FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 108 "Reply Letter"
*Ulya Kamala Shansa
Why did I not want to cancel my match with Gus Fakhar? It's because I loved her since I was in junior high school. She didn't know I liked her secretly since I got my first period in eighth grade in second semester. I thought that after the match, I wasn't worried that she would choose another woman. Apparently everything is likely to happen. After I saw for myself their closeness and what Mbak Ufi said, plus what I see now, Gus Fakhar may indeed like Iza. He was able to grab the attention of Gus Fakhar in a short period of time. The heart will forever be God's most unpredictable secret. To whom it will eventually dock. Here there are passengers who are ready to board the boat with the captain.
I stared at Gus Fakhar's face. He left when I noticed him. Although my chest was hot, burning with jealousy, I tried to hold it back. It was only a matter of time until he was completely ready to accept the matchmaking. Until now, our destiny is still limited to receiving an engagement bond. But that was enough for us to always remember. Although it is not a legitimate bond, but it is very much related to the name of commitment. I still have to fight for my Quran until mutqin, while he also still has to fight for his knowledge and business. I accept the resignation of our wedding date. Ummik said the resignation was in addition to waiting for Gus Fakhar's readiness, also because he was waiting for Tsaniya's return.
"Ning?" call Iza.
I try to greet him with a smile.
"Why bring stuff here?"
"Mbak Iza was sent to move into santri's room."
"Haah? Why that?" I put my foot closer.
"No idea, Madam Ul. The main point of Ummik's messenger is so," replied Ufi again.
"There's a problem, Iz?" I looked at Iza who had trouble smiling. Looks like he's nervous.
"No, Ning."
"I told you, don't you, call me regular."
"Yes, Miss Ulya."
"Bu Nyai ndak will tell mbak ndalem to move if there is no problem that is quite alarming. Yeah, that's it, isn't it, Miss Fi?" At the end I turned to look at the Ufi Ma'am who nodded hesitantly.
"Sorry, Madam Ul, how about for example by asking directly to Bu Nyai. It's better if it's like that. Punten, Ma'am."
Mbak Ufi invites Iza to enter the muraqibah room. I'm waiting for them outside. Sit down on the floor. The question of muraqibah is the same. Mbak ndalem who suddenly moved must be questioned. The answers to both of them remain the same that it's the business of the lady. Does not explain why.
"If I get called to ndalem again, I'll ask Ummik that."
Less than five minutes. After that Ufi Ma'am drove Iza to santri's room. It turned out that Iza was told to occupy the third room of the first room, the muraqibah room.
After college, I went nowhere. I went home immediately after buying food from the shop. I bought a pack of hungry rice during the day. Often in the midst of my solitude eating like this, I remembered having dinner with Mbk Rubia near the campus. The one who entered became stopped. I gave him three fatiha for him who had calmed down there.
Rubia is the woman who likes me the most. As I remembered it, there appeared a real figure of him in front of me. It's not about longing that will never find common ground, but guilt that sometimes still looms. Especially when I haven't found the same love.
"Is this a reply from you, O Allah, for I have ignored the taste brought to death by Mother Rubia, I still have to wait for my apology from Fizah," I said.
I closed my eyes and felt everything around me. Slender. But no human being is truly alone. Because God must be put in the heart. Then the angel as his army never went from beside man. However, again my daily life was almost overshadowed by the laughter of a female figure who might have been with me. But, at another moment I was well aware of his absence. In another moment, I was struck by my own attitude. My mistake in treating Fizah. I wonder how chronological it happened.
Shortly after, I heard the post say hello. I'm rising. Urung finish the meal.
"Thank you, sir."
I read envelopes. Letter from Fizah.
"May the reply be as I wish," my mind.
Assalamu’alaikum.
One thing that I really wanted from the beginning was Mr. Nizam explained to my mother that actually Mr. Nizam never took me to boarding school. Until now, my mother still thought it was Mr. Nizam, but the real one was Yazeed. Gus Yazeed helped me get here. Helped without seeing what had happened to her. I'll just explain one thing. Mr. Nizam needs to remember that. I was in the most difficult position ever where I never wanted to be in my whole life. I was once tricked by someone who used to be nice to me. That's enough. I do not expect anything including Mr. Nizam's understanding. I only asked for one, Mr. Nizam was honest with my mother. Thank ye. Wassalamu'alaikum's chat.
Fizah's right. There is no harm if I follow his wishes. It has also become a must for me. This way, I can treat my guilt to her. I almost forgot my responsibility.
Ibuk called.
📞"Zam, Ibuk no invitation from Mustika. If you have time, you should come to the wedding. His request. He also wants to hear from you about.patrem or gitu lo, Le, he said."
📞"Alhamdulillah if he has already spread the invitation."
📞"Alhamdulillah. Two more weeks. It's Sunday, Le."
Patrem has not found the real owner. And only God knows when he will fall to a woman I am willing to edit again.