FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 110 "Lunches"

*Hafizah Palace

After I got out of the ndalem, following routine activities like the other santri-santri, it became harder for me to communicate with Yazeed. Asking Gus Fakhar is no longer possible even once for example he offers. Because the transfer of this room was intended so that he and I were not too close anymore. Yes I was still asked by Nyai Ridhaa to ndalem, but only once twice and not every day. Last time was yesterday the day after tomorrow because my mom called me. And, also have not met with Gus Fakhar because his schedule naji buku with santri putri empty, then replaced with tilawah activities with muraqibah. He also almost never went to the princess cottage if there is no need for a book salary. Along with the empty schedule, Ning Ulya turned out to be absent as well. Santri-santri thinks they have a family meeting.

I've been away from my ndalem family this week. The difference may not be too much because meeting with Bu Nyai Ridhaa is still every day at deposit. Yes, I am just like any other santri. Start murajaah deposit since the first night of the night in the cottage room. Inevitably, without waiting for my readiness, I also began to be required to focus on the Koran. But, how can I easily do it while I still have dependents answering Yazeed's proposal. I still fail often because I worry that Yazeed is waiting.

After reading the letter from my mother, I will not be in a hurry. I have such a great experience. That experience will be a lesson for the rest of my life. Household or relationship between the opposite sex is not just a matter of how the two can satisfy each other in relationships. Everything that happens under that garbage steals my mind almost every night. There are employees who still have a partner, but must fall there. Meanwhile, thirsty men ask for water is not uncommon also those who are still in pairs. Miris. In the midst of my worries, I cannot be ambitious to pursue love while I still have goals.

My mother was right. Yazeed's experience in turning the stairs was much greater. In fact, I don't have that experience. All I know is a sacred event in the celebration of his love. To be done without weeping and a sad heart, and without the coercion of the will. But, everything must be based on love and mutual respect. All that, Yazeed knew exactly. But, once am I really ready to accompany him with all the consequences I don't know about?

Looking at the many santri friends of my age, they were busy holding the Koran, those who did not immediately close their eyes when they approached their hearts because of the focus on remembering dreams, I realized I was too early to think about marriage. My mom got married when she was 26. And, actually right now I just need to say if Yazeed can wait for me that long? Four or five years? Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to communicate with him. Here, my wiggle room is getting limited.

Ms. Furiyama, the girl who looks like the artist Yukikato, but she is not a bresteran, she who is pitching in front of me. Then take two steps back to make sure what's with my face.

"Your face why is that?"

"No why."

"Related?"

"Yes sure."

Mbak Furi nodded.

"Sir, so far has anyone talked about me in this cabin?"

"But don't be surprised, yeah."

"Why is that?"

"This girl doesn't know everything. Santri-santri said, you deket the same Gus Fakhar. How close, huh? As a ndalem servant, right?"

I'm nervous. My anxiety sighed my heartbeats slowly.

"Aren't you lying?"

"I said don't be surprised. I want you to make sure straight away. Since you were, I'm asking you."

My eyes were drawn to the left. Ufi's mother waved her hand. He brought something like food.

"Sir Iz, there's something for you."

He looked at Mommy Furi. "Sir, he didn't borrow it for a second, yeah. There's need. Just a minute."

Mama Furi stays in place.

Ufi looked over for a bit.

"What's up, Ma'am?" I'm curious.

"It's Gus Fakhar's takeover."

"There was an event with the Kiai Ammar family. Ulya's not there either, is there?"

"Yes. Pantesan. People say that too."

"Gus Fakhar is getting weird to know. Already that close to the family of Mbak Ulya, still nitip something to you. It's food. Said satay. I dare not open. Emboh satay. Huh!" He shrugged his bowls and crackle packs while showing a look of astonishment.

Ufi ma'am took her slider in the armpit. "So that's Gus Fakhar his nitip stealth. Must be afraid of being found out (scolded) Nyai ma'am."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Gini. You do not need to respond to anything that Gus Fakhar shows. Either he offers something or something. Than you got mad at Miss Nyai."

"But, Kiai Bahar doesn't know yet, right?"

"Don't you know. But inshaallah is safe. Nyai ma'am ndak will dhawuh to Abah."

Though, I was puzzling over how to reply to Yazeed's message.

Ufi ma'am looked at my face which was looking the other way. "Buddy?"

"I'm actually confused. Wanted an answer to Gus Yazeed. You know how?"

"Wow, if that's who knows Gus Fakhar, but Gus Fakhar's ends again."

"How are you, Miss Fi?"

"I? How am I going?"

"Temperature (say) to Kiai Bahar if I want to ask Gus Yazeed to wait for my memorization to be completed. That's the minimum."

"Attent. You really are this?"

"Yes I think it's better to be offered first. If Gus Yazeed feels heavy, he can find a replacement as soon as possible."

"Well, but what if Gusus willing? Are you ready to marry him? I have been married three times. It's not really that if I'm a little troubled. But what he's doing right now, I don't think suits you. You will be dragged into a lot of heavy problems, Mbak Iz. Consider, deh, these words of mine."

"If asked to choose, I'd like to say directly. But, how is it going? Kan, my situation is like this now. Gus Yazeed hasn't been here either. Ask for help to Gus Fakhar, you say you can't."

"Sir. Ndak. What you have later is like giving an opportunity. I was wondering, why Gusus can like you too, Ma'am, Ma'am."

I hurriedly closed his mouth. Kuajak. Ufi ma'am can be released if I'm not sprightly.

"But, you keep this a secret in your meetings, yes. I believe you, Ma'am Fi."

"certainly. Where is it possible."

"Soalnya Mbak Furi who was the same as me said, there are santri-santri who know that Gus Fakhar is close to me. Any idea where that is?"

"Related, bye. I really don't know. Seriously." The serious face of Ufi is impossible to lie.