FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 157 "Kiai Soleh's Message"

*Tsaniya Tabriz

I found her chaotic face brought home. Between jealousy, disappointment, and understanding. If I had the power to resist, I would have fought my love for Yazeed all the way to the guarantee. But what is my day here. Status, happiness abah and ummik, also my mother's hope made me not have many opportunities to refuse. It's about birrul walidain to two parents that I can't avoid. About the obligation of a child to obey the wishes of his parents and the duty of santri to practice what he has learned. My past is bad, then what happens if I am also known by the students as a child who does not obey and give a bad image of his parents? Although I have to pay for it with my fame. My love does not reach the owner. I'm sorry, Yazeed. A thousand sorry I can't go on. Maybe I'm not the woman who deserves your love. I stared at him who had walked away with his car.

Next day. My dawn was greeted by the voice of Mr. Nizam teaching the book of Fathul Izar. I don't know what book it is. But, he was so eloquent in reading each of his bald arabians and interpreting them with Javanese. So is his explanation of the household even though he is still single.

I stood in the middle of the door. Leaning my head to my left side. Some verses I'm shipping. The morning breeze caressed my friendly face. Half I hold my drowsiness. No activities this morning. Still off until tomorrow. Mr. Nizam's voice continued to enter my ear passage. I thought it would be more comfortable if I sat in a chair. I'm sitting my ass in the rattan anhaman chair. Kuhela took a long breath.

When his voice paused for a moment, the quiet took over. The newlyweds have not been out of the room since dawn. I don't know what they're doing. Abah recited in the fitting room, while ummik murajaah memorized in the room. Ufi ma'am immediately pampit home after tahajud earlier. Picked up by his uncle in a rented car because his house was not too far away. This song also does not need to bother cooking, the rest of the food last night is still very enough if eaten until tomorrow. I warmed everything. I also prepared the rice, just waiting to mature in the magic jar.

"Mother?" Abah. He touched my right shoulder. Then sit next to me.

"Falem, Bah."

"Kabeh krono the result of Istikharah Abah, Nduk. Sampeyan sincerely?"

Translation: (All because of the results of the Istikharah Abah, Nduk. You sincere?)

"God, Bah." There's no way I'm saying no.

"Well, but why do you know the name of this kris?"

"Changed by isyarah."

"That means Abah is sure that Mr. Nizam is Niya's soul mate?"

"Nizam saguh ngabdi, Nduk. Abah ndak want to get to ninggalno pesantren iki."

Translated: (Nizam saguh ngabdi, Nduk. Abah don't want you to leave this school)

"Is it certain that Mr Nizam is a really good person?"

"Goddess, Nduk. Mbiyen Simbahmu Kiai Soleh once said Neng Abah, mbesok jadole wrong siji your son I enek sing duwe keris."

Translation: (God willing, Nduk. Formerly Sampahmu Kiai Soleh once spoke to Abah, one day the soul mate of one of your children was there who had a keris)

"So, my future has been guessed for a long time, Bah?"

"Your waste is sitting recklessly, Nduk. Sing ikhlas. Nduk, insyaallah Abah sure you kui lo jodone sampeyan. Your ummmik really did start. Ummikmu tanpo ngerti pesene Sampahmu, Ummikmu njodohne sampeyan karo Nizam."

Translation: (Your waste is not a random person, Nduk. The sincere yes. Nduk, God willing Abah is sure that is your soul mate. Your attitude was right from the beginning. Ummikmu without knowing the message Sampahmu, Ummikmu match you with Nizam)

Did Kiai Soleh pass down some of his power to me? I remember exactly how I escaped those hot desert nights. They suddenly died in front of me. But, it could also be because of the tirakat abah and ummik that was assigned to me.

"Father sitting by chance. Gusti Prince wis ngatur kabeh."

Translated: (It's not a coincidence. God has arranged everything) Abah is looking for a more comfortable position.

Fifteen minutes passed. The blue sky. Mango leaves outside the pesantren fence appear to fall some of them.

"Sampeyan rungokne, Nduk!" (You listen, Nduk!) Abah smile.

"Haaa?"

Abah hush. And, I quickly realized that abah was expressing his satisfaction after looking at what Mr. Nizam said to the sons of the santri.

"Oh, nggg."

"Sampeyan rabbi when, Nduk?"

"Well, Niya wants to study abroad."

"Opo kudu?" (What should be far away?)

"Abang will accompany Niya."

"Lawong Kakangankanmu kui jektas rabbi, mosok yo arepe ninggalne bojo."

Translation: (Lha Your brother was, right, just married, cooking would leave his wife)

I lowered my face.

"Magetan wae lecture, Nduk. University sing accreditasine wis apik must be akeh."

Translation: (Lecture in Magetan only, Nduk. A university with good accreditation should be plenty)

I'm getting bowed. Besides why should I be tempted by the saving dreams that Bang Fakhar said. If you would not allow me to be carried to Darul Amin, you might leave me to be with him for thousands of kilos. To whom does God give His help? Mr. Nizam was also a very obedient person to Abah. Even if I ask him later, the chances might be small. Yazeed, maybe you're the one who wants to help me make my dream come true. With your earnestness and love for me, you have always come down to all my ideals.

"Later you go to maeng durung metu songko room. Mosok yo Mbakmu arep. Direct dikersakne ngandhut, pripun, Nduk? Mesakne?"

Translation: (Your brother has not come out of the room. Cook yes Your mother will be left behind. Later if directly wanted pregnant how, Nduk? Poor right?"

"On when is your rabbinical wayae, Abah ora mekso, Nduk. Sampeyan pengene when, until maturo mae Ummikmu."

Translation: (On when is the time of your marriage, Abah does not insist, Nduk. You want it when, until you tell your Ummik)

But, I know you want me to get married shortly after this. Especially ummik who wants this matchmaking from the beginning. What does it mean to marry a young dreamer like me? Don't you want to marry Yazeed? Then, what's the problem? Whisper to another, I am like someone who has been disenfranchised and charged with making others happy. I just want to live with my mom. Accompanying my mother in the market without unsettling the past and the future. My tears want to melt.

Sunlight dips between the cracks of the twigs and leaves of the mango tree. No Ufi ma'am, ndalem becomes quiet. If the santri kang sweeps the yard late, usually Ufi Mbak who immediately visited even though he chattered that the santri kang was lazy.

*Tsaniya Tabriz

I took a shower, prayed a duha early, and recited half a juz. I walk in the pesantren yard while listening to kang santri. When I was alone going back and forth around the courtyard, there was not a single santri who bothered. They also run as usual. Some even pass by and bow. I subconsciously searched for Mr. Nizam. Where was he after teaching with Santri earlier? Is he still in the mosque pendopo.

I'm walking that way. Abah is receiving one patient who came all the way from Bondowoso. I saw some pairs of sandals still neatly pinched. I tried to peek at him. Instantly I was surprised. The one I peeked at accidentally bent his head outside the frame of the teak wood door typical of jepara carvings. I turned my back to his face immediately. I'm culling. I heard a slow step approaching me.

"Is there anything you want to ask, Ning?"

My eyebrows shot up. "When did he call me that?" my inner.

"Can I talk to Mr. Nizam alone?"

"Where are you talking? Here or in the saung?"

"It's okay here. I mean in the mosque."

"Sir, I'm straight to the point. When did Mr Nizam want to marry me?"

"Does that mean you're willing to accept me?"

"Jawab it, sir!"

"That's your business. Kiai has the right to determine this. If the question is how am I going to go back?"

"I want to marry Mr. Nizam, as long as I have conditions."

"Wedding on condition?"

"Isn't that allowed?"

"Hmm okay. Yes what's the condition?"

"Before I finish memorizing, is Mr Nizam willing not to touch me?"

"I just heard there's such a condition? Try to ask your Abah first, if it's okay if women apply for such conditions."

"Sir Nizam just answer me."

"It's about the law, Ning. Can't play with answers."

Why am I so frontal about it with him? I forgot who I was talking to. Piqued. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm leaving.

I ran into Mr. Nizam's mother. He smiled to greet me. I gave the same smile even though I didn't get to talk. I'm upset myself. Mixed shame. Why would I ask him that? I shouldn't have talked too intimately with him. Mr. Nizam will definitely not be easy to comply with my request. He will certainly count it.

"Dad?"

I didn't respond to Bang Fakhar's call in the living room.

"Now, did you leave the room? Already crotched?"

"What's so bad about hayok?"

"Duuuh," my inner. Slips again.

"Where is Ulya, Bang?"

"In the room."

"Well?"

"The client knows. She's taking a shower."

"Still just had a shower?"

"Yes. Why mother?"

"Eh, how do I think this is?" inner again. Suddenly err.

In front of Bang Fakhar I was wrong. What is Mr Nizam thinking now? I went to the back bathroom. Ablutions. I don't feel my stomach rumbling. But even eating becomes tasteless.

Happy reading. It's already gini. 😅😅🙏