FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 147 "My Worship to You"

Don't cry, yeah. 🌹🌹🌹5___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For mom, mom is great..

*Tsaniya Tabriz

There will be no one who will call me by the name of Fizah, except my mother. My mom is more comfortable calling me that. Because that's the special name my mother gave me. I don't mind. I have no problem until anytime still called mother by the name of Fizah. Sometimes if I'm called Tsaniya, I don't say it right away. I thought it was whose name, not mine. I still feel it's a foreign name. Sometimes I feel like I'm not myself if I'm called in Tsaniya's name. Nyai Ridhaa's mother who I now officially call my mother, Kiai Bahar who I must call my brother, then Gus Fakhar who asked me to be called brother, they all have called me by the name of Tsaniya.

I feel like I'm reborn into a new person. The figure I'm still learning because Tsaniya is different from Fizah. Tsaniya is a descendant of a kiai who is required to be a role model for santri and Fizah is just a santri with a dark past. Tsaniya is a much braver girl than Fizah. Tsaniya was born as a successor to the throne of the Al-Furqan pesantren, while Fizah was the mother of an ordinary family. Fizah has no power or wealth. Which will remain in my mother's heart, but will gradually disappear from Al-Furqan. And, in fact, it's not easy. I don't know if I'll need time to adjust for how long.

Later that night Tsaniya will be crowned as the jewel princess of the heart that has returned. More precisely I will be introduced to all students. Witnessed by the owner of Pesantren As-Salam and Pondok Darul Amin. The preparations are not grandiose. The pesantren page is covered with binoculars that are suitable to accommodate the entire santri son and daughter. The base is quite called a blue tarp. There is a four-meter-long pulpit lined with Turkish-style carpets. Two santri arranged a seat and a pillow on the pulpit. How much should be adjusted to the invited members of ndalem and kiai. Put up a total of nine pieces. Should be ten. But, since Ning Ulya had to stay focused on her tirakatan, then she would inevitably have to seclude herself in a special room to carry out the process of tirakatan.

The consumption is ordered five hundred servings meatballs for appetizers. There is also rice kebuli cooked directly by the expert. There is a cottage cook who has been an expert in cooking it for this pesantren. If usually the rice kebuli is cooked for the family ndalem or for the treats of the great guests, this time all the santri must enjoy the rice kebuli. And, the drink was brewed by the princess-santri in the kitchen. Preparations have started since this morning. But, I didn't join them at all until this afternoon. I was asked to ummik stay in ndalem, enjoy the santri traffic that participated busy preparing everything. In fact, the students do not know what event will be. Ning Ulya was asked not to tell me anything.

The night that was promised arrived. The pesantren page turned crowded and brightly lit. Not fancy indeed. Doesn't look formal. They know this is not a big event. There are no banners. There was only a white curtain decorated with several flowers hanging down. In the four corners of the pulpit have also been installed live flowers. Then, in front of the cake and the ingredients for the ndalem family are also prepared bukhur fragrances that have been burned in prapent. If the assembly is filled with fragrant aroma, it is expected that later angels will be present to witness it.

The yard was split in two. The left side is filled with groups of santri princess and the right is filled with santri putra. They have filled the pesantren page while enjoying the tambourine taboo of the santri in the pulpit. They are certainly cheerful when there is a crowded pesantren event. Because they are freed from activities that sometimes make them too saturated. But, I collapsed to dampen the heart palpitations that are increasingly blaring in the chest cavity. The rhythm of the tambourine should make me happy. The arrival of Kiai Ammar, candidates for Ummik besan and Kiai Abad, parents of Yazeed. I thought Kiai Abad only came together. Yazeed got out of the car, then took a wheelchair. Kang Toyo helped her get to our line of welcoming guests.

"Yaz?" I called lirih. Almost squeaking.

Yazeed smiled. What happened to that smile? His face was still too pale to attend this event until late at night. Why is he forcing himself? I approached Kang Toyo. I whispered.

"Kang, can you get out of the hospital?"

"Yet. Gus maksa."

"Yes my. How's to?"

"Regular, Ma. If you have a wish, it's the guy."

"Yes be careful, yeah. Just come up next to Yazeed."

"Okay, Ma'am."

We were all on the pulpit. Except for my mother, Kabi's father, and Mama Syawa who are welcome to sit on the chair that turns her back on the santri. Actually I chose to sit next to my mother, but ummik asked me and my mother also told me to obey the ummik request. Sometimes I give a glance. What might they think, why mbak ndalem asked to sit next to bu nyai while Mbak Ufi not? Also mbak ndalem who asked to wear expensive and beautiful. I'm sure they think so.

Go to the core event. Gus Fakhar took the microphone, while I tried to calm down. I smiled faintly as ummik turned to me to ask me to smile more freely. I looked at my mother as well as I, unable to take off a big smile. But, Mama Syawa from earlier did not stop showing a smile because waiting for this coronation was broadcast to all residents of the boarding school.

"Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah. Allahummahi wakafa, washshalatu wassalamu 'alan nabiyyil mustafa, wa' ala alai alihi washahbhi wamal wafa." Mukaddimah was conveyed along with expressions of gratitude and salawat to His Majesty the Prophet.

"Did any of you think why Iza was sitting next to Nyai?"

There were only whispers later.

Bang Fakhar asked me to come closer to him, but I shook my head. I'm shy. But ummik is also forcing. While holding back the sense of unwelcome, I shifted my sitting position until right next to Bang Fakhar. Bang Fakhar held my hand.

"Actually your friend who you've all considered to be Iza, she's Tsaniya Tabriz. My biological sister who went missing seventeen years ago."

Instantly the santri whispered louder. Bummer. I can catch a face of disbelief. Almost all of those faces. Some nodded because they had identified a partial resemblance of my face to the face of GmBang Fakhar, then justified the phrase conveyed by Bang Fakhar.

"I represented Abah and Ummik, I thanked him many times. God's destiny is extraordinary. Justjust wonderful. Completely beyond human expectations. Seventeen years is not a short time. You must have known the story by word of mouth." Bang Fakhar whose voice started to waver, then looked at me with teary eyes, he continued, "He is, he is Tsaniya. The sister I missed. Which we have missed all this time. God allows us to gather again. Back I represent the parents, I say thank you. Jazakumullah was worried about Bu Mini, Mr. Kabi and Mrs Syawa. May Allah reward you with many times the reward. Honestly, we will never be able to reply with anything. With any gift we cannot. Only with jazakumullah khiran katsiran."

My tears are melting. The atmosphere is very haru. Pushed my face. I erased it with the end of my hood. I tried to smile to all the students who took turns focusing only on me and Bang Fakhar.

"Would you like to say something?"

I took the microphone. I bowed my face for a moment. Then I looked up while smiling. I looked at my mother's face.

Bang Fakhar looked back. Asking the santri to accompany my singing.

Mother

You are the mouth of love and affection

Whatever you're doing

For your dear child

My voice is normal. Although these tears already felt like sliding. I'm still holding him.

Mother

You never expect a reply

For what you did

For me you love

When I'm close to touch

Hugged your love and darling

When I'm out of range

Your prayer you include

Forgive me mother

Sometimes I accidentally make

Your heart is hurt

My voice is raucous. Cry broke. I saw my mother hiding her face that was already red with tears. I closed my eyes, then continued with the lyrics in a voice that had completely wavered. Fals and can not climb high. I'm down again. I lifted my face, forced my lips to make my mother smile.

I want you to know Mother

How much I love you more than anything

Please be in my step

My happiness with your prayers

Source: musixmatch

At the end of the song, my heart is broken. I'm limp. Bang Fakhar touched my body. Hugged me 'cause I almost got a javelin. He whispered warm words. His hands created a movement to calm me down. This man also cried, although not as bad as I cried.

"It has. It's." Already."

I'm calming. I let go of such a long breath. Silent mood. I looked at everyone in front of me and stopped in my mother's face.

"Thank you, mother."