."

His parents should be here. Why don't I see them? Not told or still need? The Yazeed's condition was too weak to ignore.

Kang Toyo is back. Poking at me a notebook and a ballpoint pen.

"Kang, why aren't his parents here?"

"Here you are. But they are always busy. There are many invitation lectures. They don't have badal. And it can't be canceled. Gus Yazeed was ordinary himself. I often accompany you, Mother. Only this time you're here. Thank you for coming."

"Because I want to talk about something, too. But, just later. Kang, please help me let Yazeed write. Maybe you want to sip something."

Kang Toyo nodded. He held the ballpoint pen against Yazeed's finger. With a still stammering motion, he wrote a few words. Exactly two words. Kang Toyo smiled as he glanced at me.

"What, Kang?"

Kang Toyo showed it.

Ilove you.

Inside, I smiled. But, I don't know if I should be happy because of Yazeed's expression of heart or if I consider it just as a test of me memorizing the Quran. But I still try to greet him with a smile. I looked at Yazeed and said, "There's more, Yaz?"

He winks.

I picked it up after a few minutes. The writing is longer. I spell.

But, who are you really?

I'm dumbfounded. "You mean, Yaz?"

Despite teetering, he was desperately trying to reply to my question. He's very enthusiastic. He wrote it a bit long. The pattern is longer and increasingly looks irregular. I read it slowly.

Who are your parents? I can't marry you without a guardian.

He thought that far? I myself am not thinking. I think my brother or my uncle is also enough to be the choice of who will be my guardian later. Does he mean he already knows the chaos that occurred in Ndalem Kiai Bahar? Is it possible that Gus Fakhar told him about the DNA test? Gus Fakhar thinks Yazeed is a man to know because Yazeed proposed to me?

"Yaz, so you're assuming I'm not my mother's biological child?"

Yazeed just looked at me.

I want to tell you everything that happened. But, what if it weighed on his mind? He's been hurt for helping me catch Mr. Su.

"I'm sorry, Yaz. Because of me you've become like this. If this is the case, leave it all to the police, Yaz."

I want to hear him answer all my words. I want us to talk as freely as ever.

"Sir, you've been stalked by that man all along. He knows where you are" Kang Toyo said.

I let out a breath.

"Gus Yazeed guessed they didn't just want to look for you for one thing. There must be something else. That place has been dissolved, Ma'am. There's no way you're wanted because you're gonna be forced to be her errand boy again."

Kang Toyo has a point.

"But I really don't think, Kang. I've never had a problem before."

"You ran away, Ma'am. For them it's a big deal."

"They're afraid I'm going to the police?"

"It doesn't seem like it. Kan, he's a fugitive now."

"Yes too. Deadlock, Kang. I don't get it. It was easy to report it to the police. But, even if later I was recorded as a victim of fraud, but I felt like I had opened my own disgrace. There's no way Mr. Su thought I'd report it. He knew I wouldn't dare to do it. And, apparently there is another way. Without me reporting and dragging my own good name, he's now a fugitive. Again, I don't know why. What good would it do if he got me?"

I nodded slowly.

Someone knocked on the door. Enter without greeting. I'm turning. Gus Fakhar came to bring me some fruit parcels.

"It's night. We go home now" he said later. He gave the parcel to Kang Toyo.

"Just a minute, Gus."

"Kang, Ratna's not here?"

"Nobody knows yet. Let alone. They don't need to know, Ma'am. Oh, aye. He was met by two men."

"Do any of them look like Yazeed?"

"less to know. I just received a report."

Maybe Mr. Nizam and his friend. I don't know what the purpose is to come to Magetan again. I didn't meet him. But, Ufi Ma'am told me everything they had talked about in the living room.

I'm saying home. But, from Yazeed's point of view, he's kind of preventing me from leaving. I was happy enough to know his heart. Actually there is still something I want to ask next, does that mean he is ready to wait for me, but he still doubts my true status? If true, it's only a matter of time. The day after the test came out. Yesterday the doctor suggested that the test be done using blood. Blood will be the best sample in forensic testing. There is a lot of DNA in the blood. That's why you don't have to wait long to see the results.

"Sheavenly, Mas. Iza and Iza said" said Gus Fakhar.

I'm rising. I close my mouth to her ear. "Yaz, get well soon. Thank you for your honesty. Thanks for believing in me so much. No doubt about me at all."

The adults looked at me like a child. And, he returned that gaze with his eyes lit up again. His sight feels warm.

"Lz?" Gus Fakhar, who had left the room, loosened his head.

"Assalamu'alaikum."

"Wa'alaikumussalam." Kang Toyo replied.

"Oh, hmm.that, Kang. I'm nitip Ratna, yes. Please take good care. She's mybest friend. Say hello, Kang."

"God willing I say."

"Summer, Kang."

In car.

"Iz, you have to be ready, yeah."

"Who's what, Gus?"

"Future test result."

"I'm worried about Miss Nyai. Miss Nyai's expectations must be huge."

"What is your hope to gather with your family that is not as big as Ummik's expectations, Iz?"

"I'm confused, Gus. A lot I think. If the test results say I'm not your brother, please don't be discouraged.

"Iz, I wonder about you. When I've treated you like this, you see Ummik close to you, you still haven't felt the warmth of Ummik's affection towards you? You still can't open up to yourself? I dare to hug you because of what, Iz?"

I'm shaking.

"Oh God." Gus Fakhar smiled. Half annoyed too. Maybe I thought I was insensitive.

"I was pulling you forcibly in the kitchen so that the santri-santri also get used to seeing the scene later. The feeling I've given you, I myself misinterpreted it, Iz. Should I also start getting used to calling you Tsaniya?"

"No need, Gus. Because everything is ambiguous. I really appreciate the kindness of the. The treatment to me that I realized was different."

"Well, that's you understand too."

"But, Gus, how does my mother feel?"

"Your mother can stay here."

"My mother's village is in Tulungagung, Gus. Pity my mother if she had to leave all her world. I can't give you any guarantee to make my mom happy after everything's revealed."