FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 134 "When the Sun"

*Hafizah Palace

Mr. Kabi's noisy car that was about to enter the pesantren yard stopped the movement of my hand that was still washing the ageman bu nyai. I who originally wanted to muffle the noise of my worries by doing the work ndalem was back unsettled. Hope anxious. I still hope that the news they bring is as I wish.

"Mom, Mommy?" Ufi ma'am knocked on the kitchen bathroom door.

"Yes?" I'm yelling.

"Sampun rawuh (has come)."

"Yes knows. I don't want to go out."

"They're with your mother, Ma'am."

Raised head. I'm opening doors. "Seriously?"

"Yes. That's why you came out. Wash your face first. Your face still wipes it."

"I pinch your skirt, yeah, Ma'am. Mine's wet."

"The man I hung on the cantolan. I just packed it once."

Mbak Ufi breezed while answering nggeh because it was called Gus Fakhar.

I'll take a moment. Then, to the room Mbak Ufi change another skirt. My turn is called Gus Fakhar. He knocked on the door twice.

"Just a minute, Gus." I'm hurrying up to the fray of the skirt. I'm clucking.

I'm opening doors. I saw him sculpt. Staring at me didn't blink. I thought there was something wrong with my face.

"Your hood is tilted."

"Oh." I slightly turned my face. I fixit briefly.

"Already," she said after seeing my headscarf more presentable. Gus Fakhar smiled.

Views dimmed. The eyeball held a different compassion than before. His eyes spoke, though his mouth was reluctant. But, why is Gus Fakhar looking at me unusual? My mind started to guerrilla. My hopes fell bit by bit. It was possible that my mother had told me many things that I did not know. Without asking for permission, both hands pulled my back. Arguing me with a very strong moan. Our heart beats. I heard it loud from his chest. Because my face is now completely stuck to the place where the sound came from. I still don't understand. Can a gus hug his ndalem servant so tightly? Will this not lead to bad prejudices? Why can't Gus Fakhar hold it? What is this hug? Moving even a little I can't.

Gus Fakhar's hand was stroking my head. I was embarrassed because my body odor was too bad to breathe. I'm still sweating. While apologizing, he let go. Smile again. A very sweet and loving smile.

"Za, Abah brought your mother here. Meet him!"

I'm staring. To my surprise, both hands touched my cheeks. Then, his lips landed for a moment on my crown. But, strangely I do not feel the vibrations as the shakes appear if two people who are not mahrams touch each other. All I felt was the thrill of waiting for the news of what I was about to hear.

I waltz away. I slowly opened the curtains connecting the middle room and living room. My mother greeted me with a face that was haphazard. Why is my mother crying? I dropped the snoring. I hugged her. My mother's shoulders are dirty with snot. My mother's embrace was pushing tears that didn't really want to come out. But, my beautiful heart could not stand being in this kind of atmosphere, at such a thrilling meeting. I thought with me crying roaring, my mood would change for the better. But, his condition is getting tense. I spread the view.

The gaze of Bu Nyai Ridhaa also changed as Gus Fakhar looked at me. From the face, I understood her mother as if she wanted to hug me too. But, madam just stayed and smiled at me.

"Son, Fizah son of Ibuk, manut with Nyai Ma'am, yes, Nduk. Bu Nyai and Pak Kiai nyuwun until DNA test. Sampeyan wants to, to?"

"But, why, Buk?" I sobbed. My lips curled down. My tears are still on my feet.

"That's it. Just be manut." Mother's voice became vibrating. The fall of my tears following the fall of my tears.

"What didn't I tell you, Buk?" I held ibuk's thigh.

I looked at the nyai ma'am. Bu nyai nodded.

"What do you apologize for? What's wrong, Mother? I don't understand." My tears are flowing river. It boils down to my lap.

"Sampeyan know why your attitude and Eldest also Bungsu is different? Sampeyan is soft and they're rough?"

I adorned momuk. Kuredam debar in my chest as much as possible. But, the way my mother delivered her sentence was even more disturbing.

"Sampeyan knows why your face is so much more ayu than Eldest?"

I'm staying quiet. Digesting that question deeply.

"Sampeyan knows why I love you so much?"

I quickly pulled my back.

"Fizah my son, Duh Gusti. Piye iki (how is this)?"

I'm mute. But my heart asks a lot of things. There's a lot more. And, I can't afford to ask. Considering I haven't been completely honest with my mom about what happened in the past months. I feel my cheeks warm. My face was almost wet. My sniffles almost out of the hole. I'm with my fingers.

Ibuk is still as happy. I've never heard my cry so bad as today. Saddened when annoyed with mbak or youngest, ibuk never wreaths like this.

Ibuk. I rubbed his tears.

"That's because I want a kid like you, son."

The deg! Ruptured. Dashed is my hope.

"Hummer dear karo sampeyan. Sampeyan gem hatine Ibuk."

I don't need to clarify. With my question, my mother would definitely hurt more to hear it. But I can catch what all that means. For that mother begged me to be willing to obey the request of bu nyai and kiai. The signs are becoming clearer. I'm getting harder to deny. If fear is quick to sigh in my chest. I nodded. I want ibuk's request. I'll follow this groove as best I can. As said by Ufi.

"Zazlyn, Mama loves you too, baby. Hugged Mama dong."

Nyonya Shawawa spread out her hands. I moved closer to him. I lift my neck.

The eyes of this woman are also more or less the same. His affectionate glowers radiate when I look. Warmly felt.

"I still stink, Madam. I just washed my clothes."

"No. Don't call me madam. Just call Mama. Because it was Mam who saved you from those trade syndicates. Okey? Call me mom."

I nodded. I looked at my mother. Ibuk smiled, but his face became a bronze. Who wants to part with him? There aren't. But, the lamentation of a mother's heart is certainly more poignant.

"Zaz, we'll be after the DNA shopping test first huh, honey. Can't refuse. Yeah?"

I just accept that request. What I am thinking about right now is my mom. The great secret that I kept in meetings for a dozen years has been revealed. I should have also said that I too had fallen under that trash. But how and when should I say it?

We were ready to go to the hospital after I changed clothes. Ufi ma'am was still holding me in the kitchen when I told me to take over the laundry that I hadn't finished yet.

"I'm kudu crying. Dramatic atmosphere. Duh."

"Dramatically what?"

"Hopefully the test is smooth, yes. There are no obstacles whatsoever." Ufi's mom guaranteed it herself.

Today just one eps, yeah. Hehe. Thank you so much for reading. Looking forward to the next eps.. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹